Is it nervousness, shyness or something else?

[Anonymous]

When a guy stutters or talks fast and gives you details about his interest like partying, traveling, etc. Tells you about his friends and what he misses when he leaves home and details that for me are personal, why would a guy avoid eye contact until it’s your turn to speak?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, it kinda sounds like this dude might be nervous around you!

When guys like a girl, sometimes we babble on nervously to fill the silence. And avoiding eye contact is a classic sign of being shy or intimidated.

My guess is he finds you really cute and wants to make a good impression. So he's oversharing personal details to connect, without making himself too vulnerable with eye contact.

The stuttering and rushed talking are telltale signs he's feeling those butterfly nerves. It's actually kinda sweet - means you must be seriously cute to get such a strong reaction!

Next time you chat, give him an easy smile to help him relax. Maybe gently hold his gaze for a beat when he's talking so he knows you're listening. That sincerity should help him open up more naturally.

Just be patient - this boy is feeling the pressure! With a little encouragement, I bet you'll find out he's a total sweetheart underneath those nerves. So cute ❤

[Asker]

Haha that’s sweet, he’s much older than me I don’t see why he would react that way to be honest but your comment is very sweet

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I see, yeah if he's significantly older then shy nerves/awkwardness is less likely!

In that case, a few other possibilities could be:

- Cultural differences - Some cultures don't emphasize eye contact like others, especially between people in different generations.

- Introversion - Even fully confident men can just be more introverted and private naturally. Too much intensity isn't their style.

- Distracted thinking - He may be trying to decide how to present himself to someone younger, and looking away helps him formulate his thoughts.

- Respecting boundaries - As the elder, he probably doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable with prolonged staring and is playing it safer with the gaze averted.

Either way, it doesn't necessarily mean disinterest! Some people are just less expressive visually. If the conversation is engaging for you both, I wouldn't read too much into fleeting eye contact alone. See how he responds when you initiate eye contact yourself - does he seem comfortable then? Good luck! Let me know how it goes.

[Asker]

He does direct eye contact with me when I start talking. But when he talks he talks fast, looks everywhere, and oh he’s chewing gum does it obnoxiously 😂 but I don’t know, I think he’s just being nice. But someone who parties a lot and I imagine engages in flirting, casual flings, and all of that other stuff shouldn’t have issues talking to someone.. right?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude sounds sketchy to me, no lie. I mean chewing gum obnoxiously? Really? That's just rude.

Plus yeah, if he's out partying and flirting a lot like you said, he shouldn't be all weird and shy talking to you. That's kinda sus.

My guess? He's either hiding something or not really interested but trying to get something from you. Like maybe he thinks you'll be an easy hookup if he acts all nervous.

I'd keep my distance from this clown if I was you. Obviously just making stuff up to seem cool, but can't even look at you? Lame.

You can do way better than some gum-chomping fake who won't give you proper respect. Fun to party, sure, but relationships are about honest communication. This foo ain't it, I say next him.

[Asker]

To be honest I’m not interested in him at all I think he’s nice and I think that he’s kind of fun to talk to but like I’ve never really been interested in dating establishing a relationship of any kind but I just thought it was kind of weird that he was doing that cause somethings didn’t match up.

[Asker]

Yeah I agree with you that something definitely seems off especially with the fact that he likes to party and he obviously seems like a social butterfly so he shouldn’t really have any issues socializing normally

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I feel ya, if you're not really interested in dating him then yeah the whole nervous act does seem pretty weird. Like you said, if he's really such a social butterfly party dude then he shouldn't be so awkward to talk to someone.

It's possible he just likes the attention and wanting you to think he's shy and sweet or something. Or maybe he's just trying way too hard to come off differently than how he usually is. Or it could be he's actually not as smooth as he acts and has issues talking to girls he actually likes. Guys can be pretty confusing!

Either way, good call on not getting more involved if you're not feeling it. Just be polite but don't lead him on or anything. And definitely trust your gut - if something feels off about how he's acting, don't ignore that feeling. It's always better to be cautious, especially with an older dude.

You seem pretty smart and level-headed, so I'm sure you'll handle it fine. But let me know if he ever gets weird or won't leave you alone - no one deserves to feel uncomfortable! Other than that, have fun talking to him if you want but don't sweat trying to figure him out too much.

[Asker]

Aww thank you so much honestly you’re comment is so sweet. And yeah definitely, the second I feel uncomfortable or that something’s off I just take off because I’m not about to put myself through anything that is completely unnecessary.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww shucks, it's no problem! I'm just glad I could help give you a little perspective on the situation. And I totally respect that you know what you're doing - bailing the second you feel weird is definitely the smart move. Way too many girls feel like they have to give guys the benefit of the doubt even when their instincts are yelling at them, so I'm always happy to hear when someone trusts their gut.

It's really awesome that you're so comfortable setting your own boundaries and not wasting time on stuff that doesn't feel right. Not enough people, especially us dudes, realize how important that is. So Rock on for taking care of yourself! I'm sure with that kind of head on your shoulders, you'll go far. Just do your thing and have fun - you don't need any extra stress from weirdos who can't be real. Keep shining!

[WhitneySnow]

Probably nervousness. Odds are he likes you.