Why would a guy try so hard to persuade me for sex early on when I’m looking for something serious and he knows that?

[Anonymous]

So he’s made out he’s looking for something serious and long term too. However he talks about sex a lot & mentioned how if a girl doesn’t give him sex men usually find it somewhere else.

I have made it clear that i’m open to it in future but i’m looking for serious. It’s very early on and He then proceeds to invite me over or try to make dates where he’s able to behave sexually.

why doesn’t he just go for someone who is looking for casual?

[ohsheeT]

Here is a learning lesson
Most guys that don't stick around are that are not going to stick around will tell a girl everything she wants to hear just to get in her pants to be that good guy of course he's going to say he wants something long-term something serious now pull off your panties and if you were to give in you wouldn't see him after that probably

But you have the right idea just listen to them because no matter what he says to you he will tell you the truth in the same sentence without even knowing what he just said LOL

[Asker]

Ah yeah, I think it’s really disingenuous though because seems like he uses the girls for a long time. I got a call off a girl and she told me she was sleeping with him on & off over the course of a year & that they were not in a relationship. She wanted to know what was going on between me and him.

She told me to keep careful. Ah true, to be honest he’s just too obvious lol. His intentions are so clear. Everyone’s entitled to do whatever they want but leading people on to think he wants serious is crazy 🤷🏽‍♀️

[teamvic]

Because he wants to fuck YOU bro

You may want something long term but that's not what he wants. If he knows you are at least open to go in a relationship, to him it means he may have a chance at fucking you

Also I'm sure he is trying to find other for sex. Don't think you're the only one. it's why he keeps inviting you over. It's all a plan to get your cheeks. He don't care about you nor does he care about long term. He's just tryna tell you what you're trying to hear, but he's very bad at hiding what his intentions are

[Asker]

An okay it’s just ridiculous because I have made it very clear that I won’t be anytime soon. He’s still trying SO hard. Yeah I’ve actually not gone to his place at all. Just met him outside.

Yeah he knows I’m not dumb though and making his intentions so clear is silly of him too 🤷🏽‍♀️ I think it’s disingenuous to do that. He’s literally spoken about his family & everything & asked about mine.

[teamvic]

I recommend just ghosting him to be honest🤔

[Anonymous]

How long have you been with him or known him, do you know of his past history and has he been casual before?

[Asker]

It’s only been a month, I don’t know much about his past history BUT I did get a phone call off another woman saying she’s wondering what’s going on as she was sleeping on and off with him the past year.

Seems like she caught feelings, she says she wasn’t in a relationship with him. However she just told me to be careful and says he does it to a lot of girls. He denied it and said she’s a psycho ex 🤷🏽‍♀️

[Asker]

I did match with him on a so 2 years ago but it didn’t last long we spoke like a week, I felt he was being too full on. 2 years later he liked me on there again so I thought I’d give it another chance

[spartan55]

@asker you admit you barely know him, but you sure are making a ton of assumptions about him. Would you like it if he did that to you?

[Asker]

@spartan55 I’m not making assumptions I’m just saying what has happened. I wouldn’t mind if he did, I don’t have anything to hide & I’ve been honest with him

[spartan55]

Wow... female accountability at its finest.

[Opinion Owner]

Too be honest, if you are looking for someone serous probably not him, serious people don't have women calling you, yes they beg for sex but they should also want to plan outings, days out, dinners, flowers, fun actives or non sexual stuff too. You want to be best friends but be attracted to each other.

[Finchie40]

Because Men want sex , that’s pretty
Much our way of feeling closer to a girl that we really like , if we aren’t receiving sex from a girl , we will more than likely leave her for someone else that doesn’t with hold intimacy and affection. So if you like this guy and want to be closer to him , have sex with him, if you don’t want to be closer to him then tell him to move on

[RingOfFire]

It's impossible to tell what's going on in this case. But isn't it possible that he really likes you and wants a long term relationship, but in the meantime he's horny as hell as most men are?

And maybe he prefers having sex with you then with someone else. And that's why he keeps bringing it up.

I'm not saying his approach is right or wrong or even that he's being honest, but isn't that a possibility?

[Asker]

Thanks for your opinion. He says he’s been really trying with me. I understand where you’re coming from he is horny and when we were together he put his hand on my upper thigh. But didn’t push for anything.

I understand BUT I met him on a Saturday for the first time) we just held hands & he touched me a bit & we hugged. BUT the next day I found out he had Aparently slept with a girl he was seeing for a while through a no caller id phone call so he really wanted sex.

I know it’s on his mind but makes me wonder does he really like me if he can’t even wait a little bit of time & is going back to a fuckbuddy to get it?

[RingOfFire]

There is definitely that risk. It could happen.

What you just said about having sex with that other girl makes me think it's more likely that he isn't necessarily in it for the same reasons that you are.

I think the best advice I have is to have a talk with him and tell him that you are interested in getting to know him better but want to be sure that what you have is real before taking that next step. And you could mention that you understand if that doesn't work for him, but you don't feel comfortable any other way.

That puts the ball in his ballpark. He has to make a decision instead of leaving you in a state of not knowing what to do.

[Asker]

Yeah I did make it very clear to him that I’m looking for something serious & he agreed the same. After hearing him sleeping with that girl made me think otherwise.

I realise that it’s not all black and white but yeah I do have to be careful. I agree thank you for the advice it has been really helpful.

I agree, he did listen to my boundaries the day we had Met. But it’s important we’re both on the same page

[RingOfFire]

Sounds like you have a good grasp on the situation. Good luck. 🙂

[superchan2011]

He must be seeing you as a challenge to conquer. if he can get you in the bed after you were being resisitant that'll stroke his ego even more. don't do it, find a guy out there that's looking for the same thing as you and not just claiming to be just so he can get in your panties

[OlderAndWiser]

Many players are hunters and the thrill is greater when the pursuit is a challenge.

[Asker]

Hmm I understand

[spartan55]

Why would he do that when he likes you? Your logic makes no sense.

[Asker]

Because he might only just be looking for sex?

[spartan55]

Lol... ALL guys want sex. Some want the relationship that goes along with it too.

[Asker]

Yeah not sure about him though, as he slept with a girl he was on& off this last year on the day after we first met. I got a phone call off her 🙃

[spartan55]

@asker and of course she would never lie to you about any of their situation... are you for real?

[Asker]

I know I can’t trust what she says as I don’t know her, however the only way she could have got my number is if she went through his phone. When I asked him he denied it and said she probably used a tracker & that she’s a psycho.

He then said he met her to give her things & that she left a long time ago. So I was more suspicious of his lying than what she was saying

[spartan55]

Is this dude really your best option? He sounds like too much hassle.

[Asker]

I did really like him but can’t have someone lying to me. I told him it’s not going to work & deleted him he’s tried ringing on no caller id a few times yesterday. It’s been 2 weeks since I cut it off

[spartan55]

You DID like him, now he has shown you who he is and it's not so great.

[Asker]

Yeah thank you best decision made to stop speaking to him 😄

[Anonymous]

For the same reason women flirt with men sexually that if you asked then out would shot you down in nothing flat. It's amusing to me that you think people should behave honorably just because it's the right thing to do.

[LiamJHayden]

A lot of guys only really care about sex. sounds like you have found one.

[Twalli]

You can want sex early and still want a long relationship.

[NathanDavis]

because he doesn't care... unless it's sex

[Asker]

But why try SO hard there’s so many other ways to get sex from a woman (who’d happily want to) he’s also an attractive guy

[NathanDavis]

because when they insist that much on it... it will fail 99% of the time, but eventually

one will say yes from time to time, or believe it and fail for it

[Asker]

Ah okay I just didn’t understand it. As there’s apps like tinder and I’m sure he’d get some from there 🤷🏽‍♀️ he also wants to see me for hours on end which makes no sense to me. Wants me to keep my Saturdays free 🙃

[NathanDavis]

these kind of guys just like to go around... not to commit to one

[Asker]

Yeah seems like it, I just wonder what kind of woman do they eventually end up settling with or do they always stay like this?

[NathanDavis]

some women are naive or less experienced, and fall for it... or, others are just into the same and just go for it..

[Asker]

Oh okay thank you

[NathanDavis]

most welcome

[ProbablyClueless]

Because he doesn't care about what you want.

[Anonymous]

Because men will be men.

[Asker]

Ah yeahh 🙃🙃

[jahaims]

Because he wants sex obviously

[noohair]

Guys are motivated by sex first.

[Woyboy]

Hump and dump

[Anonymous]

Just let him hit

[Asker]

Why?

[Opinion Owner]

You both like each other? Why is it that deep for women

[Asker]

Because I don’t wanna be used I’d prefer to have something which will last long term

[Opinion Owner]

Well if you keep letting him hit it will last long. Women make no sense

[Asker]

Then he will just go off with someone else when he gets bored. If that’s his main priority. Does that make sense? Ahaha