Why does my guy friend feel the need to remind me the we are just friends?

[Anonymous]

I’m been friends with this guy for three years (he is my best friends’ boyfriend). I am not attracted to him (like at all) and he’s not my type. I ask him for guy advice and talk about guys I like (something that I don’t do with I guy I was into). I’ve noticed that throughout our friendship, he has felt the need to constantly remind me that we are “just friends” and that he doesn’t see me in that way. I’m not doing anything that crosses boundaries or anything.

Why does he feel the need to do this?

[Anonymous]

I used to work with a woman like this. I made the mistake of asking her out once. Not because it's that big of a deal for me. But apparently it was for her. For the rest of the time we worked together if I ever started getting to chummy with her she had to remind me that she's not interested in me. Eventually I had to stop associating with her altogether because it got too annoying. At that point she started stalking me.😳

I think this guy much like this girl had, has self esteem issues. I believe like this girl, this guy may genuinely have no interest in you other than needing the ego boost of reminding you that you're "just friends".

I would just laugh it off.

[Asker]

Rejecting someone boosts someone’s ego? It makes me feel bad.

[Asker]

What I also don’t understand about him is when he is drunk, he will be touchy feely and once asked to hold my hand.

[Opinion Owner]

It makes a normal person feel bad. Nobody enjoys hurting another person. Unless the person doing the rejections self esteem is so bad that it feels like it give them sort of power. Understand? If you don't, don't feel bad. It just means your normal and you haven't had to understand a person like this. It took me a while to understand her. Like I say we worked together. A big tipoff for me would have been if I'd known about her dating history (or more accurately her sleeping with guys history). Because she would on be interested in guys already in relationships. Because again, it was a power thing with her. She wasn't attracted to any of those guys. She just liked trying to bust up other women's relationships because in her mind it put her above them. She was toxic to the core. I really dodged a bullet. When I started dating other women that's when she started coming on to me. Which confused me at first until I find out her history. Then I realized why she was doing it.

There are people like this out there. Be careful.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, that doesn't surprise me at all. He likes your reaction, not you.