Why would a guy try so hard only to back away when it’s his turn to meet me in my city?

[Anonymous]

So a guy I’ve been talking to & met a few times love bombed like crazy. He then calmed down & matched my energy instead. But he always wanted us to meet and would message a lot.

I have been to see him a few times in his city. He came to my city but was very grumpy and didn’t even let me know till the day what time he’s coming.

it got so awkward I just said to him I’ll just drive back to your city doesn’t seem you like it here. We went back to his city and majority of the day he had sarcy comments towards me.

when I confronted him he said it’s not me he’s had a stressful week. He said I’m like a cartoon character and that I wouldn’t be able to be in a proper job around people and that I’d be clueless that’s why I work from home Aparently. I said to him you made it so awkward I took the initiative and drove back to your city. He gave me a present at the end of the day which has some soaps and bathbombs in.

since we met I messaged him to confront him he replied back properly but there has been a major turn. We haven’t spoken since. What’s happened here? (I’ve just deleted his number)

Updates

1 y

@oliverlogan263 would love to know your thoughts if possible

[ProbablyClueless]

He sounds like an avoidant type of person. Someone who leans really heavy into connections with people and then freaks out when the energy gets reciprocated.

[Asker]

Ah okay, well it just happened out of nowhere because he’s been making effort for weeks. Do you think it’s that or he just figured one day he doesn’t like me anymore?

[spartan55]

Once he met you in person everything went downhill.

[Asker]

He’s met me a few times it was the time he was coming to my city where it went like that.

[spartan55]

Guess he didn't like doing that. He sounds like an asshole anyway, is he your best option?

[Asker]

Yeah he obv didn’t. I said to him you didn’t need to come here if you didn’t want too. I just really liked him. I said to him I don’t think it’s going to work. This time round he hasn’t love bombed and he’s accepted it 🤷🏽‍♀️

[spartan55]

Hmmm... that sucks, sorry to hear that. I was always excited to go visit wherever my SO lived.

[Asker]

No worries it’s for the best. Aw that’s so cute. I know you give honest opinions I wanted to ask what could be the reason he’s decided to not try really hard anymore and it took a 100 degree turn. It’s only since he had to visit me that day and texting wise after.

[spartan55]

I'm not sure. Like someone suggested, he may have an SO. Manybe something else on his side happened (unrelated to you)

[Asker]

Oh okay no worries! Well if he does that’s ridiculous as he asked me to be his girlfriend last few times we met

[spartan55]

Too many red 🚩 flags on that guy.

[MannMitAntworten]

You deleted his number. His was odd behavior. Not worth trying to figure out.

[slatyb]

He's not single. Stop wasting your time.

[Asker]

Sorry what do you mean?

[Intheclouds00]

Has a girlfriend / wife

[Asker]

Do you think so, I also have a feeling there must be someone major in his life as he acts so clingy. What made you think he has a girlfriend/wife?

[Intheclouds00]

Guys don't make excuses and are too anything to be unavailable emotionally or otherwise unless they don't feel it anymore or there is a big lie somewhere. He seems to like you, so it's probably the lie and the lie is always they are with someone else. When shit doesn't make sense there is a reason. Most people make sense.

[Asker]

I get what you mean I think you’re right. However how come it only took a turn when he was to come here? Three times before that there was no issues when I went to see him. However first two times I only saw him for 3 hours. This time it was around 9 hours.

[Intheclouds00]

Because it is one thing to break away from his life for a few hours, another entirely to go to you and leave his life which probably isn't very feasible or possible although when he said he would he really wanted to. The consequences are too great for him.

[seanscoopers]

Maybe he doesn't likes you

[Cheerfull009]

Forget then

[Asker]

Not sure what’s happened here though