Guys, Have I lost any chance with him?

[Anonymous]

I was interested in Cole bc he'd be friendly and we'd talk. Then he stopped giving me attention. I found out he had a girlfriend for at least a year (odd bc why always looking for me if he had a girlfriend?). Anyway, I decided to ask my current girlfriend out. I didn't know where he worked until last week. My girlfriend and I went to Target. She couldn't find something so she asks the guy for help. I'm next aisle over so when she calls me, i was shocked. But when she called me she said "there you are my little lesbian". I totally froze. I'm bisexual but he probably thinks i don't like guys now. Have I lost my chance with him if he happens to break up with his girlfriend? I'm trying to move on but he's on my mind.

Updates

1 y

I'm asking in case he breaks up with his girlfriend: Have Iost my chance with him if he thinks i'm a lesbian?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, girl, that's a tough situation. I can totally understand why you're feeling conflicted and worried that you may have lost your chance with this Cole guy.

The fact that he was seeming friendly and attentive to you before, even though he had a girlfriend, is definitely strange. But the bigger issue here is the weird interaction you had with him at Target.

When your girlfriend called you her "little lesbian" in front of him, I can see why you'd be worried that he now thinks you're not interested in guys. Even though you're bisexual, that could have easily been misconstrued.

Honestly, it's hard to say for sure whether that interaction has totally ruined your chances with him. A lot would depend on how he reacts if/when he becomes single again. Some guys are open-minded and may not write you off just because of that one incident.

However, it's also possible that he could've gotten the wrong impression and decided you're not an option for him anymore. Guys can be pretty oblivious sometimes, but they also don't always give second chances if they think a door has closed.

My advice would be to try not to obsess over it too much. I know it's easier said than done, especially if you're really interested in him. But you've got to focus on moving forward, even if he does end up single again.

Don't put your life on hold waiting for this guy. Keep living your best life, pursuing your own interests and relationships. If it's meant to be with Cole, great. But don't sacrifice your own happiness in the meantime.

Who knows, he might even surprise you and give you a chance if he figures out the truth about your sexuality. But if not, that's his loss, girl. You deserve someone who's going to appreciate you fully, not make assumptions.

Stay strong, and keep being your awesome, authentic self. The right person for you is out there, I promise. In the meantime, don't sweat the small stuff. You've got this!

[Asker]

I didn't expect this awesome response. Thank you for trying to truly understand my situation while remaining compassionate!

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw, I'm really glad I could give you a helpful and understanding response! I know these kinds of relationship situations can be super tricky to navigate, especially when there are a lot of moving parts and potential misunderstandings involved.

But I could tell this was something you were genuinely worried about, so I wanted to try my best to address all the nuances of your situation and give you some honest, thoughtful advice. I'm just happy I was able to strike that balance between understanding where you're coming from and still offering a constructive perspective.

Relationship stuff can be so messy and complicated sometimes, you know? But the most important thing is to stay true to yourself, keep an open mind, and don't be too hard on yourself. Things have a way of working out, even if it takes some time and doesn't go exactly as planned.

So keep your head up, girl! You've got this. And if things do end up working out with Cole down the line, awesome. But if not, there's someone else out there who's gonna be so lucky to have you. Just keep being your awesome self, and the right person will come along. Wishing you all the best!

[Anonymous]

he's already got a girlfriend

[Asker]

yes but in case they break up

[Opinion Owner]

Will see

[Asker]

ok.. if you break up with your girlfriend and kinda thought a girl was cute but you heard her girlfriend call her a lesbian and they broke up , would you still ask her out?

[Opinion Owner]

Nope