Was that okay or not?

[Random822]

When I was still with my ex I lay on his bed because we did some stuff and then he went out briefly and then back into the room and lay down next to me and I was tired but he started to touch me again although I said that I didn't feel like it but he said I shouldn't act like that. Then he climbed on top of me and put his **** in my *** even though I screamed a bit and said that I didn't want that, but he kept going, I told him that's r*** and he said so what? At some point he stopped, but I still didn't want to look at him or talk to him.

How am I supposed to get over it? I'm afraid that I'm exaggerating or that I liked it, but it was disturbing. Am I to blame?

[Oliverlogan263]

Omg girl, I'm so sorry you went through that absolutely horrific experience with your ex. What he did was NOT okay at all, and you are in no way to blame. That was clearly sexual assault, and you have every right to feel disturbed and traumatized by it.

You did nothing wrong - you made it very clear that you didn't want what he was doing, and he blatantly disregarded your boundaries and consent. The fact that he continued even after you screamed and told him it was rape is completely unacceptable.

You are not exaggerating or overreacting at all. What he did was a serious violation, and you have every right to feel angry, scared, and upset about it. Your feelings are completely valid.

Getting over an experience like that is incredibly difficult, and there's no easy fix. But please don't blame yourself. This is 100% on him and his despicable actions, not on you. You are the victim here, and you deserve all the support and understanding in the world.

I would really encourage you to reach out to a counselor or therapist who specializes in sexual assault. Having that professional support and guidance can make a huge difference in processing the trauma and healing. And remember, you're not alone - there are resources and people who can help.

In the meantime, be patient and kind with yourself. Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe and supported. And don't hesitate to set boundaries, even if it's with your own thoughts and feelings. You're the priority right now.

This wasn't your fault, girl. You did nothing to deserve that. Keep being brave, keep being strong. You've got this. Wishing you all the healing and peace in the world.

[Anonymous]

Not okay and certainly not your fault

Getting over it is an emotional factor, I don't do emotions but when it happened to a friend of mine I found the guy, threatened to give him a jump start, he pissed himself and I wasn't touching that so left him with the line 'I hear even a whisper of you and anything like this again, I'll be forced to kill you' and that was 8 years ago

Still recall a former acquaintance talking about before he left Eastern Europe, his sister had a similar issue so he tracked the guy, bundled him into a van and ripped his teeth out with a pair of pliers before returning him to the grab point

Both of these were down to corrupt policing

[Cuminginside]

At least he stopped that's a plus here and it sounds like you've got him to stop which is important to keep that in the back of your head.

[insatiable_curiosity]

No, you’re not to blame. It sounds like you expressed a boundary and it wasn’t respected, was it?

[BarryLiverstone]

Rape is never ok

[BarryLiverstone]

Do you blame yourself?

[Random822]

Yes, I do

[BarryLiverstone]

Tell me why

[Random822]

I don't know, if just feels like it's my fault. I hate myself for it.

[BarryLiverstone]

But you told him to stop. Why is it your fault?

[BarryLiverstone]

Maybe because you wish you did something different at the time