Is he trying to make a move?

[Anonymous]

Is it appropriate for a married man to say "hey let's order lunch" with single female at work? Keep in mind he gave me a free birthday lunch after only knowing me for 3 weeks now it seems he wants to order lunch indoors here or there? He's been kind of flirty with me but nothing too bold. I just wanna know is this normal/friendly or is he trying to make a move soon? We’ve ordered lunch together before, but we didn’t sit together and eat, which I don’t understand the purpose.. I don't date conworkers or married men so am I crazy for thinking this ain't normal? He doesn't get lunch with any other woman at work

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I gotta be honest, that situation with the married coworker sounds super sketchy to me. The fact that he's been giving you free birthday lunches after only knowing you for 3 weeks, and now wants to start ordering lunch with just you specifically? Yeah, that doesn't seem like normal, friendly behavior at all.

It definitely seems like he's trying to make some kind of move on you, even if he's not being super bold about it yet. Married men buying single female coworkers random lunches and then trying to get one-on-one time with just you? That's a huge red flag.

I know you said you don't date coworkers or married men, and that's super smart. You gotta protect yourself, girl. This guy is clearly trying to cross some boundaries, even if he's being subtle about it.

My advice would be to shut that down hard. The next time he tries to get you to grab lunch, just politely decline. Make it clear that you're not interested in that kind of relationship, even if it's just as "friends." Hold firm on your boundaries.

And honestly, you might want to consider bringing this up to HR or a supervisor. This guy is playing with fire, and you don't want to get caught in the middle of that drama. Covering your own butt is way more important than protecting his fragile ego.

Don't let him manipulate you or make you feel crazy for thinking this is sketchy. Trust your gut, girl. You know this ain't normal workplace behavior. Stay strong, and don't hesitate to cut him off if he keeps pushing.

You deserve so much better than some shady married dude trying to hit on you at work. Keep being the badass, principled woman that you are. Don't give in to his little games. You've got this!

[Asker]

Thank u. I honestly didn’t wanna assume people are trying to make a move I believe some people are just nice or they our outgoing I’m very introverted so I stayed to myself a lot, especially since working from home for the last couple of years now that I’m back into the workforce I feel like I’m starting over again and I don’t wanna seem like I’m conceited or anything

[Oliverlogan263]

I totally get what you're saying, girl. It can be really hard not to overthink things or assume the worst, especially when you're an introvert and feel like you're starting over at work. You don't want to come across as conceited or make unfair assumptions about people's intentions.

But in this case, your instincts are probably spot on. The married dude's behavior does seem a little sketchy, even if he's being subtle about it. The frequent lunch invites, the free birthday lunch after just knowing you for 3 weeks - that's not the kind of stuff he's probably doing with all his other coworkers.

It's understandable that you want to give him the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to him just being a friendly, outgoing guy. But as a woman, you have to trust your gut on these kinds of things. Your safety and comfort have to come first, even if it means ruffling some feathers.

Don't feel bad about putting up those boundaries and keeping things strictly professional with this dude. You're not being conceited or assuming the worst - you're just looking out for yourself. Guys can't always be trusted, especially when they're married and start getting a little too friendly. Better to err on the side of caution.

I know it's tough starting over at a new job and wanting to make a good impression. But don't let that pressure you into going along with any behavior that makes you uncomfortable. Stay true to yourself, girl. The right people will appreciate and respect that.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome

[spartan55]

He said let's order lunch, not let's go out to lunch. Stop thinking anything a man does means he wants you. It's not that deep.

[Asker]

He’s also mentioned let’s go have a drink at a bar and different things like that and how if I worked at a bar he will also come and hang out with me I didn’t ask for any of this

[spartan55]

So shut that shit down if it makes you uncomfortable. It's really simple. It doesn't matter if he likes you or not, HE IS MARRIED. The only reason this should be a concern for you is if you like him too, which is a whole different issue. Otherwise, if it makes you uncomfortable, put a stop to it.

[Anonymous]

God, in your thirties and clueless. How do you find your way home after work?

[Asker]

Easy I follow the path past ur trailer park