Why doesn't he make a move?

[Anonymous]

i think my friend and I have developed something more we hang out everyday for hours he tries to be on good terms with my best friend he stares at me when we are studying always tries to make me smile gives me messages offers to help me with whatever I need I'm not really sure if he likes me... but the last couple of time we hung out alone he insisted on paying so I'm thinking that's a date? anyway he has done significantly more then I have, and he knows it, but yet he still hasn't made a move we haven't even hugged, except for an awkward hug once, since we meet after summer. I'm not really sure what to think so I just wanted your advice.

[PhantomTT]

If your not sending out signals he's not going to beable to pick up weather you like him or not. I've been in the same boat before. A lot of guys arn't good at picking up signals that girls send. I'll admit I'm not, we're guys.. We're not good at picking up those hints, something that might seem like a signal to you might not even register to him.

It seems to me like he's not quite sure how you feel about him, and he's trying to figure it out. He likes spending time with you and hanging out with you. He doesn't want to make a move and get rejected and have it negatively impact your relationship. Or so it sounds to me.

Alot of guys are worry about this if they're genually interested in a girl. If he's not 100% sure he won't ask you.

I'll give you an example. I liked a girl, we have many of the same intrests and enjoy talking and trading stories. I couldn't tell weather or not she liked me. So I didn't ask her. I didn't want to have it get awkward and and possibly lose the compaionship that I have. He's probably on the same train of thought...

But like Niceguy1080 said its really going to depend on how you feel about the whole situation.

[bubbleboy]

Completely agree. He may be lacking the confidence to tell you upfront or does not want to risk rejection. Chances are that if you like him back and send some noticeable signals, he'll pick it up and perhaps he'll confess then.

[Asker]

That makes sense but on in the same boat I'm scared that maybe I'm reading this all wrong, I like him but I don't want to lose what we have so if we are both thinking the same thing how can I make it clear that I like him without risking everything?

[PhantomTT]

He appears to be trying to make it clear, by helping you, buying you things ie paying for you dates. Your going to have to start flirting or doing things for him. If you do flirt and its well recieved he'll know. But you can't be to cryptic about it or like I said, it might not register to him.

[thisGUYknows]

i stress this to ALL GIRLS. if you like a guy and think he likes you too, don't just stand around and wait for him to do everything. you gotta put in your input. give him special attention. give him the look that lets him know. the more you give the closer he'll get. the shy-er a guy is the more you have to give him.

ps...just because he pays for you its not a date. if I'm hanging out with a girl who's strictly just a friend and we meet for drinks or food, I always foot the bill even though they tell me not to sometimes. its just being a gentleman. girls always love a guy who offers to pay. don't u?

[Asker]

I guess but it just seems like a pointless gesture if you are just friends especially if the girl doesn't mind paying and tries to split the bill. Anyway later on that week when he was jokingly giving me a hard time for how I owed him in front of my friend I stated that I insisted on paying and he asked if I had even been out to "dinner before"

i don't know I might just be reading to much into things

[flower1000]

yes not sure what your thinking ohh bless this is a love story you need to let him know your thinking on these romantic lines if you hang out for hours go sit next to him slowley take his hand look and smile this is all it takes :)

[Niceguy1080]

well if a guy does all that it does mean he likes you. but a guy would never tell a pretty girl he likes her because he don't want to be put down or anything like that. a guy buying you stuff and letting you know he'll help you would mean he wants to get your attention that he's there for you. but ask yourself this, do you like what he is doing for you? and do you like him as well? I can't tell you the answer because the person that is looking for it is you. and you should just stay truthful to yourself. I hope this will help you.

[buzzard]

Sounds very familiar. I was in the same situation for years. If he's the same as me then yes, he likes you but he's just too shy to do anything about it. I've tried for 6 years to make a move with the same girl but I never could. If you want something to happen I suggest you make the move because if he's really like me he will never do it, even if he really likes you. All the hints, flirting, touching, alcohol or almost literally saying you like him won't help if he's as shy and have a inferiority complex as I do.

[Claretica]

Dude it's fair obvious.

Have you made a move/input into the relationship?

Speaking from personal experience here, I may have done all those things which you've said, but I wouldn't make a move until there's at least some input by the female.

So start hugging him or something, even a thing as small as that could give him the little push to make his move.

But correct me if I'm wrong, I don't know the whole situation.

[kidaphon]

Letting the air of uncertainty stand for too long gives others the opportunity to interpose. If neither of those involved escalate things - it will most likely you be stuck in the rut of eternal friendship, nothing more.

[Urbanpunk]

he's just unconfident, I mean yeah he's totally into and he will ask you out, you just gotta prod him a little

[frustratedchump06]

it's not always true that if a guy does not make a move, he is not truly into you

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is shy and taking his time, if you want him to make a move, flirt, touch more, create some tension, try beer etc

[trod199]

He doesn't want to get rejected like most guys dont

[defytraditiongirl]

why don't you make a move?