My crush calls me bro?

[Anonymous]

OK, so added context: in our culture men would have a formal term for women and call them “sisters”. This is because we are religious, so men, including him will refer to other women in the faith as sisters. Only thing is, he calls me bro knowing that I’m a “sister”. He’s this influencer I’ve gotten to know online and is religious, and we talk privately sometimes but I dunno about him calling me bro. How should I feel about it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's an interesting situation boo. I can see why you'd feel a bit confused about him calling you "bro" when the cultural norm is for guys to refer to women as "sisters" in your religious community.

On one hand, it could just be his way of trying to be casual and friendly with you. Calling you "bro" might be his way of trying to build a more casual rapport, even though you're technically supposed to be "sisters." Some guys do that, you know, try to act all casual and cool.

But I can also see how it might feel a little disrespectful, especially since he's an influencer and you two have a more private connection. The fact that he knows the cultural expectations, but still chooses to call you "bro," is kind of weird.

My advice would be to pay attention to the overall vibe and context of your interactions. If he's still being respectful and treating you well, the "bro" thing might just be his way of being friendly. But if it ever feels like he's being dismissive or not taking your relationship seriously, you should definitely address it.

Maybe next time he calls you "bro," you could gently say something like "Hey, I know you usually call the other women 'sisters,' so I was wondering why you call me 'bro'?" See what he says. His response will tell you a lot about his intentions.

At the end of the day, you should feel respected and valued, regardless of the terminology. If the "bro" thing really bothers you, don't be afraid to speak up about it. Your feelings are valid. Just try to get a sense of where he's coming from first before jumping to conclusions. Communication is key here, luv.

[Asker]

I don’t find it disrespectful, it’s clear he’s not saying it maliciously. He says it casually, but we are closer than he is with other viewers. He doesn’t say it to others, even when he’s picking on trolls he’ll be like “Sister, I think you’re a bit tapped in the head”, but with me he always says bro, for example “you should have more faith in me bro” or “my guy though”. I’ve only seen him use these terms with other men… and then just me.

[Asker]

He said my guy once though, and that was recently, like the last DM convo we had, but he’s called me bro many times

[Oliverlogan263]

Ooh, okay, that context definitely changes things a bit. The way you're describing it, it sounds like he's using the "bro" term with you in a much more casual, affectionate way compared to how he refers to others.

The fact that he's not using it with his other viewers, and reserves it just for you, suggests it's more of an inside joke or term of endearment between the two of you. And the recent "my guy" reference is even more evidence that he sees you as someone special.

If he's not using these casual guy terms with anyone else, but specifically saves them for you, then it doesn't come across as disrespectful at all. It sounds like he's just trying to be more playful and personable with you, since you two seem to have a closer connection.

The "bro" and "my guy" stuff is probably his way of showing you that comfort and familiarity, you know? He's not being stuffy or formal, he's embracing more of a friendly, brotherly vibe.

As long as the overall tone feels genuine and caring, and not at all condescending or demeaning, I wouldn't worry too much about the terminology. He's clearly making an effort to be casual and endearing with you, which isn't a bad thing at all.

Just enjoy the special connection you two seem to share. The fact that he reserves those fun, playful nicknames just for you is pretty darn cute, girl. Keep letting that bond grow - it sounds like a really cool, unique dynamic.

[Oliverlogan263]

But my opinion tho is i wouldn’t call or refer a woman I’m into or just a friend “bro” or my guy. That’s just me but I don’t think guys should call girls that. Now I would say bro, bruh, or dude to a guy cause we’re men and how we speak to each other but I don’t speak that way with girls. I usually say other sweet names to say to a girl and not things like bro. That’s just how this guy is and other guys is too to refer girls that way.

[Asker]

He does say it to other men but not other women, I’m the only woman so far from what I’ve seen.

[Asker]

Well we are religious and some people who watch him criticise him too and it’s frowned upon to be obviously flirtatious so that could have something to do with it too, and he did used to follow me and was flirtatious but I didn’t give in to it as I don’t believe just flirting with guys is good unless they want it to actually go somewhere. He has since unfollowed but he still responds to my messages and speaks to me as normal on lives, plus he even seems to follow and unfollow his most loyal viewer, who is a guy so I don’t think that’s his way of showing respect, but yeah. He hasn’t been flirtatious recently but we still have a somewhat closer relationship, he did call me bro before he sent me any DMs privately but this is the first time he’s said it privately too in the DMs. I guess time will tell to see if I’m actually brother zoned

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a really complex situation you've got going on there, girl. It's cool that you have this connection with this religious influencer dude, but it definitely sounds like there's a lot of nuance and potential subtext to how he's interacting with you.

The fact that he uses the "bro" and "my guy" terms specifically with you, and not with other female viewers, is definitely interesting. Especially given the religious context where he'd normally use more formal language like "sister" for women.

And you're right, the fact that he used to be more flirtatious but has since dialed that back is telling. Sounds like he's trying to walk a line and maintain some boundaries, likely because of the potential backlash from his more conservative viewers.

It's tough to say for sure, but it does kind of seem like he might be putting you in a bit of a "brother zone" situation. The casual, familiar language is his way of keeping things friendly and not overly romantic or sexual, even though you have this closer rapport.

My advice would be to just keep being yourself and see how things evolve over time. Don't be afraid to gently address the language thing if it ever starts to truly bother you. But for now, just enjoy the connection you have and don't overthink it too much, you know?

At the end of the day, you deserve to feel valued and respected. If this guy ever crosses a line or makes you deeply uncomfortable, don't hesitate to set some boundaries. But it sounds like he's trying to navigate this delicately, so give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

Wishing you all the best, girl! Keep being awesome, and don't settle for anything less than you deserve.

[Asker]

Thank you. He’s definitely not doing it disrespectfully but yeah, it does make me feel a bit like a “bro” but I just don’t know if I’m reading too much into it and he’s just saying it to highlight that there’s a sense of closeness there… I don't know. I just hope I’m not brother zoned cuz I really don’t want be.

[Oliverlogan263]

I totally get why you'd feel a bit conflicted about the whole "bro" thing, sis. Even though it doesn't seem like he's using it disrespectfully, it can still feel a little weird to be called that when you're a girl, you know?

I can see how it might make you feel a bit "brother-zoned" or like he doesn't see you in a romantic way. That's gotta be tough, especially if you've got feelings for the guy.

But you also make a really good point - maybe he's just using it to show that sense of closeness and comfort in your relationship, without necessarily meaning anything more by it. Dudes can be pretty casual with that kind of language, even with girls they're into.

Honestly, it's hard to say for sure what his intentions are. The best thing you can do is just keep being your awesome self around him and see how things develop naturally. Don't overthink it too much or try to force anything.

If it turns out you are getting brother-zoned, that would suck. But at least you'll know where you stand and can move on. And if there ends up being potential for something more, then great! Just go with the flow and see what happens.

Either way, try not to stress about it too much, sis. You've got a cool connection with this guy, which is awesome. Focus on nurturing that friendship and enjoying your time together. The rest will figure itself out in time. You got this!

[ProbablyClueless]

Sounds extremely casual. He probably sees you only platonically. I can't say for sure without knowing more about your culture.

[Asker]

We are Muslim and it’s common for Muslims of the opposite gender to call each other as “brother” or “sister” when talking to them

[Asker]

He does the same and calls other females by “sisters” but calls me “bro” instead

[ProbablyClueless]

Yeah, then I'd say he probably sees you platonically. "Bro" is a super common expression

[Asker]

Well that sucks.

[Asker]

Recently he called me “my guy” as well 😭, I’ve never heard him say these things to women before. It’s only me

[ProbablyClueless]

This is someone you only know online, right? Interactions like that can be rather sterile.

[Asker]

Correct, but he’s reached out to me for advice before and we do talk every now and then in private so we do have some sort of relationship between each other… even if it’s not overly close. I regularly go on his live streams. Plus he kind of does use social media to look for a wife. He’s admitted it before

[ProbablyClueless]

Is he British? I know a lot of British guys use "bro" a lot.

[Asker]

Haha yeah we are all British. His city is under 2 hours away from mine. But still, I’ve never heard him say these terms for other women, he usually says “sister”, even if he is mocking them sometimes if they leave silly comments

[beefcakebradybatson]

I don't call chicks "sisters" because if they're hot, I want to brand them !!!

[Asker]

So you call them bro instead? Lol