Boyfriend doesn't like it when I call him bro?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are in a new relationship and I say bro a lot. I can't help it because I picked it up from some where and i've been saying it. He says its disrespectful that I keep calling him bro but I don't understand how. I called him bro when we first met and have been calling him that ever since and it hasn't become a problem until now that we're actually together. He is just mean about it. I tried to explain and tell him that i call everybody bro and he flips it on me and say "so I'm everybody?" and it just makes it harder for me to explain myself. I have a bad habit of saying it. When I say it he gets irritated. he told me with a hostile tone in his voice "I'm your man , not your bro. I'm your boyfriend, not your bro." but obviously when I say bro I don't mean that he is literally my brother or anything. I'm just saying it like dude or whatever. I don't see how this is disrespectful and I won't stop because I don't see how its a bad thing. whats the big deal? The word is just in my vocabulary and I call everyone that. how is this disrespectful guys?

[Anonymous]

"I won't stop because I don't see how its a bad thing."

That, right there, is the problem.

Even if you don't see it as disrespectful, he clearly does. You saying that you won't stop tells me that you don't care about how it feels, to him. That IS disrespectful.

He is taking the word "bro" to suggest that you treat him just like any other friend. It tells him that you don't see your relationship as different than any other, even though his is your boyfriend.

That, coupled with the fact that you don't care enough about how it makes him feel to even consider stopping, kind of suggests that he is right. You don't seem to care that much about the relationship.

[Asker]

I could stop but I just don't understand what the big deal is about the word. I do care a lot about the relationship but I just find this petty. help me understand why this bothers him. I don't get it and I think its petty

[Asker]

I just felt like he is trying to change me

[Opinion Owner]

I already did explain...

He doesn't like it, specifically because you DO call everyone that. As your boyfriend, he feels that he should have more significance to you. Calling him the same thing that you call everyone else, tells him that you seem him the same as everyone else, and that bothers him.

He doesn't want to be everyone else. He doesn't want to "share" a nickname. He wants to feel that you see him as unique, because he is your only boyfriend. Calling him "bro", and then calling everyone else "bro", shows him that he's not special to you.

[Opinion Owner]

He's not trying to change you. He just doesn't like being called "bro".

[HotDogg]

Everything he's saying is true. Try not to take offense, and listen... or else your new relationship will get old really fast, bro.

[Asker]

@HotDogg so he wants to feel special? ok I can understand that. I still don't think its a big deal tho

[HotDogg]

Of course he wants to feel special... and he wants that from YOU, so it's a win win if you do make him feel that way.

[Vyxzuw]

It doesn't matter if it's for a petty reason, it bothers him.
That should be enough for you to care to stop.

I'm sure there will be times when you have what he considers to be 'irrational' things that you want him to do, and you will expect him to respect you enough to do them. It's the same thing.

[Asker]

He calls me bro and dawg so I don't see what the big woop is

[Vyxzuw]

It's an insecurity he has, it doesn't have to make sense.

Although him calling you bro is weird.

[Changiis07]

I can see how it can be dsrespectuful and how he did not think about it too much or it did not bother him in the beginning because he thought it was whatever. But now that you are in a relationship and he doesn't like it because it's true bro is like you are treating him as a friend and not a boyfriend. I think if he asked you to not call him that you should respect it. What if he called you something you did not like wouldn't you want him to stop calling you that? Put yourself in his shoes...

[Annabreexoxo1991]

Because calling him that is like you guys are just friends and which is making him mad. Shit if my man called me that I would be mad to,

[Asker]

I have friend zoned him several times in the past. I just thought we weren't gonna work out.

[FinalFantasyBro]

I honestly with him, I wouldn't like it.