Guys, what makes you uncomfortable when women hit on you?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I suppose if it's too intimate, too quickly.

I think massages are a bit too much - no matter who is doing it. Violating my personal space, when we haven't gotten to a point where it's normal...

There was a girl at a former job who would harass me "for a joke." (way before the "me too" movement) Going to anyone didn't work. Got laughed off. All the stuff was uncomfortable. It wasn't so funny.

If I'm interested, and a woman and I are on date #3 or 4, a whisper is great flirting. If I don't know or trust you, don't get right in my ear.

Jumping into my arms and wrapping her legs around me; I mean, only one girl has done that, and we had been dating for a few weeks. Even when my balance was good, and I was benching 100 something pounds, it caught me by surprise, and I half stumbled for a second.

To me, that's a very "girlfriend" move (I'm kluzty enough to fall (and drop her in the process)). It was ok, except it was in public (a little awkward), and she just kind of tackled and jumped; nearly knocked me over. I had to really brace us to not accidentally drop.

I had a guy friend whose supposedly "platonic" girl friend did that. He was working, she screamed, ran, jumped the counter and wrapped her arms and legs around him. I kind of asked when she had left... "Oh no, she's a friend." (Well, she's VERY friendly!). "Are you SURE she doesn't want more?" "No, we're just good friends." "Dude, I promise you... and don't be disappointed... but... friend or not... I'm not going to do that with you." "I'm ok with that."

molonski2 · Accepted Answer

Obviously moreso when I was vastly younger , I was hit on all the time , and sometimes it was very very forward , I never felt uncomfortable with it , even if I was not interested , I found the super forward stuff the most difficult however , because it made it really difficult to act upon , as a teen 18/ 19 - me , I had this little fan club , but they were like teenies , I was not remotely interested , I was a girl at least 17 , but I looked so stupid young , that's why they went for me.

As an adult 20's , thing became much better , as obviously the girls had become smarter , and that was a great time , same 30's to early 40s..

So I'd say never uncomfortable so much , a little embarrassing sometimes , possibly the worst part was a stack of young guys hated all the attention I used to get , and would accuse me of stuff that never happened.

So , I always say , keep it obvious ( guys are often not that smart ) and have a way in which they can easily act on the approach , don't make it too cringey.

alice55 · Accepted Answer

The only things that made it uncomfortable to them is if the woman is ugly or overweight...

Ms_Facesitter · Accepted Answer

Try to replicate the smile from the horror movie Smile. I'm sure it's pretty effective.

DannyUk2017 · Answer

The "fear" of Not knowing if they are Geniune or Not, if they Really want me, or just want to "see" my reaction! 🤷‍♂️

blueonblack22 · Answer

The absolute worst is when they do it disingenuous purposes:

to make someone else the really like jealous.
they after something else besides sex (money, favors).
it’s a shit test to see if I’m “needy”. If I act too jumpy then they will reject. Women really do this crap sometimes and it’s horrible.
they do it for a “power trip”. Like to see the excited, nervous and/or horny look in my face.

Now most of the above is young women’s bs. But not always. There are grown women who do this crap too.

Lynx122 · Answer

It's kinda hard for me to know how to react sometimes. I only express emotions when I'm truly feeling them and when I'm not then it's hard for me to react in a way that is not mean but also not fake so sometimes I just sit there like thinking about what I wanna say and then later I feel bad for how I handled it. But I also think it's a positive thing in some ways that I'm genuine and authentic even in situations where most people are not.

But sometimes I do think it must be nice to always be smooth even in difficult situations, I don't know how people do it.

Most women have not crossed the line.

One time there was a woman at a youth hostel I was staying at she basically stalked me for a week whenever I was not in my room she would find me and not leave me alone. It was exhausting. She even invited me to stay in a holiday home in the alps. I was like no I need to get my life together.

ohsheeT · Answer

I think I've only been uncomfortable two times and that was because I really wasn't into them
but they were learning experiences because they were touching me in places or trying to and places where I didn't want to be touched I didn't want to be touched

And the way that they were talking to me

And they were both just absolutely rude so I felt exactly what a girl has to go through sometimes and I think it's b*******

I think that's one of the reasons why I'm so protective of girls even strangers I don't care who it is

I could say a lot more about it but I'm not going to I think it's just uncalled for

But those were the only two times that I not only felt uncomfortable but it pissed me off and one was at my house and I had to tell her to leave the other I was someplace else and I just got up and left

Holsen · Answer

Personally I don’t like pushy girls in a toxic way like being too attached or being forcefully intrested or laughing while we talk or casually literally bumping etc; but honestly in a girl toxic or not the one thing I would say annoys me the most or like it would be an instant doorslam would be when a girl thinks she can use you or thinks she’s got you totally under her web or like tries to make use of stereotypical “weaknesses” ;but aside from these it would be uncomfortable if the girl feels too cold like you can’t find an opening to start something or being too judgmental or having expectations of you or an event thus being unnatural about it

Orion84 · Answer

Anything that would be inappropriate, so probably not much different than when guys make women uncomfortable.

Touching without permission, not taking "no" for an answer, any vulgar or rude comments, being overly aggressive, the woman being an inappropriate age.

playboxidroid · Answer

The fact that I have to figure out if she's just "shit testing" me or is just doing a social experiment. This is very common to us guys that when a woman asks a man out on a date, he's still required to pay even if the woman offers. Because the latter is just actually testing him to see if he would be wishy-washy, he would actually allow her to pay. If a man does allow her to pay, she'll start to resent it, therefore it isn't genuine.

I just wish that women would actually be genuine if they would offer to treat a man out on dates. But it seems that a man is required to read minds I guess.

Texaskid1 · Answer

1. If she is fat and or ugly. I have had a number of ugly women hit on me. I hard ignore. ( I have also had attractive women hit on me although they are not used to be ignored!!)

2. If she is a supervisor. I did have some female supervisors hit on me some years ago and I admit that I did think about smashing (both were hot) and I think if I pursued I could of... but I am smart enough to not shit shit on my paycheck. I had to hard ignore and make like a duck when around them. But damn... it was a fine fantasy though.

mobiusforniner · Answer

When they know that I’m married and still hit on me anyway. I’ve gotten hit on more as a married guy than my entire single life. It feels awkward because it feels they’re looking to seduce and tempt which reduces me to a mindless dick thinking drone.

Garud · Answer

A girl was sitting next to me in the metro, and the coach was 90% empty
I looked at her but she didn't
I was confused as to why she was sitting next to me and not trying to break the ice or giving any hints as to whether I should break the ice or not
that made my thoughts running, putting my mind out of my comfort zone

art84 · Answer

There was one time when I was 22 years old and this girl was about 17 years old. We were sitting in a van behind the driver's and passengers seat. We were on a trip with our church going to Galveston Texas. I notice the girl had her hand on my leg and was making a move for my groin. Luckily the driver saw in the rear view mirror and saw what she was doing. The girl quickly moved her and hand to sit with her friend when we stopped. I wouldn't like being touched anywhere on my body without permission just makes me feel uneasy and awkward.

BeetleBro2000 · Answer

I don't like when women flirt subtly. I have a hard enough time noticing when a man does it, and I don't like being on the dark side of irony. If a woman decides to hit on me, I wish she would make herself clear so that I can politely decline and end the situation.

Summeroflove · Answer

Depends on the woman, depends on where it’s at, and depends on what she’s doing, also depends on if I’m single at the time.

As long as she isn’t being inappropriate or being unnecessarily touchy or cannot take no for a answer. It’s fine

ManOnFire · Answer

It would be beating around the bush and trying to lightly suggest "we could" do this or that, or eat at this place or that "some time." Just be honest and up front and say "Would you be interested in (such and such)?" It would make things a lot easier for yourself even if you fear rejection.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

If they're fugly and/or old. At 21, a rather unremarkable-looking 49-year-old woman was so smitten she chased me into the London, Ont., Greyhound Bus Station boys' room, telling me about her hysterectomy, as if to tell me she wouldn't get pregnant if I branded her, which would have never happened because I wasn't into older broads.

DaddyDiablo · Answer

The fact that they making me feel a little fucked up with whatever it is theyve said cuz it obviously worked and my future attempts aren't as brave and bold as the women who were hitting on me like it's not really uncomfortable its just shocking that I got some fine ass honey to shoot her well shot shot

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Just recently went out with friends I hadn't seen in a year. Don't go to bars that much any more and I forget because I will chat with strangers people assume that means more than just being sociable.

I was talking to a few women waiting for my friends at the bar and one was very aggressive and touchy feely. It comes off really weird to me because if roles were reversed I'd be kicked out of the bar and rightfully so.

zagor · Answer

If they seem a bit crazy. I was in Montreal once and I gave a woman a Loonie (Canadian dollar) for a parking meter after she asked me. Turns out she was a bit of one as well. She started telling me about men forcing her to make porn, and then asked if I was single. She seemed downcast when I bid her goodbye and walked away.

Pohjolan · Answer

It would be a bit surprising as I have only witnessed it once before.

So its a bit like seeing a rare animal.

If we are talking about women actually hitting on someone.

Some women have for some reason gotten the idea that that which was normal socializing before Corona is now hitting on someone while ignoring other women who behave as they do casually.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I don't know but that would have to be one strange woman.  I guess it's not really fun when a girl is just totally shitfaced and very obviously coming onto you... As in loudly.

RavVid · Answer

If she is unattractive to you it is awkward. If it is in the company of others it is also awkward to me. I might be getting a clear signal from her but I might not want to be so overt with others around.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

"Just the fax ma'am, just the fax."  - John McClane, Die Hard 2

slippery2000 · Answer

The truth is I make myself uncomfortable because I automatically assume that it's a joke or that she's trying to butter me up to accomplish gaining something from me for her own benefit.

TDDMS · Answer

My default position is that when an American woman is hitting on me she has zero interest in me. And her flirtations are just her toying with me or trying to humiliate me in front of her friends.

SuchSightsToShowYou · Answer

Honestly, for most guys, it happens so seldom that when it does happen, it's weird and disorienting. I guess women drop hints sometimes, but for the most part guys don't pick up on those hints.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I'm expected to know how to respond when I don't know anything about her personality, hobbies, etc, or if she's clean or not infection wise. Why do so many of them flirt so damn early?

Finchie40 · Answer

I am only uncomfortable if I am not attracted to her , but if I am attracted to her I am all about it

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

Nothing. I enjoy it. It switches me into my comfortable, happy mode. Maybe being relaxed while flirting is part of what makes me charming?

lorenzomichael · Answer

When there persistent after you showed no interest in them.

Bricealan · Answer

@the29thhuman I have to confess that I have often been too 'thick' or naive to even recognize that a woman was interested in me.

Unit1 · Answer

When she's an ugly hag. Or she's yandere.

animesenpai · Answer

Because i am so starved for genuine affection and interest i don't know owners what to do when I get it

dragoblack · Answer

I'm honestly not used to it. Usually women have no interest in me romantically whatsoever. Like many uncommon interactions, it's uncomfortable and takes the brain a bit to process. But like many moments of flirting, timing is everything.

HawkPerception · Answer

@dannyuk2017 and @blueonblack22 explained my opinion well enough.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I'll let you know if it ever happens. Most of the "hitting on" came from married women.

Joshua_H_1010011001 · Answer

Lol... Never happens. Stop making stuff up 🤣

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Either lack of subtlety or when she doesn't even know who's the target.

Anonymous · Answer

It's just weird most women don't do that. Her approaching and putting you in a feminine role makes me feel like she thinks I'm some bitch or something. I am not into boss women.

msc545 · Answer

I think that they are insincere and simply being manipulative. I am concerned that any encounter with them will result in a false accusation of some sort of sexual misconduct on my part.

CuriousMoonFox · Answer

If the hitting occurs around other people who can hear and see the interaction.

Yannae · Answer

Too much touching and interrogating questions. Trying to sneak a picture of me.

worldscolide · Answer

If a woman hits on me it definitely makes me uncomfortable, considering I always wear my wedding band.

Adel50 · Answer

How to express my disinterest. I wouldn't want it to come out rude.

Crazzyyworld · Answer

He is about to get raped instead of he raping her

Petermorgan343434 · Answer

The fact I'm in a relationship already 😂. In all seriousness it’s the same reasons a woman may have. We live in an age where both genders are scared to flirt with one another.

MechanicMan1972 · Answer

1. To know that she's married or not single.  2. To know that she's only interested in sex, nothing more. 3. To know that she has no interest at all in knowing or accepting Jesus Christ.

Pudsmucker · Answer

The only time a woman makes me feel uncomfortable is when she is wearing a very low cut top and starts to flirt with me.

Nifrayu · Answer

When they don't take the hint that I'm not interested. I don't mind being hit on, but when I show no interest, they should stop.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Nothing. If I am not interested, I just let them down easily.

Rangers · Answer

The fact that I know, damn well, it's an escort looking for business No thanks

genericname85 · Answer

if she's doing it in a loud and attention seeking way in public.

Xoirwinkan · Answer

Well one time a girl I vaguely knew just kissed me on the lips out of nowhere, she just assumed I'd be into it, which I wasn't.

grega239 · Answer

The fact that they talk to me is uncomfortable because i assume she just wants a favor or something like that.

lightbulb27 · Answer

my own insecurities

Juxtapose · Answer

Not much lol. Just don't smell bad or do illegal shit.

Ballinbmac01 · Answer

I’m only uncomfortable if I’m totally not attracted to you.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Knowing that she doesn't really mean it. That she'll change her mind later and break my heart.

Anonymous · Answer

As a high-value male, this happens quite often and I’m constantly having to deflect attention from females. It only gets uncomfortable when she tries to make physical contact with me.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Nothing, unless I'm already on a date with another lady.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

If she's physically unappealing and touching me I don't like it.

Guys, what makes you uncomfortable when women hit on you?

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Guys, what makes you uncomfortable when women hit on you?

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