“How can I tell if a guy is using a fake account to interact with me, or if it’s just a coincidence?”?

[Anonymous]

I created a private Instagram account where I posed as a trans woman and followed a guy I had previously tried to interact with on my regular account. He didn’t respond, so I unfollowed him. About a week or two later, I received a follow request from a new account, and I sent him a DM. After that, he quickly blocked me.

I’m wondering if this could be the same guy using a fake account to discreetly interact with me, since I’ve noticed he follows a trans woman I know personally (my cousin). My account is private, and I don’t have much content posted, so I’m not sure if he recognized me or if it’s a coincidence.

What do you think? Could he be using a fake account, or is this just random behavior? Why would he block me after I sent the DM?

This version should now reflect the situation more accurately. Let me know if you’d like to tweak anything!

Yes

No

Maybe

[Anonymous]

Pro tip: don't ask questions that the catfish profile wouldn't ask. You obviously gave away that you're a fake (if not catfish then he thinks you're a bot or scammer, that's that's he blocked you).

A trans woman isn't gonna ask if he's bi, especially if he already knows she's trans. What would be the point?

[Asker]

True…. I was so close… what an idiot

[Asker]

So do you think that was him?

[Opinion Owner]

Instagram is huge could've been anyone.

[Asker]

No it was twitter….

[Asker]

Just a back story….

I had followed him and reached out to him on his page… he did nothing I just unfollowed him afree awhile after a week or so that’s when I got this follow…. And then I sent the dm.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh well Twitter is also huge. Was this the only two profiles you interacted with? No other follow or followings, or posts likes or anything?

[Asker]

The page I have is private….. but I did have one or two DL guys request to follow me but something about that page makes me feel it might be him.. but his number etc isn’t associated with that account

[Opinion Owner]

I can't help with that I don't even know the guy, sorry.

[Asker]

If you had to choose

[Opinion Owner]

Choose what?

[Asker]

If you think it could be him or not

[Opinion Owner]

No I don't think it was him

[Asker]

How do you know…? I’m sorry I just have ocd and I’m trying not to investigate this because ik I’ll get in trouble but I feel so terrible about myself

[Opinion Owner]

If it was him he would've followed you with his main account. You said he already follows a trans woman on that account, so he has no reason to make a fake account for it.

[Asker]

That’s a good point… but maybe he did because he thought it was me?

But when I met him on twitter he used a fake name “Craig” and he’s Nigerian…

Maybe he just knew it was me I don't know … but that’s a good point…

On tinder I found out his preferences were set to non binary and women….

[Opinion Owner]

If he thought it was you from the start then he wouldn't have followed you. You're the one stalking him, not the other way around, remember?

It's not uncommon for people with names that can be difficult for English speakers to go by an "English" or "American" name sometimes, and Twitter is largely in English. Maybe Craig was just his English name. Either way even if he was going by a fake name when you met, I assume it was still his main Twitter account. So it still stands that he wouldn't need to create a fake account.

[Opinion Owner]

Thats another good point also, his Tinder preferences do not hide his willing to interact with non-cis people. So that's more reason he wouldn't need a fake account for following a trans woman.

[Asker]

No he has his real name on twitter but on tinder it was fake…

But he hid his preferences… I deleted my tinder and made another one using non binary and his profile popped up… so I assumed that he talks to non binary and women

[Asker]

I put that I was non binary as my gender/pronoun

[Opinion Owner]

Again you are stalking him, he is not trying to interact with you. And he follows trans woman on his main account. So it was not him.

[Asker]

So does this mean he’s gay?

But I didn’t know… I feel like it’s not fair to pose as a straight man when you’re not..

[Opinion Owner]

Why would he be gay?

[Asker]

Because i don’t think I understand why he would be talking to non binary individuals… it makes me feel that he could be sleeping with men who don’t identify as men

[Opinion Owner]

There's only 2 possible reasons he is talking to non-binary people. 1: he likes both women and non-binary people (this does not mean he likes men). 2: he thinks non-binary people are just women with short hair (this also does not mean he likes men).

[Asker]

Yeah but if he likes transwomen…. I think he's possibly closeted … i do think he sleeps or wants to be with trans women…

I personally dont feel that he is 100 percent straight … I don't know..

Why would he want a bi woman or a woman that could have both masculine and femme traits….

[Opinion Owner]

Why would him wanting to sleep with a trans woman or bi woman make him closeted or not 100 percent straight? What kind of woman doesn't have any masculine traits at all? That seems like a strange standard for being 100% straight. What if a woman got a short haircut, would she then be masculine? Would any man who is interested in her be gay? I don't understand what is concerning to you about his behavior.

[Asker]

I feel depressed.. like I borderline don’t want to live…. I liked him so much I feel played but he’s possibly attracted to my trans cousin (I posed as my trans cousin)

I feel so less than so worthless…

I feel that it was him… I feel that he was trying to be discreet as possible and wanted to reconnect in a more discreet way…

I feel that he really put the opposite persona on that profile… to hide

I feel that he wanted to make sure it wasn’t me and needed to put in more effort to hide his identity

He followed me a week or so after…I unfollowed him.

Then him blocking me… I felt that was a dead giveaway… like he knew it was me

Maybe he was genuinely trying to get to know “her” if that was him

[Opinion Owner]

A man likes your cousin and tried to use you just to get closer to her. That sucks, but it's not the end of the world. If you really feel that way you should contact someone who can help you. Call a hotline for the country you live, or visit www.google.com/.../&ved=2ahUKEwjPwM6c37WKAxUtSTABHR3GPf0QFnoECBcQAQ&sqi=2&usg=AOvVaw0YR1xMBmusevudWTTQ7x_x

Do you have a good relationship with your cousin? Could you talk to her about this like ask if he has tries to approach her, and warn her that he is the kind of man that manipulates and uses women? This could not only prevent him from hurting more people, it could also prevent him from getting what he wants out of using you so his whole dumb game will have been useless for him.

[Asker]

Do you still think it could be him?

[Opinion Owner]

No I don't.

[Asker]

I just posed as my trans cousin to see if he would be attracted to her… but I feel like his following patterns are the same… he follows and unfollows… idk… I’m trying not to overthink it I just wish I was enough for him

[Opinion Owner]

Even if he did want to date you, would you really want to date a man who is willing to use and manipulate women to get what he wants?

[Asker]

No… I don’t know if he did or just didn’t like me its a long story… it’s been a year since we last spoke

[Opinion Owner]

Do you even like him? It's been a year and he hasn't tried to contact you again, i don't think he will. So it doesn't seem worth any of this effort to be investigating like this. It's not like you could change who you are as a person to become someone he would like anyway, so why try to figure out what kind of person he wants?

[Asker]

It’s hard to explain and I understand what you’re saying… I just feel that he left a permanent emotional scar on me that’s been hard to heal.

I struggle with mental health such as depression, low self esteem and ocd… when we first started talking I told him that I knew I wasn’t in the right place and I told him that I was willing to be a placeholder until he found someone else…

I told him I needed to protect my emotional and mental wellbeing but I was willing to talk to him.. no sex, casual, etc..

But he was different… he wanted to know what was the safest way to talk to me and he said he didn’t want the placeholder situation because he said he didn’t want to end up liking me for nothing…

I tried pushing him away

[spartan55]

And the fable grows... so now the trans person he follows is your cousin? You should be able to clear all this up easily then. Funny you never mentioned that before...

[Asker]

No idiot I’m posing as my trans cousin. Even worse

[spartan55]

Yeah, I'm the idiot. You didn't word it that way at all, but whatever. Nevermind what YOU are doing. So what is your big plan, what's your big AHA moment going to look like?

[Asker]

I don’t know

[spartan55]

Yeah, what could possibly go wrong here?

[nawtee_me]

Deceiving others and pretending to be someone you are not is childish. Relationships are built on trust and the only trust you have is trust issues….

[Anonymous]

So you are both fakes?

[Asker]

That wasn’t the question.. I need proof that he’s dl

[Anonymous]

Make a fake account and contact him.

[Asker]

Do you think it’s him? I am the fake account

[Opinion Owner]

No idea