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I am a normal looking girl and I have a friend who is so pretty. I am in a relatioship and it,s all good. But she is so gorgeous an like NO LUCK with the guys..he meets a lot of guys..but seems liek they all want one thing from her. The thing is that the girl is not only pretty BUT smart since he has rreally high grades in college,. Can someone help me understand that phenomen..
I don't have a hard and fast answer for you, but I can tell you my experiences and perhaps it can help you painting your picture?
First off, I don't really know that I am the best guy. I have my strengths and in general most people I know seem to be impressed with me and think I'm great. But I don't typically have relationships over a year, or the connections I have over a year are more long distance or once-in-a-while/long term lovers that I don't see every day. But enough about me, let's talk about pretty girls.
I have met a lot of beautiful women in my life, and I'm pretty straightforward about my interest. But there seems to be a phenomenon or something that doesn't click too well with the most physically beautiful of women. For different reasons, there have been more "red flags" early on in the interactions that turned me off and caused me to stop pursuing them. Though I might have a "confirmation bias" or something by labeling them as the most beautiful and marking the experience in my memory. What I'm saying is perhaps it also happens with average-looking girls as well, but because they are not as memorable, I don't mark it as significant in my memory.
A few examples:
One gorgeous woman was shy with me and she had just had her heart broken, so I understood. We ended up sleeping together after a while, but I think her heart hadn't healed and she was scared to care and so she "ran away".
Another one I was hanging out with and developing sexual tension with. We ended up sleeping together and before we did she made a point to say "we shouldn't sleep together, you'll get all weird afterwards and awkward." I promised I wouldn't and we had sex. Afterwards, any time I tried to talk to her, she acted very awkward. I think she was the one with the issue, but "projected" it on to others (me).
A gorgeous girl who broke up with her boyfriend approached me saying she had always found me attractive but never acted on it bc she was attached. I started dating her, and we messed around but there was something in our chemistry I didn't really get as turned on by her as I would expect. It was a mystery to me, as she "looked good on paper": smart, fun, beautiful, ambitious and outgoing.
A few other really beautiful women I've approached acted shy and weird/awkward, which I took to mean maybe they weren't interested in me. When that happens, I lose interest, as one of the things that turns me on is when a woman is into me, and when she isn't, it turns me off. This might be a clue for your friend, if she acts awkward or demure at all. If the guy is turned on by nonconsensual signals, then that might mean he is the type to keep pushing and doesn't care about what she wants, only what he wants, and maybe he even gets turned on by forcing what he wants on an unwilling/nonconsenting person. Perhaps it is even her beauty that "inspires" some men to push past those signals and force their desires?
Another thing with some beautiful women is what I've heard referred to as something of a "bitch shield". That is, because she is so beautiful, she gets more men approaching her. As a reaction, she gets tougher and unkind or unwelcoming to men who approach. It's only those who are persistent to get past that initial defense system that get to know her. For me, I don't usually try to "push past the bitch shield". If someone acts rude to me from the initial moment we meet, they can consider their shield a success, because I will quickly leave them alone and go find someone pleasant to talk to. But the reward they will get is those jerks who don't care what she wants and are "only looking for one thing" as you put it. They don't care about her personality, so if she is rude it won't matter to them. They will "push past" because their goal isn't a pleasant person to talk to.
I will give one final example before I go, of a woman who had a bit of that rude exterior to her, and also some of the heartbroken and mistrust factor, but we ended up having a wonderfully intimate relationship anyway and in fact those issues just prolonged how long it took us to finally sleep together and added to the sexual tension so that it was exceptionally satisfying when we finally hooked up. But that situation happened because of a couple factors. One was that we had some really intense sexual chemistry we were both keenly aware of. The other was that we were somewhat forced together by the environment of playing lead roles opposite each other in multiple small town productions. There were many times when I told myself she could kick rocks and I wouldn't have anything to do with her, but then we would find ourselves face to face again and it was unavoidable.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/2uihO_zOHFw
I suspect your friend isn't telling you the whole story.
Most girls who are pretty and smart tend to be emotionally unstable around guys. It's an evolutionary fact, for whatever reason.
I wish someone would explain that "phenomenon" to me...
Why pretty girls get played so much?
1. Most guys value looks yet at the same time devalue the character of those who have it.
While most want an attractive partner most also have an negative view of attractive people. So take that notion you have a perception that she's a b*tch, slut, stuck, high maintenance most likely so the only thing of value of her is her looks.
The guys who mainly approach would be ones who see nothing worth in her except sex or trophy. While girls are used to guys just wanting sex pretty girls get this with guys who are usually of worse character.
2. Most guys are insecure and lack confidence & self esteem so they fear rejection and approaching. This fear is intensified if she's attractive. While you would think guys who know her character would have less fear in most cases they have more.
The eleveated fear keeps so guys who may want more away. Keyword...may...just because they are afraid to approach her doesn't mean they wanted more from her than the guys who did approach her.
Some girls have this notion that the guy who doesn't approach would care more about her. Not really he just fears rejection more.
^ This advice was berated at until one girl who had without provocation insulted me for that advice came chatting about how she went with the guys advice that the guy who doesn't approach usually cares more and got pumped & dumped
I lol and chose then to insult her back & got blocked by her.. LMAO XD
3. Pretty girls often think there is nothing wrong with them wanting an attractive partner or an equally attractive partner since the guys who approach her or want to also want an attractive partner and usually it's a more attractive partner.
Most girls will have to sacrifice attraction/looks for personalityor a good relationship. Most have an aversion to dating another who is vastly less attractive than themselves or who they don't find attractive.
While as a pretty girl I've never had trouble finding at a moment's notice an attractive guy with a good personality. Most girl have experiences where the attractive guys are the ones who are looking for fun or have awful personalities because they don't need to be nice since they have looks.
This is a very good question :)
Well, I see a lot of questions here like "Why pretty girls have it easier?", "Why beautiful girls attract guys easier?" etc...and honestly, I don't believe in that theory.
Ofcourse, many pretty girls attract guy, but the question is: Are they really good men? Usually not. In most cases, they are just jerks, players, etc...
Your question is why? There are two types of pretty girls: one with a brain and the one is shallow. The shallow girls are easily played because all what they target is looks or money or cars or whatever. So, they tend to focus on trivial things missing out the important things like a guy's character, morals, etc...
Pretty girls with brains and a good attitude intimidate the good men. Who has the courage to approach? A fearless jerk.
She just meets the wrong type of guys or presents herself in an 'easy' manner
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9Opinion
The women who get "played" have an incorrect understanding of sex in relationships. They were raised badly and imaging that their sexual favors are somehow uniquely valuable and they can sell them to a man in exchange for a committed relationship. So they meet a man, have sex with him, he doesn't commit, and they complain about being "played". It's all bullshit. Women can't trade sex for commitment. If a woman has sex because she wants to have sex at that moment, then she can't be played. She wanted to have sex and she got what she wanted.
Very few men will take a woman seriously if she doesn't take herself seriously. If she's sleeping around a lot or only has sex to offer from a male POV then she's not serious. So the less a woman values the preferences of men, the less valuable she is to men. With the right personality/character, guys will recognize a woman as being good for more than sex. Of course feminists don't like hearing this stuff because they claim that they can act like a man's opinion doesn't matter AND get everything they want from men. It's not so.
Dating is a skill. You have to learn how to manage your dating life to gain success.
My recommendation: Encourage her to date several people at the same time. Don't be a slut or player. tell them all you are not committing to them and are seeing other people. Only see them once every 7 to 10 days. Don't react if THEY are dating other people.
The result: She will have a lot of fun. She will weed out the bad elements without getting hurt. Those worthy of her heart and body will stick around. They will be the obvious boyfriend material.
. . . . . . If a guy thinks all women are gold-digging bitches, he's going to put himself into an environment where all the women around him are actually in fact gold digging bitches. You get what you're looking for.
Do you understand?
A guy who is rich attracts gold diggers and pretty girl pussy hunters. This just normal thing in this world. She should know this already
It's her. She allows it. Guys don't care how pretty you are. They'll fuck you over regardless. No pretty pass. I see endless pretty girls that I would never want to be my wife.
A lot of guys see getting with a "pretty girl" like it's a trophy and those guys are more likely to say anything to get with her.
Because they are with the wrong kind of guy, they need to think outside the box and get a serious guy
Good guys who are not players don't approach them as pretty girls generally love bad boys and tend to reject them harshly.
too dumb
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