Should I leave my boyfriend because I don’t trust him?

[Anonymous]

In every other way he’s a great boyfriend, he loves me, shows me affection, always says he loves me. But i notice strange things about him. Like today a girl walked beside him to grab fruits. And then she walked to a different aisle and he went to that aisle after her. Another time he would stare at a girl infront of me. And he would smile flirtatiously at a waitress. He denies doing any of this but I see it with my own eyes. He says he only loves me but I don’t believe it

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t matter how much he says he loves you or how much you love him, if you don’t have trust then you have nothing. Your boyfriend has a wandering eye, there’s no point in arguing about it because no matter how much he denies it you see it with your own eyes, on multiple occasions. Now what this comes down to is whether you can be ok with him doing that or not. Like if all the goodness in the relationship outweighs him being flirty or checking out women here and there then I guess you just need to work on ignoring him being disrespectful.
That may sound messed up but what’s the other option? Keep fighting over what you saw him do and be gaslit? That’s exhausting. I have a boyfriend too and unless he’s just very good at hiding it he would never check out other women in front of me and I wouldn’t be with him if he did.

[Asker]

Yes very true, the horrible thing is we recently moved into a basement together and I’m suffering. It’s hard because every other aspect he’s perfect except him doing these things and denying it and also going 50/50 for most

[Asker]

He also tells me it’s my imagination that none of these things happened

[Asker]

He’s more discreet about looking at women now but yesterday that supermarket thing. So I was looking at apples and this girl walked near him to get fruit. And then he came beside me and I complained about the apples because damaged. And he asks me if I preferred the green apples instead, while the girl was previous looking at the green apples. And then she went two aisles away. And few minutes later he did too, skipped an aisle

[molonski2]

He denies it , but there is little doubt he's a serious player , thats what he is doing in front of you , imagine what he is doing when on his own? He can't help himself and he is using you as a backstop.

You need to create some rules for him... the only other thing might be that you are completely imagining it all and severely jealous? Either that or he is looking for better.

[Asker]

I don’t understand why he says he loves me and we even moved in. And gives me lots of affection but he does that

[molonski2]

Well , you need a serious sit down conversation , don't yell , don't scream , be rational and present the full case , actually book a time for this meeting and sit down and go though all this in depth. I must admit , these kind of actions if correct can be pretty damning.

[Asker]

I tried, he keeps denying saying that I’m imagining this and that I’m jealous and says he only loves me

[molonski2]

Well , perhaps you are?

[Asker]

I dont know, im scared because if it’s my imagination, i will ruin the relationship. If he's really that kind of man, then my future will not look too bright

[Asker]

What can I do? If I keep seeing it and he keeps denying it

[molonski2]

Well , I think ( if you believe it ) that you really must give specific examples..
eg " The Checkout girl who opened her top for you , and you really participated " ( Him )
Or an alternate reaction he had , as a form of example.

[Asker]

Do u think he’s a player or am I imagining things like he says?

[molonski2]

Well , without actually seeing the actions myself , its incredibly difficult to say for certain , I'd need to see the response from these various women.
What about you? You guys are living together

[Asker]

Has it happened to you before? Like your girlfriend or wife accusing you but you’re not doing it or not aware?

[molonski2]

Yes , it has a few times , over here ( not always ) but often , women can be like this , PLUS chicks go for guys who are in relationships , call it flirtatious or forward , they really like to entice guys they think are taken , tease and test , are good words.

[Asker]

But I am sensing and seeing this often I don’t know what I should do. I’ve spoken to him many times and he just denies it and I trust what I see. Also I love him and he loves me too but im struggling

[molonski2]

It needs to be more tangible , you need to give firm examples.

[LonelyHsoul]

The fact is even if he didn't do any of that, f you don't trust him them the relationship won't work

[Worldclasslibtard]

Yes you should

[Asker]

Why girl?

[Worldclasslibtard]

You can’t be in a relationship with someone you can’t trust. It’s not worth it.

[Asker]

Yes it’s really sad because in other areas he perfect. Just that which is a very important aspect