Why did his voice get a little louder when I asked him if he was dealing with other girls and tried to change the subject?

[Anonymous]

He changed the subject about him being tired and working the last couple days when I told him I’ve been curious about this for about a month now

[Anonymous]

Could be numerous reasons. Just cause a person gets defensive doesn’t always mean they’re hiding something. It could just be that they’re tired of being accused of things. I had an ex, thought I was cheating on her. She always brought it up, then she’d say well if you’re nothing doing nothing then you wouldn’t get defensive like that. I said I’m getting defensive cause you keep asking me this question. That no matter how many times I tell you the truth you’re not going to accept it because you’re so sure I’m doing something when I’m not. Come to find out she was the one cheating. So yes just cause someone gets defensive doesn’t mean they’re hiding something. They may just be tired of the accusations. They may be tired of thinking no matter what I say or do to convince her I’m eking the truth there’s nothing I can do.
I may get mad to if I’m tired, busting my ass everyday to work hard for us to come home to be accused of things.
Its also possible that yes he may be doing something.
If I'm being honest just reading this you sound like you’re a handful. Like you like to stir up things. Not just based on this one incident. I just get that you are for some reason.

[Asker]

I agree with you. I even told him that if I’m too much to handle, I’m sorry and that he doesn’t have to be with me anymore. I think that’s fucking me up is because of my past and I think it’s not fair to him that I’m bringing it on to him.

[Opinion Owner]

So is there actual evidence that he is doing something? Or is this because of past experiences that regardless of whether it’s him or it was a different man in your life you’d think the same?

[Asker]

No evidence, but I just have a feeling you know that gut feeling? But then again, I don’t know if it’s my pass just trying to trick me. I think maybe it’s because of my trust issues and I guess I have a baggage. I wouldn’t say it’s just specific guy, but I think it’s just from my past experiences. I know what to look out for and to know if I come across any red flags. Which I believe our past experiences shapes us to who we are today, but that’s just my opinion.

[Opinion Owner]

What was th reason for asking him this question? Something you. Priced or something you seen on his phone?

[Asker]

Communication style is pretty different, scheduled calls

[Stevepro68]

Well in my experience it is exceptionally hard to detect anything based on external observations. It's toxic to hide things if your significant other is unsure about your behavior. Both of you need to assess your inner issues. I've been cheated on, yet it's rare that I suspect any of my new relationships of cheating. It's weird but it says more about your insecurities than it does about any actual issues from your partner. Remember no one can prove to anyone satisfaction that something doesn't exist. You both need to talk about why you feel this way. Without accusations or anger which excessively hard. in my opinion people either project their own feelings onto others and suspect all the time, or realistically deny that they are being cheated on until they cannot dodge the evidence.

[Asker]

Yes I have always talked to him in a calm matter and was never yelling or anything for being sassy because I feel if we can have a grown conversation without it being so aggressive that would make it better he said he understands my trust issues

[Anonymous]

He’s probably annoyed and doesn’t want to argue about the same thing you’ve probably brought up before. If you think he’s cheating so much then leave, give yourself some peace of mind. A cheater is never going to confess anyway just because you ask, especially if you don’t start that conversation with actual evidence in hand.

[Asker]

I mean, I told him he couldn’t leave me alone if I’m too much

[Opinion Owner]

In most cases if you are too much then it’s about hooking up, to either keep getting it from you or to try and make it happen since he’s invested the time.

[Asker]

Sorry I ment if I was too much for him then he can just bail if he wants to. Thats what I told him.

[Opinion Owner]

I understood what you meant girly, and that’s why I’m saying he could be sticking around for the “benefit” if you catch my drift. I know that would be pretty crappy of him but men are users all the time, even the ones you don’t expect to do it.

[Nikki1989]

The eye contact posts are bad enough, now we have people analyzing voice patterns.

FFS!

[slatyb]

He's lying. If he won't discuss it, it's because he knows you won't like the answer.

[Asker]

I told him he could be honest, and I won’t get mad or anything. I would actually be grateful that he would be telling the truth.

[Sevenpointfive]

i'm sure his engineering job is very demanding. he has to make deadlines and sometimes that means sleeping at the office. he comes home every chance he can just to see you and you give him shit for being and absentee boyfriend?