Girls, how do (or did) you deal with guys who very clearly like you, when you have no interest in any form of relationship?

[Tarifa]

Are you open about it, clear, to the point, or would you rather avoid the subject, for fear of hurting his feelings? Steer away from dealing with it, hoping he will eventually get the message? Just to be clear, you only have an assumption that attraction is there.

Guys, how would you like to be treated? Open and to the point, even if it hurts, or vague and ambiguous, so you’ll eventually lose hope? As long as they don’t tell us “We can be always be friends”, which is about the last thing I’d like to hear.

[Valdemort]

I say thank you and appreciate the interest, but I'm not looking for anything. If they still want to stay in touch, I'm fine with that, but I tell them not to try and make any moves or hope it'll change my interest in them - as it's not gonna happen. Either you respect the boundary, or we part ways. I don't feel the need to be hurting anyone's feelings, but I'd rather be straight to the point, than have a guy think my mind will change if he's gonna try harder.

[Valdemort]

To be fairly honest, I don't think I've ever stayed in touch with anyone after that, though - cause I wouldn't want to be giving the impression of leading anyone on.

[Tarifa]

Fair enough. But do you think that over time, contact and some form of affection could still be possible? Or is it a clear point where you cut off all contact?

[Valdemort]

Never had that happen, I don't remember ever actually having stayed in touch with someone who expressed interest either. Only the other way around, but I think fully cutting of is the best thing you can do, as it allows the other to move forward too.

It's a bit more nuanced, but I think this would be the most fair thing to do.

[virtualwasp]

I haven't met any guy who very clearly likes me so if you could give us some pointers to look out for in case I have been ignorant my entire life

[Tarifa]

You will notice if that happens. We men are usually not very good at hiding our feelings.

It may be he's interested in spending more time with you, even if it seems casual like going for a coffee or breakfast. He may want to spend time with you alone, instead of with a group of mutual friends. He may want to include you in his plans, for instance share his hobby.

It won't involve dates, asking you out for dinner or sending you flowers. That happens in movies, or when things start to evolve where he wants it to go.

[thegreenyogi]

At first I try to make it clear with body language signs that I'm not interested and if that doesn't work I come out with it directly so there are no misunderstandings.

[sage2021]

I am a very direct person so I would just tell him in a nice way that we aren't going to have anything more than we have right now.

[Abbycado]

I am just going to be to the point and clear about it. I don't want to lead someone on. Then it just drags out.