I feel like a lot of guys like me from afar but when they try to get to know me they don’t seem interested. What could it be?

[Anonymous]

I think guys are interested in me or at least attracted to me to an extent, but after an initial conversation or meeting in-person they don’t follow up or pursue me any longer. I know I have some anxiety and nervousness, I’m also on the autism spectrum so maybe that’s hindering my confidence. I just can’t seem to get the attraction flowing.
I’m pretty, nothing extraordinary though, and I have reddish blond hair. I’m pale which a lot of guys aren’t into. I’m not overweight, I’m a size Small and I’m 5’9”. I have a lot of crazy interests I’m passionate about like horses, financial math, I launched a magazine, etc. I think I show I’m interested back too (because I usually am!) but nothing is ever working out and I can’t get in a relationship. Im starting to think it’s not for me and it makes me depressed.
i have a good reputation, not sexually active with anyone outside a relationship, and a lot of people seem to like me. I’m not mean to anyone. I have good character. I’m a little shy and awkward from the aspergers but I can’t think of anything unattractive I’m doing.

[Summeroflove]

It happens to the best of us… People become infatuated with someone and build this picture in their heads of what they are like and who they are… Just to finally meet them and not be interested.

It’s normal. It happens. Don’t get down on yourself over it they aren’t meant to be. Narcissists are the worst about doing that.

[Asker]

Right? And a lot of them project who they are onto the other person they barely know.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah that happens a lot too. Even if you’re just meeting someone a lot of people have expectations.

Look we all loose interest though I’m sure there been guys you thought were cute and funny that you met and realized they aren’t for you. So don’t take it personally.

[Summeroflove]

Doesn’t mean they’re rejecting you as a human being. I’m sure there’s dudes you like just fine personally. But romantically…. Or sexually. No

[RSav4013]

What types of guys are you talking to and where are you meeting them? You sound like a great catch to me. People that are on the spectrum can sometimes imminently come off as snobby or disinterested. Maybe let them know that you can come off that way, but you don't mean it and see if that changes anything.

[Asker]

They seem to like me as a person though — they talk to me when they see me. They just don’t like me romantically since they’re not pursuing.
I meet a lot of them at my apartment building — there’s a lot of social activities they hold and gatherings. I used to use dating apps but don’t anymore. Sometimes the gym guys would hit on me a lot. Otherwise through my professional network or friend events, meetups, etc.

[RSav4013]

Maybe they just think you're being friendly. The gym guys are likely just looking for an ego boost, wanting a hookup or validity for being good looking rather than pursuing something serious.

[Asker]

Possibly. But my mind gets to a negative place where I think no one thinks of me in a serious relationship way. I’ll see them with another girl soon after like a couple months so it seems like they were looking for a relationship, just not with me.

[RSav4013]

Have you gone on dates with any of them? You can DM me if you want, might be easier to talk than have a million message thread lol

[Asker]

Alright I followed you but can’t seem to message you lol. Feel free to send the first one?

[Nikki1989]

Most men are weak these days. The odds of any man making a move on you is low at the best of times.

[Anonymous]

Be patient and hopefully you'll find somebody eventually. At least you have an opportunity to go on dates.

[jahaims]

Ask a close friend. They would know better