Is he just physically attracted to me, playing games, or could there be something else going on?

[gxpxgx]

At my workplace, sometime last year, around May, this man started talking to me. He has a management position, and I'm just a regular associate. He started showing interest in me in the way that he would ask me questions about my own personal interests, hobbies, etc. This went on for months, just getting to know each other at work and talking whenever we had time. Eventually, he asked for my number and said that we could hang out sometime. That same day that he asked for my number, he messaged me. We messaged for a good while, and we got to know each other a little more. But then, he stopped replying. A while after that, I decided to just message him, and again, we talked for a while. He stopped replying. I just stopped texting him or trying to reach out to him outside of work. Just yesterday, I had a male customer who needed my help, so I was with him for a couple of minutes. He saw that, and I noticed that he was standing nearby and trying to look out for me. He messaged me and asked me if I was okay, if I needed help, or if the customer was making me feel uncomfortable. I explained to him the situation, and he explained to me that he thought I was feeling uncomfortable. I thanked him, and he didn't answer anymore. I feel that he was looking out for me because of his management position but also because he was genuinely worried and he cares. So there's a lot of inconsistent messaging behavior from his part. But whenever we have messaged, our messages are never dry or boring. He still shows a lot of interest in person. He's a really outgoing and respectful man. He gives me compliments about my hair, he'll tell me when I look "really" pretty or when he likes what I'm wearing. He's told me twice that we should hang out, and I tell him that I would really like that, but he doesn't take the initiative to reach out to me to put a date on it.

Updates

1 y

Now I understand he could be busy because he just graduated college and is looking for a new job but still. When you really like someone, you just go for it.

[LilCorgiXx]

It seems you are experiencing mixed signals from this individual, which can be both confusing and frustrating. Mixed signals occur when someone’s actions and words do not align, leading to uncertainty about their true intentions.

In your case, his initial interest and compliments suggest genuine attraction. However, his inconsistent communication such as initiating contact, then ceasing to reply followed by protective behavior at work, indicates a lack of clarity in his feelings. This pattern can be a sign of avoidant attachment, where an individual desires closeness but struggles with intimacy.

It is important to recognize that while his actions may reflect genuine care, they also suggest hesitancy or uncertainty on his part. His failure to take the initiative in setting up plans, despite expressing interest, further highlights this inconsistency.

Given these mixed signals, it is crucial to prioritize your own emotional well-being. Consider having an open and honest conversation with him about your feelings and the ambiguity of his actions. This can provide clarity and help you decide how to proceed, ensuring that any relationship you pursue is based on mutual understanding and respect.

[gxpxgx]

I really appreciate your opinion and your response. It does seem to me that he is uncertain about his feelings or is hesitant for some reason, although he has given me many signs that he likes me. I have considered having an open conversation with him about his behavior, but to be honest, I would have really liked for him to be the first one to do it. But it's gotten to the point where I'm just confused, and I don't know what to expect or think anymore. So I think talking to him would be the best option. I'm just afraid because I do like him, and I don't know what his response would be. I'm afraid of him not having good intentions.

I've thought it could also be because he just graduated college and now he's looking for another job so he might have to leave our workplace or even our city. But then, if he's not ready or uncertain about me or his future, what makes him think that he can make me feel this way and give me mixed signs? That's him being selfish in a way. He might as well just keep his compliments and everything he does to himself.

[LilCorgiXx]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly—I really appreciate your honesty. It sounds like you’re caught in a confusing situation where his mixed signals leave you feeling uncertain about his intentions. I completely understand wanting him to take the first step, especially when you care about him and are already emotionally invested.

At the same time, if his behavior is making you feel like you’re in limbo, it might be time to clear the air. It’s perfectly okay to have a conversation about how you’re feeling. This isn’t about forcing his hand, but about ensuring you’re not left guessing or hurt in the long run. If he’s dealing with his own uncertainties—whether it’s about his future or his feelings for you—then you deserve to know exactly where you stand.

Remember, you deserve consistency and respect. If he’s not ready to be clear about his intentions, it might be a sign that you deserve someone who is more forthcoming and willing to invest in the relationship. Whatever happens, I’m here to support you through it

[gxpxgx]

Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me and for your kind words. By talking to you, I was able to get more clarity about what my next steps should be. Again, thank you.

[LilCorgiXx]

You’re very welcome! I’m really glad I could help. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you 😁

[LilCorgiXx]

Thanks for the mho 🩷

[SleepingHazard]

He is pretending to care, just to keep you hooked enough in case he needs something from you. That's my take. You would know if the interest was genuine.

[Anonymous]

He likes you and is trying to get your attention.

[strateguy632]

Games. So be careful

[In_Trance]

Nothing else going on