Is he playing me or is it genuine attraction?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know him well but I’m certain he might flirt with other women but never in front of me. If he talks to a woman he constantly looking over at me and distancing himself while he talks to her. He’s even gotten a bit jealous when a guy talked to me. He’s also done other things here and there…

But the kicker part is he was in the talking stage with someone…. They were dating but not together yet… but they were spending time together on her page…

[Oliverlogan263]

It's kinda hard to say for sure. On one hand, the fact that he gets jealous when other guys talk to you and is always looking at you when talking to other girls seems like a good sign he's genuinely into you.

But the thing with this other girl he was talking to kinda throws a wrench in it. Was he just keeping you on the backburner in case things didn't work out with her? That would be playing games for sure.

I'd say trust your gut on this one. Pay attention to how he treats you compared to other girls - is he just flirty or does he actually wanna spend real one on one time with you? And the other girl - are they fully done now or what?

Maybe feel it out a bit longer before getting too invested. But don't be afraid to straight up ask him what's really up either. You deserve a guy who makes you his clear choice, not someone who's keeping options open, ya know? Keep your guard up sis!

[Asker]

Well this happened months ago and I just can’t get the “did he play me” out my head… he was attracted to another girl I knew….

I think he may have been friends with her but I had just started coming around more… I have seen him around and I just thought he was nice… I didn’t jump to conclusions whenever we passes ect….

But I think when I was around more in his department he started showing more signs

[Asker]

I mean he did end up choosing her. He started avoiding me once things got serious. They expecting now

[Asker]

Maybe he wanted me to believe he was a good genuine guy or he just wanted to look at all his “options” I don't know but in the end it hurt bc I thought for once I was worth it to someone.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, girl I totally feel you. That's super messed up what he did. Playing games with people's feelings is wack.

From the sounds of it, he was probably just keeping you around as an option at first until things got more serious with the other girl. Some dudes do that cause they like the attention or just in case things don't work out with their first choice.

But don't take it personally - says way more about him than you. You're worth way more than being some guy's backup plan.

Now that it's been a few months, try your best to let it go. Don't give him the satisfaction of still having this power over your mind. He's not worth wasting any more thoughts on.

You'll meet someone even better who looks at you as their only choice. Hold your head high - he missed out, not you. His loss! Now go treat yourself to something you love as a pick me up. You got this!

[Asker]

Thank you friend. 🥺

I really thought it was genuine and I thought maybe I found the one…. I’m not going to lie.. I’m not used to male attention. I didn’t immediately think he was interested… I just thought he was consistent and he got jealous I thought it was real. How could I be so stupid… esp when I didn’t just give in and flirt back

[Asker]

The worst part is that the girl he chose looks nothing like me… she’s hot and I’m avg….

I intentionally avoid guys like him bc ik they won’t like me or they’ll do what he did…. Make me think he’s interested and I end up looking stupid when I explain it to someone

[Oliverlogan263]

Awww you're not stupid at all, don't even go there. He played you, plain and simple, and anybody could've gotten tricked by his BS. You have every right to take someone at their word if they seem consistent and caring. That's normal.

And stop puttin' yourself down like that either - looks ain't everything. Hot or not, that dude clearly has shittier qualities than you do if he's out here playing games. You seem real and down to earth, and that's way more valuable than any surface level stuff.

Guys like him will hit on anything with a pulse, so don't let it being another girl make you feel less-than. You dodged a major bullet is what happened! That chick can have him and his baggage.

And don't ever avoid guys just because you think they won't like you. Have some more confidence! You seem chill and funny, and real dudes are into real girls, not some dumbass Instagram-made standards.

Start believing you deserve better cause you do. In time you'll find someone real as you that appreciates you for who you are. Keep your head up sis, and don't let this clown stunt your shine, fo'real!

[Asker]

Thank you omfg 🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[Asker]

If he played me why did he get jealous and why did he give glances when I wasn’t looking

[Oliverlogan263]

You're very welcome. I think dudes like that can be confusing because they're confused themselves sometimes. Even if he played games with your head, some part of him probably did feel something real for you.

When you got his attention and he started to like you, I bet it made him insecure too - like he wasn't used to catching feelings and didn't know how to handle it. So he acted jealous and tried to keep you around as an option.

But when something "easier" came along that he felt more in control of, he bounced to that instead of dealing with his real feelings for you. Typical avoidance tactic you know?

Either way though, his actions showed where his priorities were in the end. As much as we want to make sense of these things, some guys just aren't ready for something real.

Don't waste time wondering "what if" - wish him well and keep it pushing. When the right one comes, you'll know because he'll treat you like a queen from the jump, no games! Stay strong boo💪

[Asker]

Thank you! I love you 🥺💖

[Oliverlogan263]

You're very welcome and I love you too ☺️❤️🌹

[spartan55]

"I'm certain he might flirt with other women but not in front of me".
So in other words, you don't know.

[Asker]

He does

[spartan55]

Whatever... how do you know you just said he doesn't do it front of you...😂 😂 😂