Should I message back my old high school crush after my guy friend thinks it’s a horrible idea?

[Anonymous]

So earlier today, my old high school crush messaged me saying that it’s been a while since we saw each other and I looked better than I ever was back in high school. I look beautiful and sexy. He never said that when I was like 266lbs. I’m 5’11. I’m down to like 178lbs! My guy friend reminded me how mean and obnoxious he was to me and called you, me and us “retards” because we’re “special needs”. First of all I don’t like the term “special needs” and second of all, he wasn’t that mean. My guy friend said, “How could you forget? When you went to prom with him, he completely abandoned you to hang with his friends and never even payed any attention to you. He danced with you but he left you behind and didn’t even say goodbye when he left. No way you would forget that. We ended up dancing together and I hung out with you with my best friend. I asked you to prom four times and you said no and I warned you it was a bad idea to ask him.”

I told my best friend this and she said if my crush treated me like garbage and abandoned me then he doesn’t deserve a response. I mean people could change but I personally wouldn’t message him. She also said our guy friend has always looked out for me and I’ve been too busy paying attention to a guy that I obsessed with that didn’t care about me.

Should I text my old crush? He got a little chunky but he’s still handsome.

Updates

10 mo

No guy wanted to go out with me since I was overweight/obese in high schools. Plus I am or was plus size in high school and my height was intimidating. 22/24W in size was the worst. My guy friend was the only one that wanted to go out with me even though I’ve always see him as a friend and he’s also tall and was overweight, well not like me. He’s now 6’2.

[AnonAndrew]

First of all, congratulations on your improved fitness and weight loss! That's a genuinely impressive and huge improvement. I'm not surprised that guys who weren't very interested in you before are suddenly attracted to you! :)

The guy friend is obviously biased and can't really be trusted to give impartial advice solely with your best interests in mind, but you should be able to trust your best friend to do that. I'd strongly consider her advice.

However, being honest, if I were you I'd probably go for it. Best case scenario, it turns into a great relationship with a guy you genuinely like and are attracted to. Worst case scenario, it doesn't work out, but in the meantime you get to enjoy a fling and having sex with a handsome guy you like.

I think those are both pretty good outcomes! :)

[Anonymous]

Fuck no. He didn’t like you back then when you were overweight. What happens if you gain all that weight hypothetically speaking? I know you won’t. But the answer is he will leave you. If you’re just looking to get plowed by your high school crush, no expectations other than fulfilling your fantasy, sure go for it. But if you’re wanting more. No. Like I said he didn’t like you back then, sure as hell doesn’t need to be w you now.

[Asker]

We’ll it’s too late. We already messaged back and forth and going on our first date this evening

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck w that. Don’t be surprised if he just uses you.

[Asker]

Whatever

[Opinion Owner]

lol although my intention wasn’t to hurt your feelings you took it that way. But like you said whatever. What happens if you pop out a couple kids, then you get fat again? Will he leave you?

[Asker]

How do you know that’s going to happen?

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s a possibility based on his past behavior. Not only that men know what other men are thinking just the same as women can tell what women are thinking.

[Asker]

Yeah that’s true

[Opinion Owner]

I wasn’t trying to be an asshole or something like that. I was just saying don’t be surprised if something like that happens.

[Asker]

Yeah yeah sure. Even my best said I have no self respect or control for myself because I self sabotage myself to guys that treats me like garbage and I’m so easy that this guy can manipulate me during his desperate life. He also said I’m easily manipulated that I am too blind to see that he’s using me and our guy friend really truly loves me but I’m too busy paying attention to guys that treat me bad and out of my league. She jealous.

[Opinion Owner]

So what she’s saying, maybe she’s right? If you really think about it has this always been the case? If so why?

[Asker]

I don’t know. I keep telling her that our guy friend is just a friend. Then she said, “Oh come on! He OBVIOUSLY likes you. He may not be a jock, good looking or athletic but he’s way more boyfriend material than that jock. Plus he’s in your league. No offense but that jock is way out of your league.”

[missindiana93]

Don't do it. No one really changes you obsessed over a guy who treated you like shit. Get real. Go find someone better.

[missindiana93]

It amazes me how truly blind people are.

[Asker]

Come on guys! People change!

[Alwayreckles93]

Your history get over him already it's been a decade now.

[Asker]

No it’s been only been 8 years. We graduated in 2017.

[Staximus]

If you still talk to a guy who abandoned you at the prom then you're an idiot

[Asker]

I haven’t spoken to him in eight years so how am I an idiot?

[Staximus]

Because you want to message him after he treated you like shit

[Asker]

It’s been EIGHT YEARS! People can change

[Staximus]

If you had any sense you would listen to your best friend, but obviously you do not

[Staximus]

Why do you still want a guy who treated you like shit instead of the guy who treated you good? You just want to get treated like shit again? Pull your head out of your ass

[Nikki1989]

You are far old for crushes.

[Asker]

Oh be quiet!

[Anonymous]

No, you should leave well enough alone.

[Asker]

Why should I? This is my chance to talk to my old high school crush!

[Opinion Owner]

It is not a good idea to live in the past. He is then, this is now.

[Asker]

My guy friend keeps saying that