How could he have meant those kisses and why was he using a blanket even though he didn't need it?

[PinkieD]

My trainer, colleague and friend was getting ready to go on an off-road trip in the mountains. In the morning at work I wrote to him not to go home after work, that I wanted to give me something. When he left a little early, he announced that he was going home. So I wrote to him to wait and that I would come to him right away. We exchanged a few sentences, he initiated pleasant kisses on the cheeks, I gave him a warm blanket, scented with my perfume, for the trip. Finally, I told him that I would miss him. He told me that he would only be gone for a few days. I wished him a safe trip and that he should enjoy it. In one of the photos he posted, I saw that he was taking the blanket off me on the bed in the car. What do you think about that?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a pretty intense interaction you had with your trainer/colleague! The cheek kisses, the blanket, the talk about missing each other - that definitely seems like it was loaded with some romantic subtext.

My guess is that he was probably feeling a little emotional about going on the trip and wanted to have a sweet moment with you before he left. The blanket thing especially seems like he wanted to hold onto something that reminded him of you while he was away.

As for why he used the blanket even though he didn't "need" it - I bet he just wanted an excuse to keep it close. It's probably comforting for him to have that connection to you, even if it's just a scented blanket. He may have been feeling a little sentimental.

The real question is, do you think there could be deeper feelings there beyond just friendship? The intensity of the interaction and him taking the blanket with him makes me wonder if he might have a little crush on you. Or maybe you have feelings for him too?

Either way, it seems like there's definitely some unspoken attraction or emotional intimacy going on between you two. It could just be a really close friendship, or it could be the start of something more. I'd suggest really thinking about how you feel and whether you want to explore that further.

Just be careful, though. Getting involved with a coworker can get messy fast. Make sure you know what you're getting into before you let those feelings blossom. But if you do think there could be something there, maybe have an open and honest conversation with him when he gets back.

Let me know if you need any other advice! I'm happy to talk through this whole situation and help you sort out your feelings.

[PinkieD]

Thanks for your opinion. and for the clarification. We met at work and then I started working out at his gym, so he's my personal trainer. So somehow he already knows that I started because of him. In a weak moment, I wrote to him that from the first moment I felt like I'd known him my whole life (we looked each other directly and intensely in the eyes) and he wrote back that these are the interplays of life. Before Christmas, he invited me to a scan after training, we worked together at Christmas and when I gave him a small gift, he was very happy and asked for "at least a hug" and we also kissed on the cheeks. Also, before New Year's Eve, he drove me in the car and before the performance, he leaned towards me, as if to wish me a nice New Year's Eve, then I gave him a kiss on the cheek and hugged him around the neck, I wanted to thank him for the gift. so we often meet at work for coffee, or he's waiting for me when I get to work with coffee, but sometimes we just meet up intentionally to talk. there are many gestures that tell me that he feels something more too. today after training he greeted me "bye my dear, bye and see you on Wednesday morning" and we also text each other good morning, often he's the first one, so I would say 50/50. so I definitely feel more than friendship for him, but I don't know how he feels. an important factor is that we're probably drawn to each other, but he's divorced and has a girlfriend and I'm still married. and we've talked about this and we know that we both have no problem ending our current relationships. (He has a very young girlfriend who has started to want children and a wedding from him, which he doesn't want anymore, because he has two children. I am married, basically, before a divorce, and also have two children) He recently surprised me by asking "how are my girls?", meaning my daughters. It's very complicated, and that's probably why he's so careful about expressing his feelings.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, girl, that's a really complex and nuanced situation you've got going on with your trainer/coworker. It definitely sounds like there are some deep feelings and chemistry between the two of you, but also a lot of complicating factors that are making it tricky to navigate.

The little gestures you described - the intense eye contact, the hugs and cheek kisses, the thoughtful gifts, the asking about your daughters - those all seem to point to him having some strong romantic feelings for you. And the fact that you feel the same way makes it even more complicated.

The fact that you're both in relationships (albeit rocky ones) adds an extra layer of complication. It's good that you've both been upfront about potentially ending those other relationships, but that's still a major life change to consider. And the age/life stage differences with his younger girlfriend wanting kids could definitely be a factor.

I can see why he might be treading carefully and trying not to fully express his feelings - he probably doesn't want to rock the boat or do anything too overt that could jeopardize either of your current situations. Even if he's super into you, he may be trying to play it cool for now.

At the same time, this 50/50 dynamic you have going on, with the frequent texts, coffee meetups, and affectionate gestures, suggests he's not holding back completely. He seems to be giving you little hints and signals that he cares deeply about you.

My advice would be to keep being observant and tuning into your intuition about how he feels. But also be patient and understanding of the complexities he's navigating. If/when the time is right, have an open and honest conversation with him about where you both stand and what you both want.

[Oliverlogan263]

This is the kind of situation where communication is key, even if it's scary. You both deserve to be upfront about your feelings and see if there's a way to pursue something real, while being mindful of your current commitments. It won't be easy, but if the connection is as strong as it seems, it could be worth exploring.

I know it's a lot to unpack, but I'm rooting for you, girl. Just keep being true to yourself and don't be afraid to take things at your own pace. Wishing you the very best as you figure this out!

[KITEinStorm]

Should I write the same answer here again :( Why did you open the topic a second time?

[PinkieD]

Sorry, the system stopped my previous question and I don't know why.