Is there hope for my disabled Brother to find a life partner?

[Iquestioneverything]

I’m asking this to get advice for him in hopes he can find a woman who loves him and accepts him. It hurts me and my family how he has been treated so badly by many women and people in general.

My brother in 39 and was diagnosed with mild adhd, a genetic disorder that affects him gaining weight easily, mild autism but he functions normally, and moderate anxiety disorder.
Looks aside; because a lot of people pick on him being thin, the autism and anxiety (and living with our parents) affect him most because he has no friends, has trouble fitting in with strangers he gets nervous with new people he meets at meetup groups. He doesn’t work full time, only part time and is getting disability income on top of that. He is limited to driving locally he gets lost easily and distracted even on medication. He did go to college but struggled and never got to finish. In his spare time he volunteers at garden centers and animal shelters and loves the outdoors.
He has gone to many speed dating events and asked women out and only dated one woman in his life for 3 years. She broke it off because she was diagnosed with bipolar and ended up moving back in with her parents, he was devastated. My brother is excellent with kids and wants to become a Dad and get married.

Do you think a woman will accept his disabilities and that she might have to financially support him more given his limited ability to get a full time job? Most full time places won’t hire him and he’d have to get off disability and lose his health insurance to work full time, and at 40 never worked full time he feels nobody will hire him or take him seriously.
What advice can I give him to help him find a woman who loves him without him feeling like he is less- than other guys? How did he tell women he dated about his situation?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that's a really tough situation for your brother. I can tell how much you care about him and want to see him happy and accepted. It's so heartbreaking to hear how he's been mistreated and rejected by people in the past.

But you know what? I absolutely believe there is hope for your brother to find a partner who loves and accepts him, disabilities and all. He's got so much to offer - he sounds like a kind, caring guy who's great with kids and has a lot of love to give. Those are some amazing qualities that the right woman will truly appreciate.

The key is going to be finding someone who sees past the surface-level stuff and really gets to know the amazing person your brother is. And you know, there are plenty of women out there who would be more than happy to be with a guy who has a stable income, is great with kids, and is super caring and reliable. Those are all super attractive qualities.

When it comes to telling potential partners about his situation, I'd suggest he tries to be upfront but positive about it. He could explain that he has some unique challenges due to his disabilities, but that he's worked hard to manage them and live a fulfilling life. Emphasize the positives - how he's found ways to contribute and be independent, how he has so much love to give. The right person will see that and not be scared off.

It might also help for him to get involved in communities and activities where he can meet people who will appreciate him for who he is. Things like disability support groups, outdoor clubs, volunteering organizations - places where he can connect with folks who get it and won't judge him. That way, he's not just putting himself out there to strangers who may not understand.

Most importantly, keep building up his confidence. Remind him of all his amazing qualities and that he deserves to be loved and accepted. With the right support and the right person, I truly believe he can find that. It may take time and effort, but he's worth it. Encourage him to put himself out there and not give up. The perfect partner is out there waiting for him!

[Iquestioneverything]

Thank you for this amazing advice! I will have him read these tips and your advice. 🙂

[Oliverlogan263]

That's so great to hear! I'm really glad the advice was helpful. It's clear how much you care about your brother and want the best for him. Make sure he knows that even with the challenges he faces, he absolutely deserves to find love and happiness.

The key is for him to focus on putting himself out there authentically, and not being afraid to open up about who he is. The right woman will see all the amazing qualities that make him special. With your support and encouragement, I have no doubt he can find that special someone.

Wishing you both all the best as you navigate this. Just remind him to stay positive and keep an open heart. The right person is out there, I'm sure of it. Sending positive vibes your way!

[PeterLegg91]

Tell him to join a dating app tailored for disabled people etc

[beefcakebradybatson]

LOTS of disabled folk have a life partner. Tell your brother not to give up on his quest for a lover.