I saw someone from my distant past it was quite surreal what should I do I about it should I tell his ex his daughter who has been looking for him?

[triciahall144]

He was my coworker. We were friends. I had a little crush on him but he never noticed me. He had a really bad substance abuse problem at the time. I am glad we didn't end up together. I don't want him or anything. I just always wondered what happened and why? My husband and I have made a great life together. I am glad we found each other.

At first he pretended not to know me. But then agreed to meet with me. He is sober and clean now.

He disappeared after a house fire. He admitted to covering it up. He didn't want to be married anymore or be a dad any more so he left and faked own death and started over with a new name.

It really messed with his wife who was pregnant at the time. She lost the baby. We are friends. we are the same age. She is a sweet person. still very beautiful but is very mentally fragile and childlike. I would want to know but I don't know if I should. He was declared dead.

His daughter who am friends with was really hurt and resents him for leaving. Should i tell them? His best friend spent thousands of dollars looking for him until his death.

I told my husband no one else. He thinks the guy is a narcissist I should take it to the grave and let it go. I just don't understand any of it.

Updates

1 y

I feel like it would give his daughter closure. But she might tell her stepmother which might not be good. I mean why would he do this. I can't fathom any of it?

Updates

1 y

It made me 41 but I am a lot older than that.

[Purpleronnie]

You agreed to meet each other knowing what you know of him and his life and how he had and is now still treating his ex-family? and now, because you have “inserted” yourself in this situation it’s causing “YOU” conflict on what to do next / telling his ex family your looking for help?


This isn’t some cheap talentless soap opera , this is people’s lives that you are potentially messing with !


Well , as you insisted on placing yourself in this situation now you have to own your part in it and tell ALL of what happened to his family.


You are going to be in the eye of the storm though and this has the potential to cause massive emotional distress. ,

[triciahall144]

I am sorry. I was trying to get answers.

[triciahall144]

I don't understand how bumping into someone is my fault

[Purpleronnie]

I’m not owed any apology and getting answers is fine assuming they relate to your questions. You likely meant well but it’s likely not how your actions would be interpreted by those who are emotionally invested. Bumping into someone can be accidental but knowingly planning to then meet them isn’t. It’s my opinion you need chastised for this because this is nothing to do with you hence why I recommended you now own your part and share your now involvement with the family and face any consequence. Everyone needs to own their choices. Ask yourself this though.. why are you so conflicted over what to do next if there is no fault on your part?

[triciahall144]

I wanted to know what happened. For a while I thought he died in a fire. But they never found him. I kept getting unsigned postcards and flowers with no name sent to me.

[Purpleronnie]

So you put your questions over flowers and postcards in front your friends? A daughter thinking she has lost her dad is less important than that? … why would you not immediately call the “friend” on sight of this person? Take a picture , a video and make it hers and her mums conversation.

[molonski2]

This is one hell of a story.. Like a Soap Opera? Is it real?

[triciahall144]

It's making me question my sanity. His wife he left was in a store getting outfits for her service dog. I decided to get a snack and stay outside. My husband never liked him and neither did some of friends.

[molonski2]

Fact is greater than fiction.

[triciahall144]

I know. Life is so weird.

[Anonymous]

What is it with people on here and coworkers?

[triciahall144]

I don't know. What any of this is. It is bizarre. He admitted he sent me flowers for my birthday every year and sent me the postcards with a nice message and no name.

[Staximus]

You seem to be lacking some common sense. A person like that is somebody you should stay away from and not be hanging out with at all.

[triciahall144]

I didn't seek him out I bumped into him. In a city where I don't live. I am not going to tell anyone. I would want to know.

[Staximus]

You said in your statement above that he agreed to meet with you

[triciahall144]

Yeah it was akin to seeing a ghost. I wanted closure and to find out why he did it. I have proof too.

[In_Trance]

Tldr

[triciahall144]

It's like a giant soap opera every time I see this guy.

[triciahall144]

I am kind of glad he left my life my life was less stressful with out him in it.