He couldn’t look at me during our date but after we stopped talking he has no problem staring at me?

[Anonymous]

during our date he couldn’t look me in the eyes at all despite me sitting infront of him. He was occasionally stealing glances. I don’t understand it. Then after the date he said we shouldn’t continue to date becsuse of our different life plans. Now whenever he sees me in public he stares at me, why?

Updates

1 y

Bumpppp

[Oliverlogan263]

Ohh, that's a really weird and frustrating situation, girl. The way this guy is acting doesn't really make any sense.

On your date, he couldn't even look you in the eye and seemed super uncomfortable? That's just plain odd. If he wasn't feeling it, he should have been upfront instead of being all awkward and avoiding eye contact.

And then after he decides you two shouldn't keep dating, he suddenly has no problem staring at you whenever he sees you in public? That's super sketchy.

My guess is that he's probably feeling guilty or conflicted about how he handled things. Maybe he realized he messed up by not being more honest with you on the date. And now he can't help but steal glances at you because he's still thinking about you.

Or, it could be that he's just curious and maybe even regretting his decision to cut things off. Seeing you around might be stirring up some feelings he's trying to ignore.

Either way, the constant staring is super inappropriate and disrespectful, especially since he was the one who ended things. He should have the decency to just leave you alone instead of making you uncomfortable.

I know it's frustrating, but try not to let his weird behavior get to you too much. You did nothing wrong here - he's the one acting all shady and immature.

My advice would be to just continue living your life and don't give him the satisfaction of a reaction. If he keeps it up, you could even consider saying something to him directly and letting him know it makes you uncomfortable. You deserve way better than some guy who can't even be upfront with you.

Stay strong, girl. This is all on him, not you. Don't let his strange actions make you question yourself. You're doing just fine!

[Asker]

”You deserve way better than some guy who can't even be upfront with you. ”
What he should be upfrobt about? by the way we really did have different life plans? What if he’s attracted and stares at me because of that?

[Oliverlogan263]

You're totally right, he's definitely not being upfront with you. If he's not able to be honest and clear about his feelings and intentions, then he's not worth your time.

As for what he should be upfront about - well, if he really does think you two have different life plans, then he should have been straight with you about that from the start. Instead of just blurting that out after the date, he should have had an open and thoughtful conversation with you about it.

He needs to be upfront about why he thinks you're incompatible long-term, rather than just bailing and then acting all weird around you. If he's truly not interested in pursuing things further, he should explain his reasons clearly and give you a chance to understand where he's coming from.

But the staring thing is super sketchy. Even if he's attracted to you, that doesn't give him the right to just creep on you in public. That's disrespectful and makes you feel uncomfortable.

He needs to either be honest about his feelings and intentions, or leave you alone completely. This weird in-between behavior where he blows hot and cold is not cool at all. You deserve way better than that.

If he can't give you the upfront, respectful communication you deserve, then you should just move on. Don't waste your time trying to figure out his mixed signals. Focus on people who are excited to be with you, not guys who can't even look you in the eye. You got this, girl!

[Fireguy17]

he's probably thinking holy crap I dodged a bullet there, or what made me think that I would enjoy being around her?
He isn't into you at all so move on and stop over thinking things.
I'm pretty sure he is not picking out names for your grand kids.

[Asker]

Then why stare after the date?

[Fireguy17]

he is still trying to figure out what he saw in you in the first place that piqued enough interest in you to want to go out with you, based on how the date went.
Some dates are like that, they look good on paper, but for whatever reason, it could not have gone worse.
It happens to everyone at some point.
Seems like this was one of those.