Why don’t guys ever have a crush on me that much?

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand, I have a kind heart, beautiful inside and out (even though I’m fat), helpful, funny and a crazy goofball, but I haven’t had a boyfriend since high school.
I know I’m not the ideal size of a girl. I’m tall at 5’10, plus size and chubby/curvy. I’ve always been a big girl, never that slim girl. I’m at least 220lbs and a size 18W. A lot of people say I don’t look fat and I carry the weight so well so I don’t need to lose weight. Um yes I do! My doctor said I need to be under 200lbs and I'm trying to get it 160 but my doctor said I should aim for 180 or 185 because of my large wide bone structure. Plus I’m black.
My boyfriend from senior year in high cheated on me with a petite girl. We dated from September 2016 to July 2017. I haven’t had a boyfriend since. I’ve had dates but they never work. I can’t get a third date. I’ve went on two with this guy last year but it didn’t work out. Before my ex boyfriend guys rejected me or put me in the friendzone. Who came up with that dump work “friendzone”? One guy that I had a huge crush on bluntly told me he would go out with me if I got my weight under control because he’ll break his back if he carried my fat ass. Wow…..

My guy friend who is my best friend said any guy that doesn’t like me for me is an idiot and I don’t need to be petite, thin or a hot girl to be beautiful and I’m perfect the way I am. He’s white but he’s a sweetheart.

I know he’s just saying that because he’s my best friend but he said he means it. I know he’s asked me to school dances and prom twice but junior year I went with him but as friends. I rejected him but we ended up going together with our other friends.
There’s this man in college that I really like but he doesn’t notice me. He looks 6’7 I’ve talked to him a few times before but I keep seeing this girl he’s always hanging with. She’s skinny and petite size. People said he’s has a huge crush on her.

[Anonymous]

You know what you need to do. You answered all your questions. The same thing happens to a lot of men. There’s a lot of good men who will never get a chance at being w someone cause esthetically speaking they’re not that good looking. As much as people may not like to believe it, especially when it comes to men, men see looks first. Then comes personality. I have to be honest here if you want help in figuring this out. Do you go after men who may be out of your league? A lot of women tend to want these cute, ah some rich men who aren’t in their league. But because of social media they will get a lot of men in their DMs who want to get a them. Not marry them. Sleep a them. So their ego gets inflated, now you get a girl who’s a 5 who thinks she’s on a level 10 of what men she wants. Why haven’t you dated your friend? Sounds like a nice guy. The other thing too is attitude, which is personality. A lot of girls have bad attitudes, ghetto let’s say. I e dealt w women from different races who had that ghetto mentality. No man really wants a girl like that. So if you’re being honest w yourself do you act like that at times? Cussing, yelling, screaming, etc. I think a lot of men are turns off too by black women because of the stereo type of how a lot of black women act. I can’t tell you how many videos I’ve watched of black men saying they’re done w black women for those reasons. That they don’t respect them. Don’t take this as an attack on you. I’m just telling you what I’ve noticed. What other men say. Why men just don’t want to date anymore.

[Red_Arrow]

You answered your own question. You admit you are overweight and your doctor has told you to lose weight. There are guys who would date you but most find more fit gals first. Do what your doctor says and lose some weight, for your health if not for attracting guys.

[Asker]

Yeah that makes more sense. That why I’m trying to lose weight. I know my guy friend said I’m beautiful the way I am but health is important.

[Red_Arrow]

Thank you for MHO. :-)

[xcheerleader_jessx]

You've answered your own question. I used to be bigger in my late teens. No guy would approach me. Then I lost weight in my early 20s. Now guys approach me.

There is this security guy who would never say hi to me when I was bigger. After I lost weight, he would always try to say hi and get my attention. I'll say hi bc I don't want to be rude like he was to me but I don't see any friendship potential or anything more. So weight loss can tell you a lot about a man's character if they knew you before and then after. If they can't take you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best (that also goes for women who dissed bigger guys before they lost weight). Good luck❤️

[Joshydavid25]

We don't know how you look, so we can't really say for sure.. You say you're cute, and I believe you when you say you carry your weight well, since you're tall, and 220 lbs is not hugely overweight for a woman your height.. But at the end of the day, we can't accurately answer this question for you.. The best we can do is say that you may need to lose the weight..

[jahaims]

You answered your own question. You're fat and obviously not very bright.

[Asker]

Wow….. I may be fat but I’m not stupid.

[Anonymous]

Guys like Super Model type women. This is why bigger women often end up alone in life.

[Asker]

Ouch okay that’s harsh….. but it makes sense.

[Opinion Owner]

I am not trying to be harsh, I am simply telling the truth about how the majority of men think and what they are looking for in a woman.

[Asker]

Like I said, it makes sense. I’ve seen bigger girls in relationships though.
That’s why I’m getting my health together. I don’t care if society said big girls are in, that’s not true. It’s always been for women.

[Asker]

One of my aunts is a big woman and she’s been married for 30 something years but when she was younger, she was fit and in shape. Funny she said she thought she was fat back then. That angers me when healthy looking women back then thought they were fat.

[LiamS95]

Talk to me in a pm

[Asker]

What for?

[LiamS95]

If you want help with your question.