Why don’t guys like me?

[BG_21]

A short description of what I look like. I am black well I’m mixed. I am Creole and also Cuban descent from my father. I am 89 pounds (no I am not sick I just have a fast metabolism) I turned 20 3 months ago, I don’t look my age. I’m 5’1. My personality is usually kind, introverted, compassionate, caring, if i am comfortable with certain people I have a funny side and I am currently a freshman in college. My body type is petite.


I don’t know if I am the problem but whenever I meet a nice good looking guy regardless of major or nationality we would talk. Maybe ever everyday sometimes or hangout. But if I start confessing my feelings after a good solid 3 months men just…slip away and ghost me. Some will say “oh I’m not ready for a relationship” or “I’m sorry your too skinny”. So should I do something? I don't know how to when a man’s attention. I make sure I smell good with perfumes and lotions. I even smile but is it me? Am I the problem?

[RavVid]

I doubt it is you. You sound the sort of girl I would go for.

It seems guys do want to talk and hang out with you so it is not that they don't want to be in your company. I get the not ready ready comment and maybe they just aren't.

I think the slipping away and ghosting must be due to that they feel under pressure. We don't like fuss and will exit stage left or right (whichever is closest) if we think there is going to be a problem.

I'm inclining to think you may be taking these guys by surprise. I think I am hanging out with a dudette and then she suddenly confesses feelings for me. I'm in a different boat to what I thought I was. Maybe these feelings are confessed intently which scares the bejeezus out of me i. e I'm in deeper than I ever suspected without warning. So stage left/right.

What I am going to suggest is to express partiality for the guy earlier. "You're so handsome". "Your biceps are so big". Whatever you genuinely like about him. It is signalling you like him and he has time to assimilate that info. The benefit for you is that he doesn't feel he can or wants to reciprocate he'll bail early and you won't have wasted three solid months.

The final point is guys all don't like the same type of girl. Some guys like large breasts. Some like me like small boobies. So if a guy has a preference for double D's it isn't isn't personal and you shouldn't take it that way. You just have to wait for a guy who fancies your cup size. I'm simply presuming your are in the smaller cup size range because you said you are 89 lbs with a fast metabolism but that is simply a jump in the dark on my part. Plus breast size isn't as important as it is cracked up to be. And I'm just talking about breast size in a collective sense of what we like in a girl because it is the most obvious attribute.

[BG_21]

Ah okay. Well I was originally a 34A and now I’m a 32B.

[RavVid]

I'll never understand how band and cups interact but that seems an attractive change.

On the main theme I have been surprised. Initially having sexual thoughts towards a girl but was sort of fobbed off and acclimated to friendship. And subsequently had feelings expressed. After divorce she told me she should have chosen me. I can't remember if I used stage left or right. Yes I have ghosted too.

So I am more sure that after three months the guys have had sufficient time to not regard you as a sex object any longer and just as a friend.

[David4358]

can't comment on your looks with if you are "to skinny" without seeing you.

And yeah if your dating guys that are also in their 20s they are not going to want to settle down at that age. So you could be freaking them out.

So date older guys or hold off freaking them out until they are older..

and find guys that are into skinny girls. as long as it healthy skinny and not unhealthy guys are out there that are into that

[BG_21]

Yeah I’m sorry I just don’t feel safe posting what I look like on here. But thank you ^^

[David4358]

Yeah completely understand but you could always post without your face as well.

[dragoblack]

There is nothing wrong with being petite. Social media may rave about "thicc" , but in reality guys really do like petite women. If weight is your issue, there is always working out to gain some muscle weight.

Don't count yourself short for guys not asking you out, the dating society has been all messed up for a great while and many people have been going for hookups instead of getting to know each other.

You're still young, you have time. Work on yourself to get to where you feel happy with your own body and looks. Work on acknowledging your insecurities and work on getting over them. Do what makes you happy and feel amazing

[Unit1]

oh sweetie. you remind me of my problem with girls not being interested in me. girls could tell me the same things but regardless the outcome remains the same.

it's not you. it's them. they are not willing for dating. it's simple as that. tell yourself that and believe it. it'll make things easier.

[Pohjolan]

If you are just friendly for 3 months and look like their little sister then you shouldn't be surprised if they see you as a friend and not a potential mate at that point.

Moreover you may not be the only one showing interest towards a nice good looking guy, in a period of 3 months.

My advice is that you have to strike while the iron is hot instead of waiting for it to cool off.

[Guy1988]

You are not the problem and there is nothing wrong with being skinny! Everything has their own time and you are destined to meet somebody who would not ghost you! Just wait for that moment and enjoy life! Life can be pretty exciting and fun even without a partner i can tell you that!!

[Anonymous]

You're punching above your weight. It's fine to want a relationship. If fine to want a cute guy. But you need to be realistic with what you're working with.

[BG_21]

I’m single. I got by personality not looks.

[Fuentes]

89 pounds and 5'1? If that's possible which maybe it is then you're very tiny. That could be a reason yes and yeah u probs shouldn't wait 3 months to confess because most men will become uninterested waiting that long

[BG_21]

But when is the right time to confess?

[Fuentes]

After maybe 1 or 2 dates or even maybe a few days after hanging out.

[BG_21]

Ah okay.

[Summeroflove]

Because not everyone will. You’ll find the right guy when it’s time

[Fes13]

Hog wash, they r tired of you beating them. Of you out liking them, always you're ahead in greets, attention always caring for them.

They don't have a chance to reciprocate, return the favor

[BG_21]

Then what do I do?

[Fes13]

Do those things they like..
Offer to bring em coffee
Give em foot massage
Ask em if they liked it
Cook a fav recipe dinner
Entertain his friends too
Ask for help fixing things
Guys love fixing things
Get involved in the sports

[JamesRandiDebates]

It sounds like you're not giving up the poon. You need to make it worth a guy's time to stick around you. Work on your sex game, give some blowjobs.

[BG_21]

I’m not interested in sex and I’m not ready for that sort’ve thing.

[JamesRandiDebates]

And that's why guys don't like you.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Madam, you sound attractive. Maybe you haven't met the right guy. Life happens for good or bad.

[gorydetails]

You're hanging around way too long. Stop hanging out with guys you're interested in. Make it known from the start you're interested in them.

[pethouse]

What’s your personality like? Because that’s just as important as everything else

[BG_21]

Nice, introverted, caring, compassionate, I like helping others it depends on the topic.(I’m not good at math). I listen to people when they vent to me andddd I’m very quiet especially around people I don’t know very well.

[pethouse]

Well from what you said you seem like you’d be a great caring person

[Anonymous]

You're dating guys in college. They aren't looking for a serious relationship.

[In_Trance]

It's something you're saying or doing

[BG_21]

I’m just being myself? I do over apologize sometimes😅