Why dont guys realize they put themselves in the friend zone?

[jongreat46]

Insteado of blaming the women for not wanting to date you how about you take the hints and leave her alone instead of trying to pressure her into dating you and move on with your own life. I am so tired of guys complaing of how they were friend zoned when she probably motioned in the beginning that she didn't want you to be her boyfriend or for you to take her on a date. Also why not just move on instead of hopelessly and creeplely hanging around and being "her friend" and don't say "well she shouldn't get mad that I don't want to be her friend. " I can guarantee that she is not mad if you drop her as a friend and probably relieved and thrilled if you drop her as a friend. I am so sick of guys complaining of the friend zone. Do yourselves a favor and get out of it and don't get create it in the first place and leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

What’s your definition of friéndzone? For me it’s when one person is interested and the other knows but isn’t interested yet they don’t say anything for their own ends. It’s not when the disinterested person straight up says “they just want to be friends” and the other person agrees to it like a pathetic moron vs just moving on. There is a difference.

Anyway I have a basic motto that attraction isn’t a choice but respect is.

It’s totally fine if a girl isn’t interested in a guy no matter how nice he is to her. But she can’t just play dumb (and a lot of women conveniently do) because she wants to milk the attention and favors off him. She has to speak up but a lot of women selfishly don’t.

It used to be so much simpler years ago. A guy could be direct and/or make a move. If she turned him down then the guy had to bow out gracefully. I know some guys sadly don’t but most will. But #metoo really screwed everything up. Especially if a man approaches a woman in the work place.

Also the shoe is on the other foot for guys on this too occasionally. We got to be straight up with women when we aren’t interested.

I’m actually dealing with a very uncomfortable situation right now when it comes to this. An older married (and rather overweight) woman strongly hinted to me last week that she had a crush on me in a recovery group I lead and she attends.

I tried to laugh it off and chalk it up as innocent. She’s a sweet lady and it’s okay if she likes me but she has zero chance I mean absolutely zero chance of making any of it with me. She’s no Jennifer Anniston when it comes down to it.

So now it’s my turn to have the uncomfortable direct conversation with her if she keeps it up. Not looking forward to it and an older married woman really should know better (especially in an anon group).

But again I have show respect and communicate. I sure as hell won’t “friéndzone” her for attention and benefits or some other crap. But a mature adult will speak up vs ignoring the obvious.

[DaveJord]

It’s not when the disinterested person straight up says “they just want to be friends” and the other person agrees to it like a pathetic moron vs just moving on.

Actually, this is exactly what FreindZone is. When one says we are just freinds and I am not interested in you on intimate level... the second those words comes out of their mouths you are freindzoned.

The guy that says okay to it is a moron. But the guy that say never mind then thanks and walks away is not Freindzoned.. because he refused to accept it. Has nothing to do with the woman's intention. But simple fact is that men freindzone themselves not woman.

[Opinion Owner]

@DaveJord in my experience most women don’t vocalize their true stance unless a guy puts them on the spot or makes a move. Nowadays that’s getting more and more risky to do that.

But these women could speak up but they don’t because they want plausible deniability. They also know if they spoke up there is a good chance the guy would quit giving them attention/benefits and they don’t want that going away. So they play dumb despite knowing damn well the guy likes them.

This is not to let men off the hook. They have to make their intentions known and leave out all doubt. But I absolutely disagree that “men put themselves in the friéndzone”. That’s ridiculous statement feminists came up with along with the “friendzone doesn’t exist”. They f*cked up and scared men ever more with the whole #metoo movement.

[DaveJord]

Yeah, I agree with that.

[Opinion Owner]

@DaveJord it’s just an old saying “attraction isn’t a choice but RESPECT is”.

Anyway I haven’t been friéndzoned in over a decade (I got radar for it) but I’ve had a few women try to pull this crap. Grown ass women who still think it’s okay to play dumb because they like the attention.

That’s what I have an issue with. Why is it always “on the man” to read someone’s mind? Anyway

[jongreat46]

The fact that you criticize the #metoo movement and feminism in the same sentence is telling if your beliefs whether you vocally state them or not and yes I am a feminist and I am a man and I don't care if you think being a feminist male makes me look weaker than you. In fact if you hate on feminism then something is wrong with your beliefs not feminism.

[Opinion Owner]

@jongreat46 just trying to figure out exactly where or when I personally insulted you with my response.

I disagreed and I stand by what I said above. But your response above actually demonstrates one of us cares more about BEING right vs WHAT is right.

[DaveJord]

I agree with Opinion Owner... for @jongreat46 the fact that you show as a man, but claim to be a feminist speaks volumes about you. Find you nut sack and grab a had full, and pull really hard... before you start thinking you're something that you are not.

I totally agree with opinion owner and womans claimed ignorance.

[jongreat46]

@DaveJord I am a man and a feminist which means I have bigger balls than you so go piss in your own mouth with your misgony and bigotry.

[Opinion Owner]

@jongreat46 just a reminder I didn’t come looking to fight when I disagreed with your question.

However I do find it funny that feminists came up with the “the friendzone doesn’t exist” moniker a few years ago but recently got silent on that claim. I theorize that more women are being occasionally friendzoned by men.

Men aren’t approaching women as directly and often as they used to out of paranoia. I know I would be nervous about approaching a woman I liked at work. If she takes it the wrong way and I could lose my job regardless of the facts of the situation. So now men have become more paranoid (and yes #metoo is largely responsible for this) this has forced some women to make a move (nothing wrong with that).

But now they are seeing it doesn’t always work out and they themselves occasionally get friendzoned. I believe that’s why feminists quit saying “the friéndzone doesn’t exist”. Some of them have painfully discovered it sure as hell does exist.

[Opinion Owner]

@jongreat46 and again I am in role reversal situation right now. I plan to be straight up with this woman the next time she makes a comment or invites me to “get lunch” or something. Given she is married I figure she would already know better and she should. But even with that I still will have the capacity to tactfully communicate where I stand.

This all comes down to respect. It’s not fun turning someone down. She’s a nice lady and I know she doesn’t have an easy life. But playing dumb isn’t “letting her down with gentle hands”. That’s just selfish cowardice. And that is what I have an issue with when women make unilateral decisions to friéndzone a guy.

[jongreat46]

I get what you are saying and FYI it's not you I will block any person that thinks being a feminist means I am less of a man and I understand what you are saying however, I find some guys get mad at women for putting them in the friend zone when in reality they put themselves there and I'm sick of guys winning about being friend zoned, for them I say stop being a big baby and move on.

[jongreat46]

In my opinion guys make up the friend zone and also the workplace is not the area for a hook up or relationship, I make it rule that anywhere I go I will not date or make friends with coworkers or classmates outside of work.

[jongreat46]

I blocked the other idiot from replying because he thinks being me being a feminist makes me lesser than him so no I will not let toxic boys like him answer on my forum.

[coachTanthony]

Never go shoe shopping with her just move on lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I always tell men what I’d tell my brother, if you like a woman, don’t accept being friends with her.

Well, my brother has never been in a situation like this, but to imagine that had he not been as hot as he is, some girls would try to friendzone and tag him along, doesn’t feel good to me.

Girl is a girl, she’s biologically wired to get as many men around as possible, because a loyal man equals more resources and higher chances of survival, so she’ll have a hard time refusing you as a friend, unless she has a very high moral and a conscientious, even then she might find it hard to refuse your friendship, because it’s BIOLOGICALLY beneficial for her. I don’t blame a girl for that.

However, she obviously doesn’t consider you the best fit for her, that’s why she’s keeping you in a friendzone. So, I am telling something I’d tell my brother or a son, if you like a woman as a potential romantic partner, don’t you undervalue yourself as a friend.

If she wants your resources and your protection, she’s got to be your girlfriend.

[DaveJord]

OMG right!!! I hate these losers that play lap dog to a woman as a freind, then want to pretend that someday they can back door it into a relationship. Or that she is totally hot and sex, but they do not see her that way because she is only friend. Dudes like this is what I call Liars, or they are deletional and living in denial.

[Anonymous]

I've said it a million times, just because you ask to go out with someone or you are nice to a woman, it doesn't mean she has any obligation to you. If you have no desire to be a friend, walk away. Go find someone who wants what you want.

[Adam1978]

That what you do when they try to put you in the friendzone, you leave. You don't have time to waste on that shit.

[grega239]

I went one step further and droooed any unnecessary contact with women.

I talk to my mom and the women at my job, the rest are a waste of time

[Anonymous]

There is NO friend zone.

There is no obligation to be friends, either.

[Unit1]

The "friendzone" does not exist and neither does god.

[In_Trance]

Because guys are dumb