Need post hook-up advice:I don't know what happened?

[Sara_cs]

I kinda know what's going on but still some clarity would be nice. I was texting with this guy on and off for a month and initially I wasn't super interested. He was very proactive in texting me and would double text and want to make plans all the time. Then a few days back we hooked up kinda suddenly and when he left he asked me if he can see me again and I said yes. He said he would text me and like a dumbass I thought he means it. Anyhoo I text him a couple of days later because I kinda liked his company a lot more than I thought I would (also didn't want to play games) and while he responded and was engaging there was certainly a drop in the energy levels. It's been a week since then and he still hasn't texted on his own. I suppose I should cut my losses and move on but I don't know what happened. Any ideas?

[236color]

Okay, men do not speak this code of hints, gestures and between the lines stuff women do. Be blunt. "Hey, I like you and I'd like to see you again. If this was a "hit it and quit it" situation, let me know, and then fuck off"

[Sara_cs]

Okay you know what this is very helpful. I am actually going to take this advice seriously.

[BarryLiverstone]

Sounds like he went back to the original pattern. You said before you hooked up it was on again and off again. As you are not in a relationship, he’s likely acting like he did before you hooked up. Did you want more?

[Sara_cs]

I think I got interested in him after meeting in person. It didn't come through in the texts but he matched my vibe in person. I think that's why I thought there is potential and wanted to get to know him more. But I don't think anything changes on his end and that's what's bothering me.

[BarryLiverstone]

You mentioned that he texted back. And that he wants to see you again. Did you let him know that you are more interested in him now? If you didn’t it would be hard for him to read your mind

[Sara_cs]

I texted first and he responded and was engaging enough. But he hasn't initiated anything. I don't think it's a good idea to overwhelm or chase but I certainly indicated that I would be interested in keeping the conversation flowing.

[BarryLiverstone]

Well you and him talked in person. So if he made plans to see you ig you go from there. Have you called him since you hooked up?

[Sara_cs]

Well he didn't make any concrete plans and no I didn't call. I thought texting might be enough to indicate interest.

[BarryLiverstone]

Texting is a way of exchanging info. If you want to see him, give him a call. And no, one phone call isn’t desperate

[Sara_cs]

Okay I am glad to hear that. I could give it another shot and see if the interest is still there.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes go for it. Then at least you will know and not wonder

[Sara_cs]

Thanks! I appreciate the advice.

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome

[Anonymous]

He lost interest after you hooked up. A lot of guys just want another notch on their belt and aren’t interested in a repeat performance, let alone a relationship.

[Sara_cs]

Yeah I suppose that's just it. I suppose I am tripping up because he is the one who indicated he wants to see me again and then acted weird. It's fine if you don't but why say things like that?

[Opinion Owner]

He was being polite. Plus he was keeping his options in case he didn’t get a better offer.

Sorry girl. But it’s the truth.

[Opinion Owner]

Keeping his options open

[Sara_cs]

Yeah I get that. It's just disappointing to deal with this kind of behavior all the time

[Opinion Owner]

Tell me about it. I am so lucky I’m in a happy relationship.

[Sara_cs]

Trying to get there too. I am no longer for the streets. It's just too much.

[Opinion Owner]

Totally get it. Good luck girl.

[Sara_cs]

Thank you!

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome 😊

[Anonymous]

Insisting on texting was your first mistake.

[Sara_cs]

Really? You think I shouldn't have texted first?

[trumpetplayerforlife]

Maybe he started talking to someone else because he thought you weren't fully interested in him

[Sara_cs]

I did take the first step and initiated contact after the hook up. I was way less proactive before. I don't know what else I should be doing without looking desperate.

[bowenw]

It sounds like he was a player and only after sex.

[Sara_cs]

I can usually spot players from a mile but looks like I tripped up. It gets too much sometimes though

[bowenw]

Hopefully he is just busy and will message you, but ghosting after sex is typical behavior for a player.

[Sara_cs]

Yeah I doubt anyone is ever that busy to go radio silence for a week but let's see. 🤷

[bowenw]

I agree it’s not looking good.

[MasterKS]

Expectation vs reality, what he thought he won't get it so want to slowly vanish.

[Sara_cs]

How do you mean?

[MasterKS]

@Sara_cs sex is might not be as he expected.

[Sara_cs]

Hmm I don't think that was the issue here. At least didn't seem like it from his reactions.

[MasterKS]

@Sara_cs sorry to say even in mid 30s you having tough time to understand men.

[Sara_cs]

Yeah clearly. I am still taking communication at face value.

[MasterKS]

@Sara_cs high time to change it. followed you.

[Sara_cs]

So what's your suggestion? I do nothing?

[MasterKS]

@Sara_cs better talk in private.

[Sara_cs]

👍🏽