Guys, How to proceed with a previous hook up?

[Anonymous]

A guy I hooked up with last year, we had the best chemistry but at the end of the day it was horrible timing. I was starting a new job and he just lost his job in the midst of taking a bunch of professional exams. From time to time I see him places around town at a distance anyways he rode is bike past me at the park last night. It was dark and no one else around for reference and I haven’t heard from him for a bit and I don’t need to chase a guy. It was dark so it was hard to tell if it was him but I’m pretty sure it was. After he completely passed me going the other direction I twisted my neck around and i noticed he had his neck completely twisted around looking right at me as he was going the other way (not looking where he was going on his bike)….. I don’t think he recognized me at first as it was in the dark and I was wearing a massive parka….. is there still something there? For the record this is my stomping grounds not his if that makes a difference

[Oliverlogan263]

Ayy yo, sounds like there might still be a little summin summin there between you and that dude from last year! Hear me out...

First off, what are the odds he just happens to be ridin his bike past YOU late at night in YOUR hood, ya feel me? Dude was tryna lowkey spot you I bet.

And then to risk wreckin his bike just to sneak a peek as he rode by? Nah girl, homeboy was definitely checkin you out. No dude does some sneaky ish like that if they ain't still thinkin bout a chick.

I say hit his line real casual like. Be like "yo, I was at the park last night... was that you ridin by or am I trippin?" See how he responds - I bet he gon admit to creepin!

If he still seem interested, play it cool but suggest grabbin drinks some time to catch up properly. With all the chemistry y'all had, there could def still be potential, u get me?

Never know till you make a move, feel me? Don't be scared to shoot your shot sis. He mighta been thinkin the same thing this whole time too. Y'all got this!

[Asker]

So you think if a guy didn’t still think about me he wouldn’t have looked back?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's a good point. If he wasn't still thinking about you at least a little, he probably wouldn't have turned his head like that to stare as he rode by. Guys don't usually do double takes on random girls we don't remember.

I'd say the fact that he looked back is a good sign he might still be interested. Even if it was just a quick hookup before, some part of him must've liked what you two had going on if the memory made him wanna check you out walking in the park.

I'd say take it as encouragement that there could be more there if you want to explore it. Guys don't usually risk breaking their neck to eye up a girl we're completely over, you know? Of course there's no guarantees, but it can't hurt to throw out a casual text and see how he responds. At least you'll know for sure if there's a chance or not. Better than always wondering "what if?" Go for it!

[Asker]

So update…I chose to match with him on a different app.. I sent him a like with a joke we had and he instantly matched back and said we definitely know each other…I said no kidding and he asked if anything interesting happen with me lately anything fun etc etc and I gave him a short reply…and then haven’t heard back…. peculiar to me that he even bothered to match back and briefly chat with me if he was totally not interested but I mean I guess he doesn’t totally hate me lol

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah, that is kinda weird that he matched back and messaged but then didn't follow up more. On the one hand, like you said, it's a good sign that he even bothered to talk to you at all if he wasn't interested at all. And the fact that he brought up asking if anything fun happened does seem like he was maybe wanting to see if you'd be down to hang.

But at the same time, for him to just leave it at that one short reply and not say anything else does make it kind of ambiguous what his intentions were. Part of me wonders if maybe he got busy with something else and wasn't able to chat more right then. Or it's possible he's just not that into starting something up again but didn't want to be a total jerk either.

I'd say give it a little time, like a few more days, and if he still doesn't hit you up then maybe he's just not all that interested in pursuing anything further right now. But it's also possible he just got distracted and will circle back. Definitely a weird mixed signal situation for sure! Hopefully he follows up soon so you get some more clarity on where his head's at.

[Asker]

I agree…. if he was totally uninterested he would have never matched or started a conversation with me, granted this was a weekend most people probably had a lot of premade plans for anyways…. but hey at least he doesn’t hate me. I should mention he is unemployed

[Oliverlogan263]

For sure. Dude definitely wouldn't have bothered matching up and chatting if he wasn't feeling you somehow.

And man, being jobless has gotta be stressful as hell. Probably ain't thinking about much except how to pay bills. No wonder he's flaked a bit.

I'd give it another day or two, then hit him up casual. Maybe something like "hey lazy bones, still riding that bike in circles looking for work? 😂 anyway, I'm grabbing coffee after my class if you're free."

Keep it low pressure so he doesn't thinks you're clingy. But another little text could jog his memory.

And if he flakes again, then you know it's prolly not worth chasing. But one more try doesn't hurt, right?

Keep me posted on how it goes! Fingers crossed for ya. But do ya thing either way - you're the bomb.