Is it weird for my boyfriend to follow a gay male makeup artist?

[Anonymous]

He follows like 3,000 people, and said he prolly followed cuz of the girls the guy posts there. But then when I asked why he still didn’t unfollow him, he said he doesn’t want to cause it’s no big deal. It’s making me question his sexuality.

[Anonymous]

I know as a man I wouldn’t follow someone like that. I’ve seen some men online who do such things, which I must say they seem to do a better job than most of the women. But to follow them no I wouldn’t. But if he’s about your age I’m about 10-15 years older so I think different. I don’t think to many men are like myself nowadays. A lot of men these days seem feminized. I will say this though, a lot of things women think are important aren’t important to men. For instance a lot of men still have phone numbers from people they don’t even talk to or an ex’s phone number. We usually don’t delete it cause it’s not worth the time. Just the same as posting our relationship status or posting pics of ourselves or our girls online. It’s just not that big of a deal. I’m not saying my girl isn’t important or men don’t think their girl is important. It’s just not a big deal to post our lives online. So maybe he thinks the same when it comes to following this person. Is your man feminine? How does he act?

[SteveSmith1985]

haha, I think you are reading too much into this. I think your boyfriend is right. It's not a big deal.

I'll tell you what.

If your boyfriend was secretly gay... don't you think he would have unfollowed... without arguing?

I wouldn't worry too much. I don't think this means anything at all.

🙂

[Asker]

Why would he unfollow without arguing if he was gay?

[SteveSmith1985]

Because he would be secretly gay right? trying to hide it. So if he realloly were gay, and you found evidence of this secret thing he's trying to hide... he wouldn't argue. it WOULD be a big deal, and he would happily unfollow and hope to make you forget all about it as soon as possible.

The guy who isn't gay, isn't worried his girlfriend might think he's gay. Because he's not. So he's letting you get all upset... until you inevitably come to realize... that... it's not a big deal. Because he's not gay. He's just waiting for you to think whatever until you figure it out. He is not worried about you thinking this... because he knows you're being silly (which you are) and there's no truth in your suspicion. He isn't bothered. It's not a big deal. It's really not. 1 out of 3000. makeup.

You don't have anything to worry about.

[Asker]

I don’t know, I think from what I’ve seen, they usually do something or other to make you question them a little, even on purpose sometimes. Part of them feels good about it.

[SteveSmith1985]

I guess... I can't know more about this than what's included in your question. I think that this is some very flimsy. But I don't know. Maybe there's other stuff that's making you think this? If it's just this, then what's your theory:

He secretly wanted you to find it, but now doesn't want to be caught?

or that he's gay, and just so into this makeup guy... because he's all about secretly wearing makeup?

It's not like it was gay porn. It's a makeup thing.

I still think you're making nothing into something. But you know what? I am always telling women to trust their intuition (and I do think that's good practice).

I am pretty sure your wrong. ANd that you're causing yourself stress for nothing. But if you feel this strongly that your boyfriend is secretly gay, I guess I'll take my own advice, and shut-up in favor of your intuitive feelings about this.

I feel sorry for this guy. But you can't go on believing this about him and be happy. So what are you going to do?

[Asker]

I don’t think he’s gay. Maybe he’s bisexual. I have seen a lot of guys in the closet around me, so I guess I’m a little traumatized.

[SteveSmith1985]

hahaha, yea I think you are traumatized. And yea, he would be bi. But what do you mean you've seen a lot of guys in the closet around you?
How do you know they're in the closet... are you assuming people are in the closet on your own?

or you mean you've seen a lot of guys come out of the closet (which is how you know they were once in the closet)

[Asker]

He would be or could be?

Family members. I know what they really like because it came out at one point or another, and then they got in relationships with and even married women… and show disdain for their wives behind their backs.

[SteveSmith1985]

Oh he would be (if you were right). Not that I think so.

That's pretty messed up with the family members stuff. I think that might indeed be coloring your views on this.

So what are you planning to do? (you don't have to tell me anything, obviously. I'm just curious)

[Asker]

We were talking about how we don’t like everything in each other, but that it’s normal. And it came up how he told me a while ago to maybe get rid of my peach fuzz on my upper lip. And he just said now “Yes, the lip hair was there. But we didn’t meet as much. Wasn’t an everyday thing. And you put make up on when we went out. Also doesn’t bother so much to not like you, as i said. I prefer you don’t have it.”

So, he’s basically saying it’s good we didn’t meet a lot because he got to be less bothered by my lip hair, (which is almost non-existent by the way). Do you agree?

[SteveSmith1985]

I just read that thing 5 freaking times. But the answer is "yes, I agree"

This is unrelated though... right?

[Asker]

Yes, pretty unrelated. But that convo with him led to this. Do you think he doesn’t really like me?

[SteveSmith1985]

I couldn't possibly tell you whether I think he likes you. I would need to know all about your relationship to tell you that (you can dm me if you want, but you're gonna have to fill me all-the-way-in for me to give any meaningful answer). Otherwise, I couldn't even guess.

But why wouldn't he like you? He's your boyfriend right? The lip thing is nothing. Other than that why would you be wondering this?

[Asker]

I can’t message yet because I don’t have enough points. Just seems like he’s always bothered by something about me physically. He’s my first boyfriend. When we first made out, he said the kiss was eh because my lips are small. He never really complimented me when we went out. He does seem to care about me and is often sweet, calls me a lot, etc. So, I’m confused

[SteveSmith1985]

if you "follow" me on GAG (or if you already do unfollow then refollow) I can see who you are, and message you. Once I message first you can dm back and forth.

[SteveSmith1985]

It's cool, we can continue here. First, how long have you been together? Were things better earlier?

Tell me more about always being bothered by something physically about you. That doesn't sound right...

I'm re-reading your last message... HE said the kiss was eh because your lips are small? That's messed up. I have never ever heard of somebody (anybody) saying something like that to the person he just kissed.

He... isn't into that Manosphere bullshit is he? Does he say things like "high value man" or "alpha" or any of that sort of stupidness?

He almost sounds like he's "negging" you. Which is the stupid theory that women actually like a guy who insults them (just like this) to keep women 'on their toes' or off-balance, or never feeling confident. It's really fucked up. It was popular maybe...8 or 10 years ago

Ok, what else has he complained about?

[itsannalee]

I don’t know in a man, but i even following some gay people on social media when i am 100% straight.

[NoDecision]

I know a few gay makeup artists. If I follow them, it is because they do excellent work.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, kind of weird. If he looks at other girls on social media that's kinda weird too

[Asker]

He followed those 3,000 people before we got together, so I’m not as concerned about that.

Why do you think it’s weird?

[Opinion Owner]

It’s usually unattractive to women when a man openly lusts after unattainable women on social media

[Asker]

No, why do you think it’s weird that he follows the guy?

[Opinion Owner]

I mean just unusual like most straight guys aren’t particularly interested in what gay men do lol. But still on top of that if it’s just for the girls, I don’t the see point at looking at girls you can’t get. But maybe he doesn’t care about who he follows that much I don't know

[Asker]

He did say he would follow random people and that’s how he got to 3,000. But yea, I can’t help but think a straight guy wouldn’t be interested in seeing that.

[Opinion Owner]

I wouldn’t be interested personally but I’m not into following a bunch of people on social media either way. I’d doubt he’s straight up gay and hiding it, it’s more likely he just didn’t want to unfollow because he doesn’t want to let you control what he does.

[Asker]

Is a guy that follows a lot of people on social media bad news, u think? It’s a lot of random things, not a bunch of girls.

[Opinion Owner]

Not necessarily bad news

[Alex-Snow]

Do u think he is bi. How is your sex life with him?

[Asker]

Quite good, we have a lot of sex when we meet. But he has said he doesn’t think he can do it every day. And for every other day, he said maybe

[DrPepper12]

Shit. I must love guys in uniform getting bullied by obnoxious men then.

It's HARMLESS

[Abbycado]

Why would that be weird?

[Asker]

Because the guy has shirtless pictures touching other guys if you scroll through his photos and puts makeup on himself

[Abbycado]

And?

[Asker]

Wouldn’t that be uninteresting to see for a guy that is straight?