One last chance?

Question

Why do guys ask for one last chance? In 2023 I decided to ultimately block a "friend". It gave me closure with our last conversation and i couldnt continue it. I unblocked him 2025 this year in case he needed the same, because I know most people don't get that so I am very fortunate, but I didn't think he would actually send me the friend request 2 years later. I ended up not accepting the first one and it doesn't tell them that. I think a week or 2 went by and he sent another. So I accepted it.

He throughly apologized for how he treated me and for how he acted and was going on about giving him another chance so he can show me he's changed and he will do things differently and from my viewpoint it felt like begging for give another chance. Seemed genuine over text, got him on call but the tone was monotone and I could hear him sniffling.

I was done with him in 2023. I met him in 2022 he's also younger than me. If that makes a difference.

But I want to know from a guys perspective why guys do that? Is it manipulation? Do some of you actually change

I want to know as a sister.

I guess I will never find out if he did change, since I decline the friendship, but it's lingering in my mind still. only been a couple days since then.

If y'all need move insight I can give you that but just need like a straight forward answe from your experiences.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

I don't know what all happened throughout your history. So what I'm saying may not apply to this guy. I have no idea how he used to be or whether he has changed.

You ask if it's manipulation. I wouldn't say it's "manipulation." It's a guy who wants to get back with you, and I'm sure that in his mind he probably did think he was different (or would be different). It wasn't a conscious: "I'll just say it but know it's a lie".

Sometimes a guy can change SOME things. It very much depends on what things he's talking about having changed. It is possible. People grow and do sometimes change. People can have big things (a death, getting sober, whatever) that can cause someone to reevaluate everything and make a change.

Generally though.

A guy who doesn't treat women right (abusers, manipulators, serial cheaters, possessive guys etc) Do not change.

I think that it has to do with how they are fundamentally wired to relate to women. Especially ones they become involved with.

I wouldn't trust guys like that to change. Note I said "serial" cheaters. While you'll never find someone more against cheating than I am...

Giving a guy who cheated ONCE a second chance is not unreasonable. (if you believe he's changed) That guy is not in the category of "cannot change". That is possible. But of course, use your judgement case by case.

I absolutely think you made the right choice by keeping him out of your life. No question.

Ez-Bri-Z_v2 · Accepted Answer

I think the biggest mistake here was you unblocking him to give him that in. It didn't really need to be done unless you wanted to have him in your life again. You say it's closure for the both of you, but after 2 years I'd say you should have both moved on.

Now he's here claiming to have changed and wanting another chance. I think guys generally mean they want another chance, though not all of them change. They revealed their true personality in the past and that should be your beacon as to how he would react if you did decide to do it.

Asking for another chance could be for any reason. Maybe he hasn't found a relationship since you and wants to get back to familiar territory cause he things it's easier to do that than find someone new. Maybe he does care for you, but it doesn't mean he won't make the same mistakes. A lot of cheaters do that. They want the best of both worlds.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I thought this was something seriously until you started talking about blocking and unblocking. Stick with the real world and stop the silly internet games.