Should I just leave him alone?

[MoonFace2]

My boyfriend has been acting strangely since we had sex for the first time. Really distant. He acted like he couldn’t wait to get away from me afterwards yesterday. He started saying we should see each other not at all next month, but once a month after that, from then on.

I was offended, so I confronted him after our date about it and he said he was going through autistic burnout, from trying to find a balance between his work life and his social life. That we’re still together. He said he’ll continue to say good morning and good night, daily, to me, as always. He didn’t say good morning today. Strange for him.

So I said good morning first. He was hardly talking and when I tried to ask him how I can be there for him, he didn’t respond. When I tried talking to him later and said good night early, he usually responds, but tonight he didn’t.

we both have Asperger’s syndrome. Mine is mild, his is moderate and he was inexperienced. I don’t understand as I’m new to being treated so poorly by men. This is my boyfriend. I feel like I’ve had more respect from casual hook ups in my past.

Updates

1 y

I ended things with him. He’s been ringing me and apologising, we’re talking on the phone tonight. I don’t know if it will do much good, though.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that's a really tough situation you're dealing with. I can see why you're feeling so confused and hurt by how he's been acting lately. Going from being super excited to being so distant and closed off - that's gotta be really hurtful, especially since you both have Asperger's.

It sounds like he's going through some serious burnout and struggles with balancing his life and social needs. And while that's understandable, it doesn't excuse the way he's been treating you. You deserve to be respected and cared for, even when your partner is going through a tough time.

I know it's hard, but I don't think you should just leave him alone right now. If he means a lot to you, and you want to make this work, you should try to have an open and honest conversation with him. Let him know how his behavior is making you feel, but also try to be understanding of what he's going through.

Maybe see if there are ways you can support him during this time, or come up with a plan for how you both can communicate and meet each other's needs, even if it looks a little different for a while. But don't let him walk all over you either. Set those boundaries and make it clear you won't accept being treated poorly.

At the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you. If he's not willing to work on things or make an effort, then you may have to consider walking away. But don't make that decision too hastily. Give him a chance to open up and see if you can find a way to get through this together.

I know it's not easy, girl. Relationships can be super complicated, especially when you're both dealing with your own stuff. But you got this. Just remember to take care of yourself first and foremost. Wishing you all the best!

[es20490446e]

Over the years I had to deal with similar situations.

I have simplified the process.

There is my part, and there is your part.

I deal with my part, and you deal with yours.

If despite me being nice and receptive you constantly prove incapable, I don't really think it's about me doing anything.

Simply put, I take it as proof as this relationship not being viable.

[es20490446e]

And specially: the reason doesn't matter.

[unknowngurll1212]

That sounds really tough, and I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It seems like there may be a lot going on with him, especially if he’s dealing with autistic burnout. It can sometimes make communication harder and more distant, even if he doesn’t intend to hurt you. It’s also possible that he’s not sure how to balance everything right now.

But at the same time, it’s imp that you feel respected and heard in the relationship. Maybe giving him some space, but also having a calm, open conversation about how you feel and what you need could help clear things up. You deserve to feel valued and supported. Trust your feelings, but also consider talking to him when he’s ready to engage...

[EmmaMary]

@moonface2

I do believe that the two of you need to sit down and thoroughly discuss this, hopefully coming to some sensible and reasonable compromise.

Sadly if nothing can be agreed, then maybe it's time you both go your separate ways.

[EmmaMary]

Gosh... Thank you so very much indeed @moonface2 for the MHO. xx

[itsannalee]

Sorry this is happening to you.
Yeah you should leave him alone, and give him time for a while. And if he doesn’t change like before you should just ask to him and talk why he changes like this. So you won’t waste time on him.

[Jennz6]

Give it some time before you move on

[eagle1951]

damn