Why do I keep meeting men who try to make me feel inferior?

[Anonymous]

I don't know how I keep meeting men who want to make me feel inferior. This when I was at school and this guy from a different class 'liked' me so much that he'd follow me home and make rounds of my house all day whistling with a group of boys. He didn't try talking to me, he rather kind of bullied me. When my parents contacted his family and the matter was addressed, he told my friends that I overestimated myself by thinking he cared about my existence.

Later, a guy at college told me that he liked my friend who was committed and hence as he couldn't get her he wanted to date me. As I kept blocking channels of communication, he kept reaching me through different gateways to tell me that he approached me only because he wanted to date a woman and there was nobody else available. It was a real problem getting rid of him.

The next person I talked to pointed out at least 20 flaws about my appearance within a week and then said that he could manage because I had a cool personality. After removing him, there was a guy at my class who'd talk to me even when I ignored him, sit beside me whenever he got a chance and would still keep bullying me for my looks or quietness.

The last person I had a conversation that could lead to something romantic was respectful at first. But then he started making negative assumptions about my life, played silly games like repeating everything I said when he was the one who sent a "what's up" text that day, asked me what was wrong with my body that I was so skinny etc.

I don't have male friends nor do I talk to men much. I'm very introverted (people assume I'm arrogant), I quite fit the 'nerd' stereotype except the fact that nerds aren't hated as much here. I was a straight A student, University topper and never a teacher's pet. Realistically, I'm not very unattractive, although I struggle to gain weight (curvy is the standard here), I kinda fit my country's face and skin tone standards. People say I'm generous. Then why does this happen?

[genericname85]

cause you probably are looking for confident and competent men. most women love that. but there's a lot of overlap between these traits and arrogance or conceit. it's sometimes hard to distinguish. also they often come together. so that's why you often end up with these unfavourable traits. cause they're very close to the ones you actually want.

[Asker]

I understand that. I like people who are like me but I end up meeting people who are mean. But what I am trying to ask is often I'm not really showing any interest in them but they're still bullying me. Like those classmates of mine, I knew them because we went to the same class and we talked first when they asked me something in the class and I replied out of courtesy. Next they started acting mean, and all my friends could see their meanness. One of them would always ask my closest friend whenever I'm absent what was the matter with me or how long I was planning to absent classes. It's not always romantic attraction, some adult guys genuinely bullying an adult woman. That's weird.

[Staximus]

Because you're tolerating this treatment and behavior and not setting boundaries

[Asker]

I have told one of them that I'd complain to police if he kept bullying me and I got rid of them that way. The problem is people say that I appear as cold and arrogant due to my introversion (I've rbf), which is automatically supposed to be off-putting. It is off-putting enough for women, I had to struggle making friends. However, these guys still tried to bully me. I thought being quiet and minding your business was enough to set boundaries but it's not so apparently.

[Anonymous]

Because those are the type of men you're attracted to obviously. Duh!

[FunkyMonkee]

Maybe you have shit taste in men.

[Asker]

No, you didn't get me, I don't like such people. Most of the times I'm not approaching them or showing interest in them, they're coming at me like bullies.

[FunkyMonkee]

Oh! I see.

[FunkyMonkee]

Next time, just say this, "No, thank you, I've already GOT ONE asshole in my panties, I don't NEED another!!"

[Asker]

Lol alright

[Gaylordslav]

Thats a sign from God trying to humble you

[Asker]

I don't think I'm not humble, I have no reason to feel any narcissistic pride. But it's been happening since when I was a kid.

[Gaylordslav]

pride is void of narcissism. Law of attraction, you get what you deserve. Thank the universe

[Asker]

No, I don't trust it. My grandma wailed when I was born because she couldn't stand the birth of a girl. I didn't deserve it. Kids beat me up at school, I didn't deserve it, I could never hurt them back. I'm not proud, I've nothing to be proud of.