Why would a lot of men have issues with me if not attractive or competing to get woman or status?

[Anonymous]

I'm okay looking (6/10 face) & I don't go out often, nor do I have any friends of either gender, nor do I talk to woman

I'm a loner true to the bone & yet for whatever reasons a lot of men either want to bully me or stir up some drama

But like I've stated before

I don't hang out with anybody of either gender or talk to females either

Im not overweight nor unkempt

I have somewhat of a "handsome young man" look

Any reasons why dudes try to stir the pot?

[SteveSmith1985]

Hmmm... well... I'm afraid I don't really have anything like a solution or explanation for what's going on here.

I do think that you're "looking at it from the wrong angle." (even if I'm unable to suggest what the "right" angle might be.,.. I can see that the one you're viewing this from is the wrong one)

You seem to be looking for explanations based on the idea of "competition among males for females."

I really really don't think that's the way to look at things when trying to figure out what's happening here.

All that bullshit about social dynamics being based on simple animal competition for mates... is wholey misguided. Not that there isn't a kernel of truth upon which some of it's based... but most of it is horseshit. It really is. Life's and social relationships cannot be boiled-down to some "chimpanzees-trying-to-fuck" type of level. Again, there's not NOTHING in looking at social relationships that way... but it's NOT the way so many misguided dudes seem to have come to believe (and only very recently too).

It's simply not an accurate reflection of what happens in real life. It's really not. Think about your own observations from your own life.

In most situations, let's say... there's an attractive new guy who has his first day at his new high-school: what happens?

Do... all the other guys see him as an interloaper who is a threat to them when it comes to their "matting opportunities"... and act like an asshole to him?

No. That generally is NOT what happens (suggesting... people aren't fucking monkeys)

It's more complicated and nuanced than that. But, in general that new attractive guy will naturally fall-into a place in the social heiarchy (which, is indeed "a thing"... just not all that alpha/beta bullshit... because, again, we aren't monkeys)

But that guy is going to end up totally being friends with most of the other "attractive popular guys" being friends with him. He isn't seen as an enemy. Not at all. Think about what you've seen in your own life.

So, I honestly don't believe that whatever is happening has a goddamn whatsoever to do with how attractive you are, or being seen as a threat. You're just barking-up-the-wrong-tree looking for explanations through this lense. For sure.

My first thought, is that somehow it has to do with "the type of guy" you're talking about. If, for example, you insist on hanging out at the biker-bar... eventhough that's not the type of crowd you usually hang-out-with... I can see that not going well.

But surely you haven't found guys have some sort of problem with you... for your whole life? Or in any and every situation?

I would maybe look at any differences between situations where you've found people hostile, vs ones where things went more smoothly for you.

I don't know what's going on here. But it's not guys seeing you as a threat or anything along those lines (even subconsciously).

Good luck, I hope you're able to figure things out. 🙂