Growing up, i witnessed fights at schools, malls, movies, parks etc. Why is it almost everytime dudes would fight, they shake hands after and say “We good.” Lmao i never understood that. Most Girls dont do that shit. Maybe we’re just more immature in that sense and ready to hold a grudge. Girls will go years without rekindling but dudes will be back playing video games and sports together the next hour after having fought dude 😂 Like why was y'all beating eachothers face in if it apparently wasn't as serious of an issue as we all thought #FeelFreeToList#WhatWasThePoint
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I understand not holding a grudge but i dont understand acting all cool immediately after a fight. Like one of y'all just got beat tf up 😂 Are you shaking hands out of a truce or out of fear? Girls fight dirty and rip eachothers hair and clothes. I ain't shaking her hand if she got me walking round damn near bald after 😂 imagine if she cut up the girls Louis Vuitton or something 🤣 hell nawl
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I remember when my ex got his ass beat while fighting this dude over me. I got my ass bodyslammed because i jumped into the fight 😂 I mean we were fighting a mini hulk and i couldnt stand to see him get beat up. He was about to be thrown into a river so i jumped on hulk and choked the shit outta him. He body slammed me and then these two shook hands after. Like wtf 😂 i’ll never jump in again but still
Why do a lot of men shake hands after a physical fight with each other?
That's not always true. I grew up in areas where fights were very common. I've seen some brutal fights of men knocking other guys out and even hitting them when they're down, then leaving them there. Hell, I've even seen guys strip the other guy naked after knocking him out at least twice in my life. I've also seen plenty of girls fight and make up later. They usually don't tend to make up right directly after the fight though. However, I am aware of what you're talking about though, as it does happen a lot. With men, I think it's because men have a tendency to fight over petty shit that's easily forgivable and the fight is mostly a way to "settle" things, for a lack of a better word. It's more of a macho way of solving a problem, asserting dominance, and showing respect for each other for actually being "man enough" to solve it. Us women don't have that mentality. It's not about "being man enough" to solve a problem because we're not men or macho. Oftentimes, when we fight, it's usually over something unforgivable, at least in my experiences. Either someone stole our boyfriend, had sex with our husband and knew we were together, stole money or something valuable from us, set us up or someone we cared about and put us in a dangerous situation, jumped another female family member of ours, and so on.
For example, a few years back, I fought a girl that was supposed to have been my friend after she stole money and my debit cards from my purse during a party. There is no way we would ever make up after that because, I don't just want to solve a problem or dispute physically; I want to fuck you up. When that happens, us women don't want to be friends after the fight because you proved you're not friendship material for that. It's unforgivable. However, I still definitely have seen women make up and become friends after fighting over more petty things like social media shit talking. Of course, they don't usually hug right directly after the fight, but I've seen them apologize and make up later. Another reason I would say this happens is because women tend to be more emotional than men in certain ways. A woman after a fight, especially the one that lost, is more likely to be feeling a certain type of way when it's over and might not be in the mood to hug it out right then, whereas a man would at least have the mental capacity to show some respect afterwards, even while he's bleeding and can barely stand up.
Damn this was deep but you're right. Their fights are probably petty. But still, my ex shook the hands of the guy he fought for trying to steal me. I dont get that
@DizzyDesii: To be honest, it sounds like your ex was intimidated. That's probably why he did it. I'm assuming the guy that beat him up was the one that offered the handshake, wasn't he?
Honestly, I have no idea. I feel like the reason why boys just become friends again just like that after a fight might be because girls fight physiologically. Like talking behind your back, etc and you don’t fight till the last minute and on rare occasions so if you do you just have all that built up anger. Which will be harder to let go off
We get pissed off, we expend testosterone, and then we cool down. Men and women are just wired differently, I guess. You ladies typically hold a grudge, as you said. You fight dirty. Guys usually don't do either of those things.
Look at other animals in nature. With many species, the female will absolutely tear a threat to shreds, and won't stop until they're dead. Obviously, this doesn't apply to every species, but for those that do, it's either an ingrained response to protect the children, or the desire to eliminate a rival.
Males of the species typically fight for dominance, and breeding rights, depending on the species. It's a challenge for superiority. There is a challenge, and it's dealt with to establish a clear hierarchy. Men are sort of the same way. We beat the piss out of each other, establish a victor, and that's it. The challenge has been met, and concluded.
We don't have that same ingrained desire to eliminate the competition, just to prove our superiority over them. It can apply to anything from a schoolyard brawl to a battlefield. After it's concluded, their is a sense of respect between the two. Sure, the loser might be smarting from it, but he can still ackowlege the superior "warrior".
To show that the fight is over. We had conflicting opinions, strongly conflicting ones. The victor of the fight had the stronger, and more valid opinion, even if it was 2+2=5, he's right. We called it taking off rank and going to the tree-line in the Marines. Plays out like it sounds, you take off your blouse with rank (just never trust an officer with that), go to the tree-line, kick the shit out of each other, and the winner was right, put your blouse back on and it's back to work. No hard feelings. Pretty easy since NCO and staff NCOs have more combat experience lol
Shaking hands, that's part of a ritual saying "hey, I'm not going to ambush and kill you later" that 2+2 shit is over and behind us, we might not be friends, but you don't have to look over your shoulder, and neither do I.
It could be bowing, kneeling, whatever is appropriate to the culture. If it doesn't happen, even a token apology between each other, that you were both in the wrong, someone has to be killed or disabled. Doesn't have to be shaking hands, just some way of saying that the fight ended the hostility.
If you're unsure about that, it's better to just ambush and take out your enemy before they can do the same to you, or make you lose any sleep.
Someone else mentioned this and i didn't understand. But you worded it better so i get it now— “Shaking hands, that's part of a ritual saying "hey, I'm not going to ambush and kill you later" that 2+2 shit is over and behind us, we might not be friends, but you don't have to look over your shoulder, and neither do I.”
Well, it's impolite to mention what happens if the difference doesn't have a resolution through fighting. Resolution or escalation. The problem gets solved, or the problem gets solved. It's why we look down so much on "sore-losers", it isn't because they aren't suffering stoically, they're dangerous and best avoided.
They're also the types to hide behind/create bureaucracy and try to make the lives of others miserable rather than simply say what the problem is so it can be resolved. Guys instinctively do not want to work with, for, or be around them. I could go on and on, but it would go far out of bounds of the original question.
Getting in a fight is usually an extreme scenario that takes balls to engage in. Ideally, you gain respect for the dude for backing his mouth up with his hands, because a lot of people flap gums but aren’t really about that action. So it’s kind of just like “alright, we had differences, we boxed it out, kept it honorable, and I respect your scraps. Let’s move on from here.” I’ve even become friends with dudes I fought when I was younger, haha. It’s just like “aight, good scrap, you’re for real, respect👊“
You did what you needed to do and now its done. This is why men get along and women don't, we force the confrontation on what ever issue we are having, if it cannot be resolved by any other means it gets physical. After that you shake hands (not always but its not uncommon either) to repair damages done and show that the issue has been resolved and we can all move on. Women don't do this (they don't do this in combat sports either) and as a result they hold onto a lot of animosity and hate after wards.
haven't seen it, but it is a show of respect and "I've had enough". I would have shaken hands with a kid that evolved into a slab boxing contest. I didn't want to fight him because I knew I hurt his feelings and just wanted to make amends, so I let him beat me with what I couldn't block. In hindight, wish I had made amends with him and shock hands, would have been something to improve his life. He's long since dead... not many black kids survived to my 25th graduation of H. S.. They grew up in a terrible environment.
Props to you most girls will never join a fight if they saw their boyfriend's shit getting kicked in. Usually the women will just stand there and watch scream and not help at all so Props to you. However the story you told does not sound like the average fight a guy would have. Guys can be very forgiving and have different values than most women have. So the value of losing your best friend of 5 years because of one fight doesn't weigh out to them. Maybe because they're actually lonely and don't want to lose that friend. Many times actually most the times I've seen guys just have more respect for each other after a fight then before one. Now they can trust each other. I used to think my best friend was a Weird back in six grade now we've been friends for however many years because we both graduated high school one year ago.
I'd say that fighting is how guys communicate and be social with each other. Like in antman
I feel like after girls argue with each other, they sometimes have the same effect like emotions are out of the system and now that we shared how we feel we can move on
Well, I dont know but I seen girls get into some wild beat downs. Myself I was almost jumped by about 20 and my friend was Timbalanded up by whole crew of Spanish people.
@Coulis Interesting 🤔 I'm guessing I assume a fast recovery after an argument but it's merely an assumption
Maybe it's an idea from movies but I feel like guys are faster to hold a grudge than girls and they are faster to move on from something but that's not the case 100 percent of the time either.
But on tv or movies, it's the guy that doesn't understand why a group of girls were ok now, did not they just get into an argument yesterday and girls are trying to encourage guys to make up with people faster.
I thjnk think girls build up resentment and lean towards passi e aggressivity. But I know men pwrsonally who can hold a grudge for a decade and will have a plan to exact their revenge.
The shaking of hands it's a mutual respect thing. Signifying that the mutually agreed upon fight is over with and everything that needed to be said was said with our fists and we're cool now.
It's sort of like how males are in the wild in different animals species. There is a challenge, and it's dealt with to establish a clear hierarchy. Men are sort of the same way. We beat the piss out of each other, establish a victor, and that's it. The challenge has been met, and concluded.
That and men just solve problems and bond over fighting if I'm being honest it's just ingrained in us.
I will say it really depends on the individuals fighting. Most guys with some sense of honour fight to end a problem and put it behind.
Other guys tend to fight out of pettines or immaturity.
A honourable guy's mind set is like that of a soldier. A soldier will fight his enemy to the bitter end but if they both survive the war, in times of peace you will find them having a drink together as if they were buddies. They know in times of war they are fighting for a purpose beyond them but in peace times, There is no reason to take it personally. They were never personal enemies before any way.
In general: Most guys don't hold grudges. And even if we do it's not as deep/long lasting as how a woman can. Why? Because we say what is on our mind. There's less pretending.
Just based on what you shared: Your boyfriend was dumb to fight another guy who wanted you. You must have contributed to it by giving the other guy the impression that he had a chance. Probably multiple times. If your ex was wise he would've realized that you weren't as loyal to him as he was to you.
Um no. I was very loyal. It turned out that he was the one cheatin (which i didn't know at the time) and the other guy told me he’d treat me better (which he clearly knew what i didn't). So how about you restate that
A real fight is done to break bones. I have never had a real fight though, just these, where we shook hands at the end. Because it was a fight due to some misunderstanding and the fight was with some close friend. Also, it was school and he was pestering me. So, such fights are not fights, just blowing off the air. You're talking about shaking hands. In India, bros would hug each other after landing punches sometimes. Two of my best friends did that. lol...
Because you both threw hands, and at the end of the day that person met you like a man and had the balls to go up against you. Gotta respect that.
Also it's a way of making sure the grudge is finished. You kick someone's ass and offer your hand its like saying "I'm done if you're done" now neither of you have to look over eachother shoulder.
It may sound made up or cringy, but unless one of the two is a pipsqueak absolutely in fear of any form of violence, fighting is one way in which we communicate. There's much more than bruising each other up behind a fisticuff, especially if it was born from something smarter than having looked a bit too intently at someone else's girlfriend. What frightens me is that men are becoming more and more shallow, and they now strike at each other for none such reasons.
It's an evolutionary thing. The primary behavioral difference between us and the chimps (either kind, actually, now that I think about it) is how well our adult males get along; it's a big part of why we've built the giant societies we have. The hand shaking is a mutual signal that the fight is over; while it may be opened up again at a later point, it'll be on the same or similar terms- no stabbing in the back later on.
It’s how men resolve their differences and conflicts through fair combat. I do martial arts and there is an old saying, having a conversation with our fists only can sometimes create an understanding between fighters.
We fight , we kick each other’s ass, we dust each other and shake it on to put it behind us then get a beer afterwards 😅
Because the purpose of the fight is to resolve the conflict, to let out the anger you hold to each other. If you still hold a grudge after losing the fight, you are just immature bitch, the result is not even the point.
I don't think for girls fighting is the most natural way to resolve conflict so it doesn't work for them and they still hold the same if not even bigger grudge afterwards.
Never been in a real fight, been in beatings where I got jumped from behind and woke up in the ER.
I never witnesses any hand shaking either for those that did fight, they seemed to devolve into blood feuds. No matter who won or lost, it was going to escalate to the next level later on.
Only people I've seen shake hands are professionals in the boxing ring, etc.
I'm not one to shake hands after a fight. If I'm fighting then it means the person I'm fighting is a danger to me or a loved one. I do not fight in tournaments or anything where a fight would be sportsmanlike. If I'm fighting, then one of us is dying or going to the hospital afterwards. This is assuming some random fight. If I'm fighting someone while on duty, then I'm doing so to get them subdued. In either case, I'm not fighting a fight where handshakes are needed.
It’s a sign of respect. Yeah you pissed me off, but we both let it all out. I don’t want to cause serious bodily harm but I made a point and you made a point. We both got caught in the moment and shit happens. I respect you for throwing down and fighting back. We got the aggression and frustration out... Let’s just shake hands and move on. That’s the mentality I had growing up
This might happen in a fair fight arranged to settle a dispute. But on the streets, there's no "fairness" and certainly no hand shaking, there's only violence and injury and more violence. A fight that ends in a handshake was never really a true fight, is was just an argument settled with fists and feet. You'll know when you see a "real" fight, because one of them will walk away, and the other will be bleeding out on the ground.
What really that's not what I witnessed I would see them try and kill each other and once in awhile they did kill the other person but if that's what there doing now instead of killing each other or beating someone so bad they end up in a hospital good cause I would rather see that then a gun fight
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