Growing up, i witnessed fights at schools, malls, movies, parks etc. Why is it almost everytime dudes would fight, they shake hands after and say “We good.” Lmao i never understood that. Most Girls dont do that shit. Maybe we’re just more immature in that sense and ready to hold a grudge. Girls will go years without rekindling but dudes will be back playing video games and sports together the next hour after having fought dude 😂 Like why was y'all beating eachothers face in if it apparently wasn't as serious of an issue as we all thought #FeelFreeToList#WhatWasThePoint
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+1 y
I understand not holding a grudge but i dont understand acting all cool immediately after a fight. Like one of y'all just got beat tf up 😂 Are you shaking hands out of a truce or out of fear? Girls fight dirty and rip eachothers hair and clothes. I ain't shaking her hand if she got me walking round damn near bald after 😂 imagine if she cut up the girls Louis Vuitton or something 🤣 hell nawl
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+1 y
I remember when my ex got his ass beat while fighting this dude over me. I got my ass bodyslammed because i jumped into the fight 😂 I mean we were fighting a mini hulk and i couldnt stand to see him get beat up. He was about to be thrown into a river so i jumped on hulk and choked the shit outta him. He body slammed me and then these two shook hands after. Like wtf 😂 i’ll never jump in again but still
Why do a lot of men shake hands after a physical fight with each other?
That's not always true. I grew up in areas where fights were very common. I've seen some brutal fights of men knocking other guys out and even hitting them when they're down, then leaving them there. Hell, I've even seen guys strip the other guy naked after knocking him out at least twice in my life. I've also seen plenty of girls fight and make up later. They usually don't tend to make up right directly after the fight though. However, I am aware of what you're talking about though, as it does happen a lot. With men, I think it's because men have a tendency to fight over petty shit that's easily forgivable and the fight is mostly a way to "settle" things, for a lack of a better word. It's more of a macho way of solving a problem, asserting dominance, and showing respect for each other for actually being "man enough" to solve it. Us women don't have that mentality. It's not about "being man enough" to solve a problem because we're not men or macho. Oftentimes, when we fight, it's usually over something unforgivable, at least in my experiences. Either someone stole our boyfriend, had sex with our husband and knew we were together, stole money or something valuable from us, set us up or someone we cared about and put us in a dangerous situation, jumped another female family member of ours, and so on.
For example, a few years back, I fought a girl that was supposed to have been my friend after she stole money and my debit cards from my purse during a party. There is no way we would ever make up after that because, I don't just want to solve a problem or dispute physically; I want to fuck you up. When that happens, us women don't want to be friends after the fight because you proved you're not friendship material for that. It's unforgivable. However, I still definitely have seen women make up and become friends after fighting over more petty things like social media shit talking. Of course, they don't usually hug right directly after the fight, but I've seen them apologize and make up later. Another reason I would say this happens is because women tend to be more emotional than men in certain ways. A woman after a fight, especially the one that lost, is more likely to be feeling a certain type of way when it's over and might not be in the mood to hug it out right then, whereas a man would at least have the mental capacity to show some respect afterwards, even while he's bleeding and can barely stand up.
Damn this was deep but you're right. Their fights are probably petty. But still, my ex shook the hands of the guy he fought for trying to steal me. I dont get that
@DizzyDesii: To be honest, it sounds like your ex was intimidated. That's probably why he did it. I'm assuming the guy that beat him up was the one that offered the handshake, wasn't he?
Honestly, I have no idea. I feel like the reason why boys just become friends again just like that after a fight might be because girls fight physiologically. Like talking behind your back, etc and you don’t fight till the last minute and on rare occasions so if you do you just have all that built up anger. Which will be harder to let go off
We get pissed off, we expend testosterone, and then we cool down. Men and women are just wired differently, I guess. You ladies typically hold a grudge, as you said. You fight dirty. Guys usually don't do either of those things.
Look at other animals in nature. With many species, the female will absolutely tear a threat to shreds, and won't stop until they're dead. Obviously, this doesn't apply to every species, but for those that do, it's either an ingrained response to protect the children, or the desire to eliminate a rival.
Males of the species typically fight for dominance, and breeding rights, depending on the species. It's a challenge for superiority. There is a challenge, and it's dealt with to establish a clear hierarchy. Men are sort of the same way. We beat the piss out of each other, establish a victor, and that's it. The challenge has been met, and concluded.
We don't have that same ingrained desire to eliminate the competition, just to prove our superiority over them. It can apply to anything from a schoolyard brawl to a battlefield. After it's concluded, their is a sense of respect between the two. Sure, the loser might be smarting from it, but he can still ackowlege the superior "warrior".
To show that the fight is over. We had conflicting opinions, strongly conflicting ones. The victor of the fight had the stronger, and more valid opinion, even if it was 2+2=5, he's right. We called it taking off rank and going to the tree-line in the Marines. Plays out like it sounds, you take off your blouse with rank (just never trust an officer with that), go to the tree-line, kick the shit out of each other, and the winner was right, put your blouse back on and it's back to work. No hard feelings. Pretty easy since NCO and staff NCOs have more combat experience lol
Shaking hands, that's part of a ritual saying "hey, I'm not going to ambush and kill you later" that 2+2 shit is over and behind us, we might not be friends, but you don't have to look over your shoulder, and neither do I.
It could be bowing, kneeling, whatever is appropriate to the culture. If it doesn't happen, even a token apology between each other, that you were both in the wrong, someone has to be killed or disabled. Doesn't have to be shaking hands, just some way of saying that the fight ended the hostility.
If you're unsure about that, it's better to just ambush and take out your enemy before they can do the same to you, or make you lose any sleep.
Someone else mentioned this and i didn't understand. But you worded it better so i get it now— “Shaking hands, that's part of a ritual saying "hey, I'm not going to ambush and kill you later" that 2+2 shit is over and behind us, we might not be friends, but you don't have to look over your shoulder, and neither do I.”
Well, it's impolite to mention what happens if the difference doesn't have a resolution through fighting. Resolution or escalation. The problem gets solved, or the problem gets solved. It's why we look down so much on "sore-losers", it isn't because they aren't suffering stoically, they're dangerous and best avoided.
They're also the types to hide behind/create bureaucracy and try to make the lives of others miserable rather than simply say what the problem is so it can be resolved. Guys instinctively do not want to work with, for, or be around them. I could go on and on, but it would go far out of bounds of the original question.
Getting in a fight is usually an extreme scenario that takes balls to engage in. Ideally, you gain respect for the dude for backing his mouth up with his hands, because a lot of people flap gums but aren’t really about that action. So it’s kind of just like “alright, we had differences, we boxed it out, kept it honorable, and I respect your scraps. Let’s move on from here.” I’ve even become friends with dudes I fought when I was younger, haha. It’s just like “aight, good scrap, you’re for real, respect👊“
You did what you needed to do and now its done. This is why men get along and women don't, we force the confrontation on what ever issue we are having, if it cannot be resolved by any other means it gets physical. After that you shake hands (not always but its not uncommon either) to repair damages done and show that the issue has been resolved and we can all move on. Women don't do this (they don't do this in combat sports either) and as a result they hold onto a lot of animosity and hate after wards.
haven't seen it, but it is a show of respect and "I've had enough". I would have shaken hands with a kid that evolved into a slab boxing contest. I didn't want to fight him because I knew I hurt his feelings and just wanted to make amends, so I let him beat me with what I couldn't block. In hindight, wish I had made amends with him and shock hands, would have been something to improve his life. He's long since dead... not many black kids survived to my 25th graduation of H. S.. They grew up in a terrible environment.
I'd say that fighting is how guys communicate and be social with each other. Like in antman
I feel like after girls argue with each other, they sometimes have the same effect like emotions are out of the system and now that we shared how we feel we can move on
Well, I dont know but I seen girls get into some wild beat downs. Myself I was almost jumped by about 20 and my friend was Timbalanded up by whole crew of Spanish people.
@Coulis Interesting 🤔 I'm guessing I assume a fast recovery after an argument but it's merely an assumption
Maybe it's an idea from movies but I feel like guys are faster to hold a grudge than girls and they are faster to move on from something but that's not the case 100 percent of the time either.
But on tv or movies, it's the guy that doesn't understand why a group of girls were ok now, did not they just get into an argument yesterday and girls are trying to encourage guys to make up with people faster.
I thjnk think girls build up resentment and lean towards passi e aggressivity. But I know men pwrsonally who can hold a grudge for a decade and will have a plan to exact their revenge.
The shaking of hands it's a mutual respect thing. Signifying that the mutually agreed upon fight is over with and everything that needed to be said was said with our fists and we're cool now.
It's sort of like how males are in the wild in different animals species. There is a challenge, and it's dealt with to establish a clear hierarchy. Men are sort of the same way. We beat the piss out of each other, establish a victor, and that's it. The challenge has been met, and concluded.
That and men just solve problems and bond over fighting if I'm being honest it's just ingrained in us.
I will say it really depends on the individuals fighting. Most guys with some sense of honour fight to end a problem and put it behind.
Other guys tend to fight out of pettines or immaturity.
A honourable guy's mind set is like that of a soldier. A soldier will fight his enemy to the bitter end but if they both survive the war, in times of peace you will find them having a drink together as if they were buddies. They know in times of war they are fighting for a purpose beyond them but in peace times, There is no reason to take it personally. They were never personal enemies before any way.
Props to you most girls will never join a fight if they saw their boyfriend's shit getting kicked in. Usually the women will just stand there and watch scream and not help at all so Props to you. However the story you told does not sound like the average fight a guy would have. Guys can be very forgiving and have different values than most women have. So the value of losing your best friend of 5 years because of one fight doesn't weigh out to them. Maybe because they're actually lonely and don't want to lose that friend. Many times actually most the times I've seen guys just have more respect for each other after a fight then before one. Now they can trust each other. I used to think my best friend was a Weird back in six grade now we've been friends for however many years because we both graduated high school one year ago.
In general: Most guys don't hold grudges. And even if we do it's not as deep/long lasting as how a woman can. Why? Because we say what is on our mind. There's less pretending.
Just based on what you shared: Your boyfriend was dumb to fight another guy who wanted you. You must have contributed to it by giving the other guy the impression that he had a chance. Probably multiple times. If your ex was wise he would've realized that you weren't as loyal to him as he was to you.
Um no. I was very loyal. It turned out that he was the one cheatin (which i didn't know at the time) and the other guy told me he’d treat me better (which he clearly knew what i didn't). So how about you restate that
A real fight is done to break bones. I have never had a real fight though, just these, where we shook hands at the end. Because it was a fight due to some misunderstanding and the fight was with some close friend. Also, it was school and he was pestering me. So, such fights are not fights, just blowing off the air. You're talking about shaking hands. In India, bros would hug each other after landing punches sometimes. Two of my best friends did that. lol...
Because you both threw hands, and at the end of the day that person met you like a man and had the balls to go up against you. Gotta respect that.
Also it's a way of making sure the grudge is finished. You kick someone's ass and offer your hand its like saying "I'm done if you're done" now neither of you have to look over eachother shoulder.
It may sound made up or cringy, but unless one of the two is a pipsqueak absolutely in fear of any form of violence, fighting is one way in which we communicate. There's much more than bruising each other up behind a fisticuff, especially if it was born from something smarter than having looked a bit too intently at someone else's girlfriend. What frightens me is that men are becoming more and more shallow, and they now strike at each other for none such reasons.
It's an evolutionary thing. The primary behavioral difference between us and the chimps (either kind, actually, now that I think about it) is how well our adult males get along; it's a big part of why we've built the giant societies we have. The hand shaking is a mutual signal that the fight is over; while it may be opened up again at a later point, it'll be on the same or similar terms- no stabbing in the back later on.
It’s how men resolve their differences and conflicts through fair combat. I do martial arts and there is an old saying, having a conversation with our fists only can sometimes create an understanding between fighters.
We fight , we kick each other’s ass, we dust each other and shake it on to put it behind us then get a beer afterwards 😅
Because the purpose of the fight is to resolve the conflict, to let out the anger you hold to each other. If you still hold a grudge after losing the fight, you are just immature bitch, the result is not even the point.
I don't think for girls fighting is the most natural way to resolve conflict so it doesn't work for them and they still hold the same if not even bigger grudge afterwards.
Never been in a real fight, been in beatings where I got jumped from behind and woke up in the ER.
I never witnesses any hand shaking either for those that did fight, they seemed to devolve into blood feuds. No matter who won or lost, it was going to escalate to the next level later on.
Only people I've seen shake hands are professionals in the boxing ring, etc.
I'm not one to shake hands after a fight. If I'm fighting then it means the person I'm fighting is a danger to me or a loved one. I do not fight in tournaments or anything where a fight would be sportsmanlike. If I'm fighting, then one of us is dying or going to the hospital afterwards. This is assuming some random fight. If I'm fighting someone while on duty, then I'm doing so to get them subdued. In either case, I'm not fighting a fight where handshakes are needed.
It’s a sign of respect. Yeah you pissed me off, but we both let it all out. I don’t want to cause serious bodily harm but I made a point and you made a point. We both got caught in the moment and shit happens. I respect you for throwing down and fighting back. We got the aggression and frustration out... Let’s just shake hands and move on. That’s the mentality I had growing up
This might happen in a fair fight arranged to settle a dispute. But on the streets, there's no "fairness" and certainly no hand shaking, there's only violence and injury and more violence. A fight that ends in a handshake was never really a true fight, is was just an argument settled with fists and feet. You'll know when you see a "real" fight, because one of them will walk away, and the other will be bleeding out on the ground.
What really that's not what I witnessed I would see them try and kill each other and once in awhile they did kill the other person but if that's what there doing now instead of killing each other or beating someone so bad they end up in a hospital good cause I would rather see that then a gun fight
It’s because they got their primal aggression out. It’s relieving for the male brain.
But this is only true if both guys got damage in. If one guy gets his ass kicked he’s usually more in a state of shock. Depending how defiant he is, he might still talk back to his aggressor despite being dominated. His primal ego is damaged (especially if their are witnesses). Most men fear social disapproval of looking “weak” more than the actually pain/injury of combat.
Respect. Sometimes that's just how men work things out. The other guy could easily back down but he doesn't. That takes courage. A guy who doesn't stand up for himself, fight or otherwise, is seen as less respectable. I understand it, but that's not really me. If I'm, fighting you, all I can think about is tearing your head off.
Because our feelings aren't involved in the fight like yours are. We can physically fight and compete without and feelings involved other than competition, and feelings oriented towards competition. So once the competition is over, we shake hands as we had a good time competing with them
Respect camaraderie... Many people don’t understand the intimacy of fighting somebody. It’s an unusual bond. No its not sexual... I think the matrix said it best. You really don’t know someone until you fight them
Male ego is lethal. It's good to end things as soon as possible. That's why I don't fight unless I am pushed way over the normal limit. It's not good to fight. I have seen guys act bold and powerful for no reason in front of their girlfriend. I never understand it. I accidently bumped into a guy once while talking to my friend and he was acting like it was my fault while at the same time, he was also talking with his girlfriend. And when I looked at him, he got really angry for no reason and was acting like some big shot. Doesn't make sense to me.
I watched the video from the pictures. These two definitely didn’t want to shake hands. The grownup made them. I didn’t know this was a thing lol. I remember smacking a bully in the nose in 10th grade under his house because he tried to intimidate my younger cousin at school. I didn’t shake his hand afterwards, that’s for sure.
“Good fight man. I didn’t know you had the much power in you. I’m still upset with you for messing with my girl and I’ll speak to her about it. But I see you can hold it down”
In my culture we all do it including females. From small kid to high school and sometimes beyond. But yes we become extra close after. Growing up in a warrior nation unlike American culture its all to common. Interestingly enough tho I believe that times of disrespect or just acting up in a wrong way about another will be full. contact time in the here and now.
It depends on the conditions of the fight. If it's premeditated and they know each other, they may shake hands afterwards. Otherwise, no. It also depends on the severity of the hostility they have towards each other. If the fight is particularly brutal, there likely won't be any handshaking.
And a lot of men do not take fighting lightly and are not inclined to shake hands. Fighting is very serious business. When you beat a man up, you do far worse than physically harm him: you're cutting him down psychologically by displaying domination over him in the most brutal manner imaginable. This ain't shit men take lightly.
The best man, won.. A real man will recognize that, and recognized that the conflict is over.. They already beat the aggression out, and now that's it's gon we have mutual respect for each other.. 😎👉..
Usually they do these kinds of things in sports like karate to show respect or whatver.. i think, just a guess. I've never seen this at school, maybe it's a black thing? (assuming from the pictures) I live in Europe so if there is a fight, then there is a fight lol. Unless they were drunk or just fighting playfully i dunno why they would shake hands after.
Most of the time it's because we know eachother and had a little beef. And a fight needed to happen. But if we don't know the person it's to say, no hard feelings. And we are done. If they don't shake hands that means the beef will continue. Until one of you are dead. #codeofthestreets
If you say so. But it's more of a respect thing. Like maybe, someone slept with the wrong girl. Or, hustled in the wrong area. Or stole from the wrong person. Lol. And so many other examples. Lol
After we fight then it’s finished then and there no grudges held no hard feelings it’s over and done. Shaking hands means there’s no ill will between us
its away of saying you got me, we know we lost the fight and its a signal that there are no more hard feeling so next time we see each other were not in each others face.
That image is from a video where a passerby intervenes and tells them to quit fighting and shake each other's hands. They did it because they were told to.
This may only be in the YouTube world... In my days of sport fighting of course we shook hands but in the 100s if not 1000s of fights i saw bartending it NEVER ended in a hand shake. 😮 Alcohol doesn't help in those situations...
Youtube world? Lol i dont even watc youtube. Im talking about fights in HS and college. And in a sports fight, i understand. But i meant fights with people outside of tv
Fighting can be a means of establing your position in a social structure. It doesn't make sense to make enemies in a group you want to join/back you up.
https://youtu.be/Yoq9Syijdxk Go to any airshow that features WW2 Warbirds. WE restore Jap Zeros, Nazi boyfriend 109's and Soviet MIG 15's. It's because they were worthy warriors. And (OMFG NO!) we accept the Battle Jack of the Army of Northern Virginia (Lee's) because they were warriors. I live here. That ain't nevuh goin' be "cancelled".
It's mostly cause at the end of the fight you've kind of blown off all the anger. Moreover, if the person had heart/courage I gain respect for them. So the hand shake if a symbol that the argument ends here and we respect each other.
It's a guy thing. I've not been in a situation where I had to throw a punch in over 30 years, but even back then after I knocked the guy down I offered my hand afterwards.
After you fight somebody a couple of things happen. You have just worked a lot of aggression out of your system and you have developed a healthy respect for your opponent.
Because that's how we resolve conflicts. Conflict is over, you didn't back down like a pussy and took responsibility, you're good now. Respect for that.
I did a poll on gag about justice. According to men, justice is closer to reconciliation than to revenge. Whereas all girls who voted in the poll said that justice is close to revenge (it is, but thats their opinion).
Us guys don't hold a grudge. I've only been in 2 fist fights my whole life. After we fought out our differences and relieved the tension we shook hands as a peace offering. There was no hard feelings between us.
Regarding second update. In that instance I would not have shaken his hand. Any guy that hurts a woman deserves to get hit with a pipe or something. Don't lay a hand on my woman or any woman for that matter
And this is why young men need fathers in their lives. If two men fight, it's because neither of them were bitches. A man who can throw a punch, take a punch, and won't back down deserves respect whether he won or lost.
Once it's done it's done. What has happened is over. Some athletes are like this. We will do everything we can to win during the game but we're friends outside of the game. Once the fight is done we've made out point.
You literally answered it; y'all hold a grudge, where as (at least in my experiences) men are taught that holding a grudge is poor form. You have a problem? Hash it out, be it physically or not, and drive on.
Over here that esists. Especially fotball supporters give each other rendez-vous for a fight between clans of different clubs. They fight for fun and accept the injuries. It's ridiculous but it happens ☹👹👹
I'm not aware of this phenomenon, but I'd assume it's out if respect. They both acknowledge that they're willing to get down and dirty and they admire that about each other.
True story.. I was seeing a girl who had sex with a friend of mine after we got in a physical fight we shook hands ( don't ask why?). Now we are close friends
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