Why did he change when he was so kind to me as teens? Did I misinterpret him?

[Anonymous]

It’s almost like he saw me when nobody else did because I was sort of a loner. He wasn’t and girls liked him etc. But he was genuinely kind … he listened when no one else did, he changed the page of my book when it was on the wrong page , he complimented me, he had his sister to talk to me when no one else did. And our mothers exchanged numbers for carpooling. I never forgot it after all these years

he's married now with a family and I reached out to thank him and I was left on seen. I wonder why he changed especially when I didn’t think it was anything more than nice niceness

He was just being kind

It was more than kindness

[glennos89]

Did you consider that you might have caused problems between him and his wife or that he chooses not to engage with you to prevent getting relationship issues with his wife because she might be jealous?

I think he chooses for his family because you might become a threat to his marriage in his mind and therefore chooses for having no contact with you instead of taking the risk to do so🤷🏼‍♂️

He has a special place in your heart obviously that's understandable but I think he chooses not to risk his marriage for having contact with you honestly. Jealousy is a big problem in many relationships we all know that

[Asker]

I’ve never been in one or been loved so I think I looked at it differently. I hope I didn’t

[Asker]

And no he doesn’t have a special place in my heart

[glennos89]

You think about him being so nice to you back in the days so that's something special then right?

[Asker]

Not really lol especially if he’s ignoring me now. I don’t remember him that much anyway but if his marriage falls apart because of that then it was never stable.. I congratulated him on their union and wished them well. Her insecurities is not my issue. I’ve never said or done anything remotely inappropriate but I should have just not reached out

[glennos89]

Her insecurities definitely are not your problem but theirs. You are free to reach out to everyone and its really up to them what to do with it although a response would be the respectful thing to do. But ignoring means usually not interested or thrust issues within the relationship

Maybe you should tell him that you would appreciate it if he would let you know when he is not interested at least, just to call him out? 🤔

[Asker]

Why would I want a married man interested? I’m sure he’s not interested but I did feel some type of way about it and I did call him out on it and called him an asshole then he responded with “camp?”

No acknowledgment to my message on thanking him just “camp?” I said yes ect… he left it on seen for hours and I figured he was never going to respond so I went off and i shouldn’t have I should have let it go but it triggered me because I feel like I didn’t deserve asshole treatment and I explained to him that it wasn’t like that…

And I said wow you’re threatened by a kind message but not my cousin you follow who shakes her ass? Like uh okay

[glennos89]

Honestly you deserve better then being threated like that. But a lot of guys who are in a relationship will be carefull because woman hate other woman and jealousy is always around the corner when other woman are having contact with their guy

[Asker]

That’s understandable. I know one guy said in the comments “he’s still in love with you “ but uhh I doubt that.

[RandomUser1000]

I don't know, but maybe his wife has issues with him talking to other girls?

Even if it's just being nice/friendly, maybe she gets jealous and thinks it's something more?

I don't know if it's that.
But it's the only reasonable reason I can come to think of.

[Asker]

I don’t know his wife so how am I supposed to know? I meant no harm

[Anonymous]

You did think it was more than nice niceness hence you're asking about it now and wondering if it's more.
Whether it was, God knows.

[Asker]

Just out of curiosity

[slatyb]

Probably he's still in love with you and he knew that if he started communicating with you it might affect his marriage.

[Asker]

I doubt that

[Asker]

What makes you think that?

[Asker]

@slatyb … hello

[slatyb]

I'm still in love with a woman I dated twenty years ago. She's married and so am I, but there are days when I would really love to talk to her.

[Asker]

We never dated tho… he was just in my opinion showing kindness..

[slatyb]

He had a huge crush on you.

[Asker]

I doubt it because nothing happened after… he just followed 2 of my cousins one he didn’t even know and we never exchanged numbers or he never reached out so I didn’t think so

[Asker]

So how could he have a huge crush

[Asker]

Here 🥰 this is about someone else

[jahaims]

It was weird and awkward for you to reach out so he is avoiding the situation

[Asker]

Yeah I agree. I definitely don’t think he’s in love. But I learned my lesson