Is his behavior suspicious?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of months. I asked for vacations this next 2 weeks to visit my family since we already have a national holiday this Monday and I get an extra day of vacation. My boyfriend also went to visit his family but only for the weekend. The thing is, yesterday he told me out of nowhere that he was at the beach with a couple of friends since it was his brothers birthday and it was a last minute decision. It felt weird because he didn't tell me he was even planning on going to the beach, he only told me he was already at the beach. I tried to not get angry and told him to enjoy himself. I went to bed before him and told him to have fun, good night, I love you blabla (at around 11 pm), but I woke up the next day and there was still no reply at all (8 am). I waited thinking maybe he fell asleep after drinking at the airbnb with his friends, but then he texted back at like 10 am saying he fell asleep after coming back from the bar/karaoke. I dont know if im in the wrong for being mad about him not communicating his plans with me. The thing is when I go out he always asks me to communicate everything and I do it because I know it brings him peace to know how im doing, where im going, when i get home safe etc, but when he goes out he doesn't do it, he doesn't even tell me he is going to the beach with hos friends until he is already there. I feel like i dont get the same treatment and it feels weird. When I go out he gets all anxious and he is always texting me, but when he goes out he doesn’t even text me until the next day. Am I in the wrong?

[Danny_dan92]

I understand why you’re questionable with this entire situation.




First things first, there is a possibility for a group of friends to make spontaneous plans when they link up to do something else they had plans. It can happen.




Next, he did mention he went to a bar. Now, the only possible explanation to why he didn’t respond to in the later hours of the following morning is because he got drunk while at the bar singing karaoke with his friends. But again, that is the only possible reasonable explanation.


Now to the more ominous possibility which I’m sure is why you’re suspicious of his behavior. There is a possibility he and his friends met a group of girls while out there and he linked up with one of the girls and obviously that would make him reluctant to even text you, especially when he’s engaging with her and talking to her. If say hypothetically he was doing this and she saw him texting you she more than likely would’ve cut it off right there.




So here’s my bit of advice, do not talk to him about it anymore because when it comes to you? He’s got shit to lose aka his relationship with you. Talk to his friends or the people he went out with, but do not announce it to him that you are doing so, simply ask them what happened the night before, something to note though. You do not want to approach this with a tone that sounds like you suspect him of cheating, rather bring up that you were concerned for his safety and just want to know what happened. When doing this it will show to whoever you talk to that you’re asking out of genuine care for your man (which you are, but you are also prying for information at the same time)

[bowenw]

It seems like he wants to keep close tabs on you, but wants to be unaccountable himself. If the decision to go to the beach was last-minute, he should have told you about it as soon as the decision to go was made, not when he got there. The whole things sounds a little fishy. It would be good to find out somehow if he really is at the beach.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Alex-Snow]

I think you need to sit down with him and have a talk about commitment and more importantly communication. You two have only been together for 2 months and are probably figuring things out. Are you sexually involved with him yet? If so does that change things?

[StevenMcGarrett]

Some people just make plans at the last minute and some people make plans way in advance.

[Heusus]

Nu, it's not sus @ all