If a guy tells you he has a girlfriend is that still a rejection in the truest sense?

[Anonymous]

Rejection- I’ve always thought as being someone doesn’t find you attractive or your personality etc.. but when a guy says he has a girlfriend (as in you didn’t know before), is that still a rejection in the truest sense? I know he liked me before his girlfriend.

Also why would the rejector now avoid the rejectee, isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?

I wished him well with his girlfriend, so why avoid me?

[Julie_TS]

Hmmm... no, I don't think it qualifies as rejection. More along the lines of sharing information about his current state of availability (which would be unavailable).

As far as future avoidance, maybe that could be construed as confirmation that he was in fact interested into you and wants to avoid any possible temptation? I don't know...

[Asker]

It’s really interesting you say that actually,, quite possibly. It does make me wonder the avoidance, especially after I kind of supported his relationship.

[Shiprex]

It is a safer rejection for a guy to use than just saying no. Like he's trying to give a reason as well as rejecting so it feels less bad for the recipient of the rejection. If he doesn't have a girlfriend then it still has less of a painful rejection than just saying no thanks. A blunt rejection could be seen as not even giving them a chance to impress. With the girlfriend reason/excuse it's a NO because.

[Asker]

Yes ok, so he does really have a girlfriend I’ve found out, I guess what I mean is, if he didn’t wouldn’t he have been interested, like he had shown signs of I guess?

[Shiprex]

Maybe he was only showing friendliness that you mistook for attraction. It's not uncommon for mixed signals to become incorrectly interpreted.

[Stevepro68]

Simple if he's an ethical guy. You don't do anything that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing around your girl. Even if she is not there. So if his girl knew he was chatting with another who has shown interest in him. She would most likely not be happy about that.

[Asker]

Yes that makes perfect sense, apart from the fact that he was also showing me interest, hence the reason I spoke to him about my interest and then he told me he had a girlfriend. Otherwise I wouldn’t have said anything. So I can totally accept his relationship, I’m just a bit perplexed as you why he would avoid me completely now, because I can accept he has a girlfriend.

[slatyb]

Stop worrying about why someone won't date you. It's yes or no. In this case it's a "no". Plenty of guys out there.

[Asker]

Thanks, it’s not that, it’s more why is he avoiding me? I see him daily, but it’s a bit much.

[slatyb]

Maybe he's avoiding temptation. If he is, then perhaps he should reconsider his current relationship. Where do you see him? Work? School?

[Asker]

At work

[britishbby]

Just extra information that he has a girlfriend doesn't mean it's a rejection. Depends on how much U want him lol

[Asker]

Haha, you reckon?

[britishbby]

100% everythings on the table just depends how much U want it xx depends on some things but I reckon it's possible, pm me and we're work this out for U 🤣🤣

[Asker]

Ok I’ll message you 🤣

[britishbby]

I'll wait, this'll make my work way more interesting

[OneViewpoint]

Wow, some people really don't like to hear the word "NO". No matter how gently or kindly it's delivered. He's moved on. For whatever reason. Do you really want him to spell it out for you in detail. Let it go.

[Asker]

Yeah I get that, it’s not like I can’t accept it, I accept he’s got a girlfriend, no it’s more the avoidance, when you see someone regularly and they totally avoid you or don’t even say hello, it makes me feel a bit crap.

[OneViewpoint]

Then tell him that. You respect that he has a girlfriend. You're not trying to date him. You just want things to be "normal', cordial between you. Maybe he's just uncomfortable and unsure of your intentions. So provide some clarity and see if he responds with relief and starts acting more relaxed around you.

[Asker]

Yeah I did say that I wished him well with his girlfriend and that I wouldn’t bother him anymore. Since then he’s become avoidant, but yes I could talk to him about it to be more clear.

[OneViewpoint]

Give it a shot. If he's still not "normal" around you, it's a him issue not a you issue. Just move on and let it go. Not everything can be what you want it to be. Get used to that reality.

[Asker]

Yes I get that, just a bit tricky when you see that person daily and it’s not actually civil.

[spartan55]

I really don't understand what you are driving at here. A no is a no. Move on.

[Jeff51]

Yes he has.

[Asker]

How do you mean?

[Jeff51]

I say find someone single.

[Asker]

Oh I can totally accept he has a girlfriend. Yeah I agree

[In_Trance]

How could it be anything but?

[Asker]

How do you mean?

[chocolatetwopointo]

obviously?

[Asker]

How do you mean?

[chocolatetwopointo]

what? WHY THE FUCK would a guy with a girlfriend NOT reject another woman?

[Asker]

No I don’t mean that, I meant more like if he didn’t have a girlfriend, would he still have rejected me…that’s all and just wondering why he avoids me so much.. when I told him I wished him well with her.

[chocolatetwopointo]

why do u care?

[chocolatetwopointo]

js leave him alone wtf?

[Asker]

Because I see him daily and it’s quite depressing to see someone who seemed so off with you

[chocolatetwopointo]

yeah thats life everyone isn't going to be in love with u.

[Asker]

I get that, just acknowledging someone would be something.

[chocolatetwopointo]

why?

[jahaims]

Move on your crazy