What is he trying to do? Acting strange around me even though he has a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

There’s this guy at school who used to look at me a lot when he didn’t have a girlfriend. But I already have a boyfriend, and he saw that. Now he has a girlfriend too, but whenever he sees me, he seems to get kind of down or acts like he’s ignoring me. For example, we ran into each other on the bus yesterday. His back was turned, but I was talking to another girl and it felt like he was listening to us. He kept his back to me, but it was like he was slightly turning his head, yet deliberately not facing me. Once, I was going down the stairs to enter the school, and he was just standing there on the stairs. I passed by him, and I had this strong feeling he was going to look at me. So after I passed him, I looked at him through the glass on the door on purpose — and saw that he had turned around and was watching me while stepping down a few stairs.

I really don’t get what this guy is trying to do. That’s why I’m writing here. What do you think his intentions are? Why is he acting like this even though he has a girlfriend now?

For context: we’ve never actually spoken to each other, but we’re in the same faculty and run into each other often

[spartan55]

Intentions when you've never even spoken to each other? Uh... no? You are paying WAY more attention to him than he is to you. You are someone he looks at, that's about it. You are making this into something it's not.

[Asker]

I get where you're coming from, but just because we haven't spoken doesn't mean certain behaviors don't carry meaning. I'm not saying there's something huge going on — I'm just sharing small moments that made me wonder.

Maybe you're right, maybe I'm reading into it too much. But questioning things doesn't mean I'm making it into a fantasy. It's just human curiosity.
No need to be dismissive — it's possible to give perspective without shutting someone down.

[Danny_dan92]

Uhhh… that’s not being strange.




Stop being an attention hoe. You have a boyfriend, him starring at you should be enough

[Asker]

I get that you have an opinion, and that’s fine but your tone is unnecessarily harsh. I’m not looking for attention. I just shared something that confused me, and I wanted to understand it better.

Having a boyfriend doesn’t mean I stop thinking or questioning things that affect me emotionally. It’s okay to disagree, but kindness costs nothing.

[Danny_dan92]

Why do you want other men to stare at you and act like they want you? That’s my point.

You are in a fucken relationship

[Asker]

If you think observing basic human behavior means I want attention from other men, that says more about your insecurities than it does about me.

I’m not here to stroke anyone’s ego — least of all someone who can’t tell the difference between curiosity and flirting.

Don’t project your assumptions onto me just because you don’t know how to handle your own jealousy.

[Danny_dan92]

Don’t gaslight me. You clearly are showing that you don’t like the change in his behavior because if you didn’t care for it, you wouldn’t be asking this question

[Anonymous]

You're the girl that got away

[Asker]

Maybe in another lifetime, who knows? :)

[In_Trance]

It's all in your head

[Asker]

Maybe. But sometimes what’s in your head comes from what you actually observe.

Either way, I’d rather explore a thought than ignore it and regret not understanding it better.