Advice on trust?

[plumplum-1994]

You ever have someone you’re growing close to. You tell them stuff in confidence. You’re slowly opening up to them. Telling them stuff. They do the same…? They even tell you who to trust and who not to trust. Only for you to tell them something and they go and tell the same ones they told you not to trust what you said. It sucks because you really trusted them. You thought it was more? They made it seem that way. How do you talk to them again? How can they do that? I wouldn’t have done that, I wouldn’t have betrayed your trust like that. They say they hate drama. But actions speak louder. My question is how do you act afterwards? How do you show you’re nonchalant to it? That it didn’t hurt. How does one become unbothered by it? Because man it hurts. But I have no one to blame but my own damn self. For trusting.

[SueShe]

You never trust anyone. End of story. You cannot be 100% sure that the trust you place in a person is not going to be breached.

That is why I never entrust any confidential information to anyone, not even my family because the person (s) you trust your secrets with may reveal them, albeit perhaps not on purpose, to others.

If you have been betrayed, don't be nonchalant about the situation. As a matter of fact, react and let that person know that he/she is not trustworthy and spread the news to your friends, acquaintances or family and make sure they are aware of what you think of them, even if it means having to lose that friendship.

That person will have a much harder time to cope with the fact that they are not trustworthy than you having disclosed confidential information.

[plumplum-1994]

But won’t that cause unnecessary drama and they’ll say you’re over reacting? It’s happen before where they made it seem like I was over reacting

[SueShe]

It won't cause drama since the person knows that he (or she) revealed something that they should not and that they are not reliable as a friend or confident.

[Communicationisking]

They didn't respect your honesty and openness and keep it confidential. They literally told someone that they deemed untrustworthy your between you and them stuff and it has gotten back to you some how.

I'm not sure what nonchalant means but all I see here is a one sided openness sorry... don't trust them anymore and to fuck with them if your still in contact with them make some stuff up and tell them and see if it comes back around, then you will know for sure they share everything you say.

You could have some real fun here messing with people, just don't be malicious just make up some stuff to tell that won't hurt anyone but will expose them.

Once exposed you will know where you stand in the trust thing and you can move right on and find some trustworthy people to get close to.

[plumplum-1994]

Wouldn’t this cause unnecessary drama? I get it I trusted them it’s my fault I knew better but if I approach it any other way all they can do it make it seem like I overreacted and overthought the whole situation

[bowenw]

If they betrayed your trust it is not your fault. I suggest you end the relationship as they are obviously not trustworthy.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Nikki1989]

It is best to establish boundaries and express your disappointment without creating more drama. It is not worth it.

[plumplum-1994]

How would you recommend someone does this?