Trust issues how to deal with it?

[Anonymous]

I have a boyfriend it's a new relationship but i find it difficult to trust any guy i feel scared that he might leave me randomly by making some excuse he has made lot of promises to me but i find it difficult to trust

[caring__1]

There are two aspects to trust... self-confidence and quality, clear, concise, open, honest communication. Part of communication is good observational skills.

If you feel insecure, you'll assume you're never deserving of anything, so you're likely to set up self-fulfilling prophecies... being so sure it will happen that you make it happen. If you don't want to feel insecure, ask yourself what expectations you have of yourself. Are they realistic? If not, get rid of them. If they are realistic, set a plan to improve and then measure your progress.

Be observant and clearly share what you are seeing, not your interpretation of what you are seeing. In other words, it's OK to say "I find it hard to plan for dates when I can't predict when we'll actually leave." Never say "You're always late, so you must be having an affair." If there's a discrepancy between words and actions, actions tend to be more real, so never put value on empty claims or promises.

When people talk in vague generalities, seek clarification rather than base decisions on assumptions. You can seek clarification by saying "In what way?" "How might that impact the result?" "Which do you feel would be more likely to take us toward our long-term objective?" "Give me some examples." "Where might that take us?" Never fill in the missing pieces with what you want to believe or what you fear might be. Show a legitimate desire to see things through the other person's eyes rather than insist on being heard.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, trust issues are the worst. I totally get where you're coming from though after your previous relationships. It's hard to open up again after getting burned.

A few things that might help:

- Remember this is a new guy and you can't judge him for what others did. Give him a fair chance to prove himself.

- Communicate how you're feeling instead of bottling it up. Let him know you're working on trusting again but it'll take time. An understanding dude will be patient.

- Pay attention to how he treats you day to day, not just words. Does he follow through on plans? Respond to you respectfully? Small things build trust over time.

- Don't put all your happiness on him. Make sure you have your own friends, hobbies and support system too so you don't feel so dependent.

- Couples counseling could also help if trust is a long term struggle. They can give you tools to work through issues together.

Most important is to be kind to yourself. Healing takes time. As long as you both are willing to put in effort, you got this! Keep working at it step by step. You deserve to be happy and feel secure again.

[Sasha0426]

Well, what made you want to start a relationship with him?

[motownplayer2000]

Sounds like you need to figure you ish out before being in a relationship. Because the only thing you can really do in a relationship is have faith and trust that your partner is who they say they are.. if you have trouble with that, you aren’t mature enough to be in a relationship

[Bklynbadboy12]

Honestly having trust issues isn't a bad thing. Your trust should be earned never given. If he want you trust he should earn it and he will over time if he's the right guy. Meanwhile I want you to take your time and set goals for yourself goals that make you let go of your trust issues a little more every day ok. Do you think you can do that?

[ChicoFromThe305]

I have no clue but Tina if you ever find out how to defeat it, let me know

[nawtee_me]

Trust is a two way street. To be trusted you also have to be trustworthy…

[CubaPirate]

Therapy perhaps

[dolemite58]

just kill him 🤷‍♂️