Does anybody have major trust issues? How do you manage it?

[Anonymous]

I've been in a relationship for 1 year now and my trust issues has sky rocketed. If I'm being honest, he did cheated once and we spoke about it. I think after that- he hasn't done anything for me to question him but I just cannot trust him.

I also had a really bad past relationship where my EX non-stop cheated. So I don't know if it's my past or I just really cannot trust my current boyfriend.

I'm always putting a wedge against us because I don't trust him and I verbalize that.

Do I just break up? I'm wondering if my trust issues will ever go away?

[madewithingredients]

don't commit to an inexperienced guy.

assuming your relationship isn't on the road towards ending, most guys, regardless of age, cheat because they're still curious and are not ready to settle down, or think they can get a better partner, which is kind of the same thing assuming you're a decent partner.

so, the guy who is most likely to not cheat is the guy who has already had a lot of sex/relationships and isn't curious anymore.

if he's under 30 ish and he cheats I think he can change.
if he's 30 ish plus and he cheats most likely he is not ready to commit yet.

older guys who marry/commit without already having lots of sexual experiences secretly regret it eventually. some regret it enough to think cheating might be worth it.

if your boyfriend is around your age, I think it's best to break up with him because you're not going to get over your trust issues with a guy you can't trust. you need to meet a guy who wants you, a guy who wants a relationship with YOU, rather than a guy who wants a girlfriend/relationship with SOMEONE.

[Drew-1990]

Well I can say I have trust issues to a degree. Mine are more I have a hard time opening up at the start not once I have opened up. You said he cheated on you and that has to be hard I can see why you have a harder time trusting him. Cheating is a horrible thing and I think honestly a lot of cheaters will do it again but not all some did do a stupid mistake and never again. I really think you need to figure out which he is because you can't keep up a relationship if you can't trust him. So either figure out how to trust him or break up it's not good for either of you.

[Asker]

I agree.

[rosemilk]

i have no reason not to trust my partner. BUT i don't trust someone else i won't mention. it created this lack of trust because of what they did, their actions, behavior. they can't not be in my life, so i just accept them as a person. but i don't tell them anything personal. there will always be this rift.

reading this, you said your boyfriend cheated on you once. that is enough for someone to not be trusted for life. for me, i could never come back from that. you'll forever remember that and it will forever be a hidden issue in your emotions and your relationship going forward. even if you choose to find another relationship, the past 2 guys who ruined your trust will be hard to get back. the next person will have to prove to you that they don't cheat, but that in itself is a pretty unhealthy way to go about a relationship. but if you find the right guy, i'm sure he wouldn't mind reassuring you. and if it really comes down to it, therapy can help you cope and get your trust in people back.

in the end, i'd just say move on from this guy

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the trust tango, let’s dance! That little monster called trust issues often grabs us by the feet, especially when history hasn’t been kind. First off, kudos for acknowledging the elephant in the room - it’s the first step towards taming it. Your intuition is doing the samba between past hurts and present fears, which is totally normal. Lovebombing your relationship with constant doubts, however, can lead to a cha-cha slide away from each other.

Rebuilding trust is like nurturing a delicate plant, it needs time, patience, and a whole lot of sunshine (a. k. a. open communication). Have you guys tried sitting down, maybe with a steaming cup of cocoa, and really diving deep into your feelings and fears? It’s not just about airing out the laundry but also understanding each other’s needs and how you can support each other moving forward.

Remember, your trust issues might be playing tag with you right now, but it doesn’t have to be a game-over. If the love and commitment are strong, consider seeing a relationship coach (wink wink) or therapist to guide you both through this maze. It’s all about baby steps and, who knows, maybe this journey will lead you to a place where trust isn’t just a word but the very foundation of your relationship. Keep the faith, keep talking, and let’s keep those dancing shoes on for a bit longer. 💃🕺

[Levin]

tbh, obviously just my opinion, but you should have broken up when he cheated. There are boundary issues here. You set a clear boundary for the kind of behaviour you will accept. If someone transgresses that clear boundary then it is over. I have never worried about being cheated upon because that boundary has always been clear for me. On a more practical level you obviously can't trust him. There are possibly deeper self esteem and trust issues here that need looking at, perhaps with a counsellor. If we don't value ourselves then we will always tolerate rubbish.

[MaybeTony]

I did for a moment in my life. What helped me is to visualize myself as successful outside of the relationship. If she cheats, it's her loss. My rule is that if you cheat, you're done to me. I'll forgive you, but you're out of my life. Forgiveness doesn't equate to reconciliation. Women can be more forgiving toward cheating for biological reasons, but I would never continue a relationship with a woman who cheated on me. Cheating is a turn-off to me. It showcases a glimpse into someone's character, and dips into every portion of the dark triad.

[MaybeTony]

Also, why did he cheat? If that isn't resolved, it will happen again.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Anyone who knows me, knows the most important thing in a relationship is respect. I cannot respect anyone who cheats on me, and I think trust and respect go hand in hand.

So to ask how would I manage it? I'd have to say by leaving!

Will you ever trust him again? No I don't think so. I think the next time you and he argue, the issues will resurface and will continue to do so, because there is no way he can undo the damage of the past!

[KrakenAttackin]

Most insecurities come from what we know about ourselves.

[Celticwolf78]

If he isn't willing to communicate with you time to get rid of him a relationship will only work if there is communication

[jahaims]

You got cheated on move on