Why do men tend to experience a greater emotional breakdown than women when they are dumped?

[capriVib]

I met a guy recently who said he had a girlfriend. He told me they did everything together, he introduced her to his family and so on. Then she dumped him. He said he was devastated, couldn’t tell anyone, wanted to kidnap her and if he couldn’t have her, he’d kill himself.

I told him, “Kidnapping’s not worth it. She probably has more important things going on now. You’re better off throwing yourself out a window.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It’s because men like that can’t function emotionally without women. There are men who bury their emotions so deep that they can’t allow them to show except in the presence of a girlfriend. It’s a known fact that men, on average, feel safer making emotional connections after a sexual connection has been made and for women it’s often the opposite. So when these men get comfortable in these relationships, they allow themselves to be vulnerable, they explore their emotions in a way that feels safe with their partners. Is it necessarily healthy? No, which is why his extreme response doesn’t surprise me at all. When they lose access to that seeming safe space, they collapse because they struggle to understand why they could feel safe only to have it taken away and now that ability to explore is gone. Why she dumped him, I can’t say, but I know more than a few girls with stories of trauma dumping from their boyfriends and how they realized he was using them as an emotional dumpster, which helped her realize the transactional nature of their relationship, which made her lose all attraction to him as a result.

[capriVib]

in short, it seems guy shouldn’t be emotional, otherwise grils put the final nail in the coffin of an emotional guy.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

No, guys refuse to be emotional with anyone but girls. They should be emotional with EVERYONE.

[Plugs]

Not true

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Men are taught not to show any feelings that aren’t acceptable by masculine standards, which leaves pretty much only anger. Showing more emotions and being more emotionally vulnerable with more people than just the person you’re fucking will help you grow more psychologically healthy

[class_reductionist]

@cupcakethedestroyer when we are children we are told we are a burden to society, and emotions are an imposition that add to our life-debt. we take on emotional compression as a form of dealing with things, which is usually not recognized as a form of emotional labor in itself

the framing of it being "masculine standards" is a culture war attribution from the ruling class who condition men to be emotionally precarious in order to motivate us into generating profit through emotional starvation

I agree that men should be able to rely on more people around them for emotional support, but the way this is usually framed in feminist literature/theory often has an air of "fix yourself, by yourself" from people who assert they're the only ones performing any kind of emotional labor in a relationship which foments gendered resentment

I do think the tide is generally turning where men have more room to express themselves, but you have a lot of competition from very loud "feminists" trying to reinforce utilitarian male gender expectations in addition to the well-paid reactionary influencers

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

My man, this answer is two months old. Get a life

[Anonymous]

He could have talked to her and asked what was bothering her. And changed for her. Women leave when they are not valued

[Vegasrunner]

TBH it's common sense why, it's just we live in a strange society. That only allows people to look at things through the female POV.

1 - Men invest up front - Typically a man approaches a woman so that means he has invest time and resources just to attract the lead.

2 - Men don't have a support network for breakups - If a woman breaks up wiry a man regardless of the reason, everyone runs to her defense to comfort her. When men go through breakups no one wants to hear about it and no one is coming to their defense.

3. - It's more difficult for men to acquire the next woman than it is for woman to get attention from the next man - If you loss a woman after that investment, it could be weeks or months until an average man replaces her, whereas even the most hideous woman will have men ready to shower her with attention.

Here's 3 ways to avoid this.

1. Keep multiple woman in your pipeline

2. Raise your overall value

3. Keep your relationships private.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

• "he said if he couldn’t have her, he’d kill himself."
• "I said you’re better off throwing yourself out a window"

I hope you chose someone receptive to how sickly you're timing your sense of humor 😂

About your question, I have no reason and no elements to say that men tend to experience a greater emotional breakdown in this context. Because I see no measuring device that exists to inform anyone about what people deeply feel in specific contexts. But I've heard about some stereotypes, I've heard of them coming from specific sources of influence I don't really trust. Such as popular press targeting men as an audience, or the internet equivalent of this popular press.

[capriVib]

@Maybe_Maybe_not, I researched this topic the other day and generally, men who don't have much experience with women tend to overvalue their first girlfriend and invest too much in her. The guy even told me, "She was my first girlfriend and I experienced everything with her for the first time." In this case, when they break up, it’s likely that he’ll take longer to find someone new compared to a woman, so he’s more prone to emotional breakdown. Also, I’ve never seen a woman commit suicide because of a breakup, but I’ve seen plenty of men do it. This data alone could indicate that men experience more emotional distress.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'll gladly talk about one case, but this "generally men do this and that" does not click with me. It's way too volatile.

Besides, I would not use suicide rates to make them mean anything about the reasons for committing suicide.

So I have to reiterate, I see nothing able to probe minds of so many complex and singular situations to conclude: Men experience greater sufferings than women". Or the reverse.

[DannyLeBron]

I think it depends on the guy and his attachment style. But this is partly true. I’ve noticed women usually struggle more during the first 2-3 weeks while men are like “yeah, I’m free.” Then, a month or two later, the girl has moved on and the guy starts feeling that emptiness. That’s when he often comes back trying to fill the blank space, but by then she’s already over him. Might be because guys don’t overthink as much and just live in the moment, while girls already think ahead about how they’ll feel in the coming weeks. Just my experience and what I’ve heard from friends.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

We don't have the support system and the kind of reassurance women get so of course it naturally should hurt more. Most of the time, it's always the men getting blamed for getting dumped and it's always the women who are seen as the victims.

[capriVib]

Men cannot be victims

[RavVid]

More men still expect relationships to last whilst women know they won't

[Btc95008]

Women have the ability to compartmentalize to a greater degree than men. Men who have lost a companion, often can’t fit it into a bigger picture, the are one dimensional thinkers, women on the other hand are multidimensional thinkers. As a result females are much better at shifting focus.

[HeartShapedHaze]

I think each hit the same, but they hit at different times depending on the situation if that makes any sense

[WonderingManII]

Because woman was created to be a help mate.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Honestly I'd have reported him to the police.

[capriVib]

He told me "i will make it to the news."

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

More reason to get him arrested.

[capriVib]

It was someone anonymous on the internet, I can't report them.

[Plugs]

Being kidnapped by a handsome loyal rich guy is hot to be honest

[capriVib]

They wouldn’t have left a guy with all those qualities except loyalty anyway. lol

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

@Plugs say that when you end up a broken mess in a shallow grave in the woods, or on the side of the road.

[Plugs]

A handsome loyal rich guy wouldn’t want that for me

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

@Plugs the Dubai sheiks would disagree

[Plugs]

A loyal good man would only kidnap me and love me

[noohair]

The male ego is as fragile as an egg, once broken it does not fix well.

[Zhangyuxin]

虽然无法一概而论，但一些研究和观察表明，男性在分手后更容易情绪崩溃，或者他们表达悲伤和痛苦的方式可能与女性不同。

[Anonymous]

There are men who are weak and emotionally unstable.

[blackeagle007]

You seem like you don’t know