Is this relationship worth it?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been in a 9 year relationship, no ring and no kids together even though I’ve expressed wanting those things. Recently I found out that he had hidden pictures and video of his twin brothers baby mommas boobs on his phone in a hidden photo album. They aren’t together anymore and supposedly she sent them to him to upset his twin brother. However at first his excuse for keeping the picture and video of her boobs because of curiosity and asked if I had ever fantasized about someone. The next day it was “my brother is building a case against her so I’m saving these for him as proof”. Interesting thing is these pictures were from 4 months ago. Why did he hide them and why didn’t he tell his brother? I feel so stupid even asking this. Is that cheating? And should I cut my losses?

[Hardon-Collider]

Yes, it's a form of cheating. Not in the physical sense, but in the intimate and spiritual sense. He kept those images, and then used them to test you, to make you feel like an outsider in your own relationship. He wanted you to feel like a stranger in the very space you were meant to share. This isn't about you. It's about him and his own twisted curiosity, which he used to manipulate and betray your trust. You should absolutely cut your losses. You have every reason to believe he will continue to betray you, to test your loyalty, to make you feel like a stranger in your own life. This isn't just a one-time thing; it's a pattern, and it's a sign that he is not a safe or trustworthy person for you to be with.

[Asker]

Thank you for that

[bowenw]

Guys like pictures of boobs, so having them does not seem like a good reason to leave him. Also, many people fantasize. On the other hand, if the two of them are in a relationship of some kind, that is a good reason for you to move on along with him not being willing to commit to anything serious with you.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Changiis07]

No ring and no kids after a 9 year relationship? Sounds like he is not serious, maybe this is a good thing that you haven't married or have kids if you are feeling this way. The fact that he hid them and came up with that story sounds like bs to me. If you aren't aligning then maybe it's time to leave unless you hear him out and gives you a time frame

[just_a_potato]

You are the one who decides what's worth it or not. But in my opinion from one lady to another, I wouldn't stay with a guy who can't even propose, let alone marry me after 9 years. We wouldn't even make it to the 6th. He's going to hold it off forever.

[Nikki1989]

I can guarantee that he has more than just that one picture and video. Expect the worst.

[Asker]

Why do you say that?

[spartan55]

You aren't going to do anything about it

[Wuai201]

Hurry up and leave you're almost at a decade

[In_Trance]

That depends on your sense of value

[Asker]

Valid point