Why would a guy say that he is in a relationship when he is not?

[Anonymous]

Men like to tell us that they are simple creatures. They say if he likes you, He'll tell you. But if he doesn't, he'll tell you. But why does this guy whom I've dated in the past we have a ton of History I've known him since I was 13 we didn't end on the best of terms because we were both young and we're learning to heal the unhealed parts of ourselves. We've had plans to meet and he's canceled them all last minute. Which mind you every cancelation makes sense. However I asked him how his girlfriend was because last I knew he was in a relationship and he told me they were fine and he proceeded to defend this relationship ( at the time her and her child's father were engaged, now they're married) with this woman. Only they've been broken up for over a month and he has not been with anyone else. Why not just tell me you're not interested in me?

[ManOnFire]

It's not necessarily because he's not interested in you, but he doesn't want anyone to know that his relationship ended. Lots of people lie and say they're still with the person they broke up with, for a number of reasons. To not appear single, to not appear foolish especially in the eyes of people who already doubted or disliked the relationship, or to deter others they aren't interested in.

He probably has also cancelled on you those multiple times because he knows when you guys get together that you will ask him about his relationship and he won't really know how to talk about it.

I don't think he is necessarily uninterested in you, I think he is trying to avoid discomfort at the moment.

[Crimsyjo]

He's not beong honest because your his back up plan not his number 1 goal. His goal - probably - is to try get this girlfriend any way he can. Either by her leaving her husband or trying to be her bit on the side. He doesn't want to tell you he's free and single and have you question why isn't he with you then. No matter which way you look at this it's unhealthy. He is not emotionally available to you. And your still attached to him even knowing he was in a relationship. And willing to wait around for him? No no. Best thing you can do is fully get him off your mind and out your life. Your never be happy otherwise. It's not easy and it will hurt. But hope hurts way more when it never comes up fruition. You've rode this rodeo with him too many times. You know even if you get him it won't work. Your hope is painting an illusion of him you cling to, not the reality. Let him go.

[Vevv123]

Although I’ve done this with strangers because it’s straight to the point, plus I don’t know them so they wouldn’t know if it’s true, so that’s they best way to reject strangers because it won’t hurt their feelings and they won’t ask more questions after that. Since he knows you and you evidently know his actual relationship status I think he’s doing it to either keep you there waiting as a backup or he just doesn’t have the decency to tell you (he’s a coward). If I were you I’d tell him all this you’ve said here because that way he won’t have an excuse to not explain himself, evidently he’s lying (and you know) so he’ll have no other option than to tell you the truth.

[Finchie40]

Because he isn’t interested in her that way, he just likes the friendship with her, and doesn’t want to hurt her feelings by rejecting her, Rejection is a hard pill to swallow for most people, Me personally doesn’t like rejecting anyone in a rude disrespectful way , especially a girl that I consider just a friend , I don’t want her thinking I hate her , I am just not interested in her that way , so if she shows signs of being more interested in me , I will just tell her I’m sorry I am already involved with someone else , but I like our friendship

[ohsheeT]

No you have to be the bigger person and just walk away. He will never tell you because he doesn't know what his future looks like.

So this tells me he has no plans about even making his life work the way it is right now.

So you are second choice.. and if you ever became first choice. Your still second choice because he will be the same as he is now. . And you will be the same as you are now trying to figure things out. Instead of living a happy life with someone that's know who they are and what they want in life

[D_Bone_Steak]

It could be any number of reasons. From the info given, it sounds like he might just be trying to avoid you trying to get with him. But it could just be him trying to believe his broken relationship isn't broken... denial basically, and is one of the 5 stages of grief. Outside of a death, the most I've seen people go through grief is when they've lost a relationship.

[RavVid]

It can be convenient. I did recently when an incredibly ugly prostitute made her way up to the Paris end of my street. It was a quick easy way to get rid of her.

To be fair he might have hopes of the other girl and want to keep his hands clean. I prefer to begin that way.

[slatyb]

For the same reason women don't tell me directly that they aren't interested. This is a social convention. Adults with any social skills understand that no matter what reason someone gives for not dating you, it's still a rejection.

[OneViewpoint]

Not all guys are the same. You apparently have a chicken. The guy can't cope with unpleasant conversations. Write this man baby off and move on.

[jazzy34]

Some men want to be considerate of your feelings and let you down easy. A guy I liked used that line on me. Considering your situation, though, he probably wants you to leave him alone.

[WhitneySnow]

He lied because he wanted to avoid hurting you by telling you he wasn’t interested in a relationship with you at this time

[MJVillarama]

Honestly, some people hide behind half-truths to avoid tough convos or hurting feelings. Doesn’t make it right, just means he’s probably unsure or avoiding something

[236color]

Have you ever told a guy, "I have a boyfriend " when you didn't? Same reason.

[Ninania]

Probably due to some of that unhealed trauma you mentioned. Sounds like a trauma response to defend himself against a question.

[AgentG111]

Just like women who say or yell they have a boyfriend when approached by other men even if they don't.

[Nice222]

Guys probably say that so they give the illusion that they are wanted. And therefore make a single woman jealous.
there was a 80s movie made about this.

[qwerty2469]

Because its Nathan saying "i dont like you because you are fat"

[Abbycado]

So, you want us to read minds?

[leahzrc]

sounds messy but guys lies to get in your pants

[Danny_dan92]

He isn’t interested in you

[Anonymous]

Perhaps immaturity or insecurity.

[Tangxiaoxue]

Men talk like they write novels

[Athena7_]

Possibly not interested in you.