Why do some men want a casual relationship then get upset when they are treated casually?

[Anonymous]

I don’t want a relationship at the moment. I’m moving out of the country in a few months and starting grad school. I don’t want a relationship either, but he:

• invites me to hang out with his friends
• wants to take me out
• gets annoyed when I leave him on read
• asks why I don’t casually text him “hello”
• shows signs of jealousy when I talk about other guys (even exes)
• hints at me being his plus one to a Halloween party
• asks me to go on vacation with him next year
• tries to invite himself to my solo out of town plans
• asks about my love life often
• he said that he likes quality women and referred to me as such
• he wants to cook for me
• When I sit elsewhere at lunch, he feels a way

With his last friends with benefits, he complained that she only contacted him when it was convenient for her (mainly for sex) and got mad when she ended things saying that she wanted to be just friends, then had a boyfriend the next day.

[Doomtv]

Many men say they want a casual relationship because it feels uncomplicated and less demanding. However, when they get treated with the same relaxed attitude, it can trigger unexpected emotions. Some develop genuine feelings even in a casual arrangement but struggle to voice them. Others enjoy the benefits of romance and attention without commitment, yet feel insecure if you mirror their level of detachment. This reaction often comes from double standards, fear of rejection, and difficulty handling ambivalence. Men may expect emotional perks but feel threatened when they realize casualness means less priority or exclusivity for them too. Honest conversations about expectations help set the right boundaries and avoid confusion for both.

See more about relationship expectations at target="_blank">Baggage Reclaim.

Men like freedom but miss exclusivity
Genuine emotions often develop unintentionally
Insecurity grows when treated casually
Double standards about roles create tension
Clear expectations help reduce hurt feelings

[Zack-Bann]

People want what they can’t have


The fact that you’re leaving makes you so much more desirable


I lived 22 years in my home country. Barely got a date
When I was accepted into grad school abroad and before my flight I was stacking up dates out of nowhere


The women pretended they understood that I’m leaving but then they behaved in a needy way as though trying to talk me into staying
(After 22 years of being invisible)


If I were you I would stop trying to date, casual or not, before your flight.


Once settled in the destination you can start meeting local people there
It’s so much more fun and meaningful

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[Nikki1989]

Because many don't know what they want. They are the kings of saying one thing and going for the complete opposite.

[AvaRay]

Cause they want control, not connection..

They crave the freedom of casual but still want the emotional benefits of being chosen..

It’s ego, not intimacy, they want to feel wanted without offering depth..

The moment u mirror their energy detached, calm, n unbothered, they realize casual doesn’t feed their need for significance..

They don’t actually want no strings,
They want your loyalty without commitment,
your softness without responsibility,
your attention without accountability..

N when u stop giving that?
Their pride takes the heartbreak their heart never earned..

[blackeagle007]

You seem like a female

[heruncommonsense]

@blackeagle007 "You seem like the gender that doesn't just want to commit rape and torture"

[blackeagle007]

@heruncommonsense you’re psychotic. I’m not joking

[heruncommonsense]

@blackeagle007 is it psychotic to believe the things that males say about themselves?
My dad thinks he has "visions" but no yeah you're definitely the rational gender

[blackeagle007]

@heruncommonsense you’re talking gibberish. There’s gotta be a bigger reason why you have distaste for men besides social media feeding you stuff. You thought about seeing a therapist?

[heruncommonsense]

@blackeagle007 Oh sure, there must be a bigger reason. It can't possibly be the fact that all males want to do is commit rape and torture.

[blackeagle007]

@heruncommonsense so you know every single male in the world.

[heruncommonsense]

@blackeagle007 Males admit that they are all the same. Dishonest, violent sadists.
It really is simple.

[blackeagle007]

@heruncommonsense do you have videos of them? News articles don’t count being that anyone can write false things

[heruncommonsense]

@blackeagle007 No, males type it rather than saying it. You admit that you are two-faced vipers. You do not want the truth to haunt you.

[blackeagle007]

@heruncommonsense so is it ok if I say all women are gold diggers and only go for top 5% of guys?

[heruncommonsense]

@blackeagle007 Women and males are not the same.
Males are just objectively inferior. Show me a woman saying that women just want to commit rape and torture.
Males admit that males just want to commit rape and torture.
I don't even see women claiming that all women are gold diggers, and if one did, other women would disagree.

[blackeagle007]

@heruncommonsense ah so you disagree. It’s ok for you to say nasty stuff about us. But we have to shut up? Sounds narcissistic

[heruncommonsense]

@blackeagle007 Males are just objectively inferior.

[ohsheeT]

That's just to much drama what ever happened to just friends. I mean dont get me wrong I loving making it all about the girl I'm with to take her to places she might not ever hone before but I got the message loud and clear and I under stand the guy like you but yes to much drama you need a LDR. LOL

[HawkPerception]

Here's the thing about some guys. A lot of them will say they want something casual only when YOU say you're not looking for anything serious. The they try to get in your good books and try to potentially be your serious partner.

And that low IQ move is usually done by emotionally volatile guys who get jealous easily. So when they see they're not getting what they want, they'll show their true colours and frustration.

[mysteriousNicholas]

In the real world 👀 if I was asking out a woman, or a woman has asked me, and we go for a date or three, surely I'd like it organically raised or gradually discussed "so... what exactly are you, looking for - an I a keeper, a ditcher, a snitcher, or a short termer"

However long I play my cards right lol ♦️ ♠️

[mysteriousNicholas]

That's what I feel is lacking at times - I mean why folks never talk upfront, without being blunt - 🫣🙂😈 must be the work of the devil when folks sweep things

[mysteriousNicholas]

No one likes someone who's blunt 👀 let alone deadpan blunt 🫣 or poorly abrupt

[Anonymous]

Because he wants you to be his w out him being yours. So it’s ok for him to phuk you, talk to other women, call you up when he wants. But things in reverse where you can do the same. No. You’re just a side piece that he can call on whenever he wants.

[beenherebefore]

Well, he either doesn't respect your boundaries or he doesn't understand what a casual relationship is.

[jshm2]

You're either retarded, or a sociopath.

He has grown to like you, and wants to take things up to the next level.

[YTuber417]

Yeah, this is why friends with benefits almost never work. One or even both eventually develop feelings and it ruins the dynamic.

[heruncommonsense]

@YTuber417 ... friends with benefits doesn't work because people want to fuck?
What do you think the "benefits" are? If someone develops feelings, good, they're already fucking.

[YTuber417]

@heruncommonsense In the long run it does not work unless both agree to date.

[RavVid]

I am not seeing much indication he is wanting a casual relationship with you.. The ex-FWB was a different girl so his interactions with her aren't relevant to those with you.

[itsannalee]

Because they actually want the benefit of relationships but without the real responsibility of it.

[AviatorTom]

A guy goes into it thinking just casual, then finds out that he is getting an emotional attachment, and wants something more than casual.

[genericname85]

cause it's a hassle to find someone else to fuck as a man so they get pissed that they gotta make the effort now. i know women can't relate cause it's so easy for them but that's what it is.

[Flower7]

Well how do you know that he only wants something “casual”?

[HighValue]

I don't know, I have never wanted a casual relationship.

[slatyb]

His feelings aren't your problem. All you can do is be honest about what you will and won't do.

[MJVillarama]

Classic double standard , they want freedom but still crave attention and validation.

[RedWine9]

They want you to be exclusive with them, but they have other women or find “better.”

[DrPepper12]

Me man!! Ugga booga!!! Woman mine!! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[Shy_Steve]

Because we usually don't have any other opportunities like you Women do.

[guesswhereivebeen]

Evades they are clingy jealous kids who don’t know what open relationship means

[noohair]

He is a guy. His ego is as fragile as an egg...

[Anonymous]

Well for me it was the woman wanting casual, I said no.

[Anonymous]

Because they don’t like aggression. They are human being too

[mysteriousNicholas]

Nobody wants aggression in a - lover 😅

[Vegasrunner]

He doesn't have other options

[Anonymous]

I guess they are indecisive.