Men say they want casual but feel some type of way when it’s treated like casual?

[Anonymous]

So I was talking to this guy and we met on a dating app. I matched with him and eventually we text. He tells me he’s looking for casual. He asks me if I knew what ‘casual’ meant and I said basically sex. He said yeah and then he gives me his # and we text. We’ve texted nearly everyday for a couple months, we met a good amount of times but I am trying to treat it as casual. So I’m not texting as much or I’m pulling back from texting but when I do that he starts to double or triple text. He would check on me. Whatever. But I feel like if it’s casual, I don’t have to text back all the time. Anyways, I don’t keep the text going for day but I eventually pop in and tell him that I would like to have sex. His texting changes but then he calls and we meet up. We don’t text for a day but he texts saying he likes having sex with me. I text him confirming I like it too. He doesn’t text back. It’s been almost a week but I made it clear that I like having sex with him. I’m confused bc he said he wanted ‘casual’ as in having sex. I keep it purely that. Mind you we both have other options but if it’s casual sex then we can have sex with whoever. I don’t know I’m confused. It seems like he’s not being honest with what he wants too.

[ManOnFire]

When you're doing this kind of thing there's likely to be confusion in it. But one thing I will say is that men actually do tend to get feelings for a girl they're sleeping with casually more than most people really talk about, and more than the guys realize themselves. It has also happened to me as well. When you pull away or get quiet, it triggers him to want to hold on to you out of fear that he'll lose you for either sexual availability or as a future prospect, but then when you message him regularly he gets comfortable and texts less. And then you guys meet up for sex and everything is good, until you repeat the cycle.

And it's why we should be dating someone and forming a serious relationship with them not just built on sex and emotional dopamine.

[spartan55]

I don't see how he thinks it's more than casual. Nothing I your post really suggests it.

[Asker]

Well if I’m offering to have sex with him why is he pulling away from me?

[spartan55]

Where does it say anything about him pulling away?

[Asker]

At the end, he stopped texting me and I haven’t heard from him in a week

[spartan55]

Has he heard from you? No.

[Asker]

Makes no sense. I already said I wanted sex, now it’s up to him. Duh

[spartan55]

But he told you the same. You aren't making any sense

[DishLady]

"Casual" for a guy means he wants the right to come and go as he pleases. No guy in his right mind is ok "marking his turf" and then watching some other guy take something he considers "his"... even if you're not dating, even if you're friends with benefits, even if he stands back and claims to be "just friends"... it's bugging him that you have options.

[In_Trance]

So what's your question

[Asker]

Like why say casual but not want just casual?

[In_Trance]

It's probably his first rodeo and he has no idea what he's doing