Guys, Why do men feel entitled to a woman’s body and other sexual acts from a woman?

[Anonymous]

Not saying all men, but obviously a vast majority of them if the question is being asked.

one. I’ll start with is blow jobs, men expect it. If they aren’t given it then they are upset, feel “unloved” not “cared for” not “wanted”. Which I personally think makes them feel insecure that they aren’t getting it.
Two. If they aren’t receiving enough sex. People work hours a day, both do. And sometimes you don’t want to come home and have sex. Some guys don’t think that’s okay, and some actually understand and respect that. If you say no once, then some of them think first thing is to go cheat. If you can’t have self control why exactly are you dating or married? If you can’t respect your partners no why exactly are you with them? But same thing they say is they don’t feel “loved” “cared” for “wanted” or “attractive”. Well when you place everything onto being sexual and having sex that’s what you’ll equate everything to. Which is sad.

i don’t know, I've realized that the so called “men” who are like this weren’t raised properly. And they surrounded themselves with horrible friends that also thought this way. Those aren’t men, those are boys who never grew up.

and before you say “well what if a guy doesn’t want to eat you out?” That’s fine, I’m not going to be upset with it, I’m not going to be angry about it at ll. If it’s something he’s not comfortable with then that’s that. No pushing, no pressuring, no guilt tripping. I don’t equate pleasure to love. If he brings pleasure in that way that’s great, if he’d rather do it some other way great.

now I personally am uncomfortable with giving blow jobs just like I said a man pee’s out of the thing. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t try to do it, and it’ll only be if I’m okay with doing it.
everyone has something sexually that they are uncomfortable with, and that’s okay. But when you place their value/love on how they do, then that’s when the problem starts.

Updates

7 mo

Muting this cause, only 4 people have actually understood the question.
No one is saying no intimacy, but more so why do some men feel the need to cross boundaries a woman that is uncomfortable with giving blow jobs has? Also the entitlement that some men have on their partners body.
But then again it’s showed me that the remainder of answers do feel that entitlement, or will guilt trip/ use coercion which is sad.

[OneViewpoint]

Hey, it's fine if a woman doesn't want physical intimacy with the guy she's dating, engaged to, living with or married to. Everyone gets to make that choice for themselves. Including men. And at that point the woman is a roommate, not a romantic partner, by her choice, not his.

You want a man's physical and financial security. His loyalty. His status. The lifestyle he provides. His car and home maintenance. Someone to cuddle you and tell you what you want to hear. You want a man to be your physical, financial, and emotional support animal. Sorry, I don't do that for my male friends and I'm not doing that for a female roommate.

Fine, roommates receive different treatment than romantic partners. And if a woman can shut off intimacy, so can a man. You feeling horny when you're ovulating? You stressing over your biological clock ticking? Tough. I probably stopped seeing you that way a long time ago. And I'm gonna avoid getting you pregnant at all costs.

It gets worse for you. Have you expressed your negative attitude about intimacy loud and often? I don't want you even if you're suddenly "in the mood" or willing to "fake it". Yeah, men can tell when women view sex as an obligation and a chore. It destroys all attraction permanently.

And personally I don't view a guy taking care of his needs cheating at that point if he's being held hostage with children or economics or getting "sex as a chore" from an asexual wife. I will go get what I need elsewhere. Whether that's a breakup, divorce, or just cheating on you at every opportunity.

Welcome to the real world young lady. Life is not a one way street that always runs in the direction that's most convenient for you.

[Asker]

The thing is.. I don’t want/need a man’s financial security.
Now almost every has completely overlooked what I said. I’m not saying that have intimacy, did I? No, I said why do men expect it/ feel entitled to it all the time?
It’s not a “need” I’ve done the research, it’s a desire. But has been placed on men since children that they have to “need” it. I’m not asexual, so let’s not run that word into me like it’s something I am.
Blow jobs are uncomfortable for me, that’s not me being disrespectful it’s me setting a boundary.
And personally I don’t want kids, so no man would be held hostage. If he cheats it only takes one time and the man is out. Not sure why everyone skipped over the fact I didn’t say no intimacy, more so why does a man feel entitled to it

[OneViewpoint]

Yeah, you're totally self absorbed and not getting it yourself. You're 18-24 and know it all. Best of luck in life. Most guys are gonna walk away from you long before the topic of blow jobs come up.

[Asker]

Yeah bud whatever you say… “self absorbed” and it’s just me saying I’m not comfortable doing something lol and sticking to it.

[Asker]

But then again the only older man I should be asking any questions or taking advice from is my father.
At that man said to set boundaries and hold them firm and that’s what I do.
But then again you proved you weren’t worth listening to when you assumed what I wanted from a man, cause that’s what you assume women want you for.

[OneViewpoint]

Yup you're clueless. With a head like a brick. Have a long lonely life. No guy is gonna want you.

[Asker]

Yay!

[Asker]

I have no interest in being with a guy that’s okay with forcing something, acts like he’s entitled to sex everytime he wants it, and views the relationship as if it’s just a sex thing.
I personally am single by choice, if all a man can bring to me is what I already do for myself then what’s the point?
Being single is fun, stress free, no needing to hope a dude isn’t cheating at all, I don’t have to hope a guy isn’t using me for sex, and I also don’t have to worry about a guy forcing me to suck him off even though I’ve said it makes me uncomfortable. So very very happy I don’t have to deal with that. “Long lonely life” and all it is, is someone not caring if there with a man or not, lol. You can continue to push the whole “if you don’t have a man you’re going to be lonely” agenda, I don’t really care for it. That’s never worked on me, and it won’t ever work on me.

[OneViewpoint]

So you agree. He's better off walking away from you and you're better off walking away from him to spend your life alone, stress free, un cheated on, and unused for sex. You don't need men and they don't need you. Sounds like everyone wins. What are you arguing about? Your way or the highway. Most men will choose the highway and another woman. That should make you happy. I'm so happy you finally figured this out.

[BarryLiverstone]

I feel like I’ve answered this question on gag before. Did you ask to begin a conversation about the topic or are you asking guys for their perspective?

[Asker]

I’m asking for a guys perspective! I enjoy hearing different perspectives, as everyone thinks differently. I don’t have many guy friends so unless I ask my dad about it, I’d only hear 2 perspectives.

[BarryLiverstone]

Overall my answer after reading your entire question is the guys you are asking about either are ignorant or as you mentioned were not brought up in a mature culture. While there are differences in how our brains work, guys and girls can generally agree that sexual acts and thoughts come with various risks, emotional levels, and boundaries.

The guys you are asking about in general may not fully understand these details and thus could be thinking very short term. Usually girls would be considering more long term effects from decisions made as it could affect the future moreso than a guy who could view the experience as transactional and does need to even remember it a week later if he was safe in the moment.

I’ve got more feedback but wanted to give you some overall reaction to see if I’m reacting to the topics you wanted to discuss?

[Asker]

Actually yes, that’s exactly it. If you wanna share more feedback feel free to.
I definitely understand needing to remember it, but viewing a relationship any part of it as transactional is kind of bad. I mean imagine a pregnant wife who shouldn’t really be having sex, should she risk her body in its state?
But then again not every guy is ignorant like that, but there’s enough that it does raise a question.

[BarryLiverstone]

Sure I’ll continue. Expounding on transactional it can be within and without a relationship.

We can broadly understand a one night stand is not within a relationship. The two people share a level of attraction and decide to do physical sexual acts of any degree. This is transactional as each gets something they want (hopefully) from the night and don’t continue to see each other.

Another way sex can be transactional is within a relationship and even in a marriage. While not glamorized often in art (see movies or books), a married couple may chose to have sex purely as a physical act and devoid of intimacy and emotional support. In those cases again both get something they want even if the classic example of this is a husband gets a handjob and the wife gets a night of no guilt and begging.

Also no, a wife who has complications while pregnant should always rely on her medical caretaker/doctor when making decisions involving sex. Safety is always better than not

[BarryLiverstone]

Now another thing you raised is needs. Sure in general both girls and guys have needs and mostly they overlap (need for love and support and attention and respect). However there are some differences. As a guy , we when less experienced will fear underperforming sexually and the resulting rejection a girl may choose as judgment after. That’s going to cause some decisions we make. Also as a guy our bodies produce more testosterone daily, a chemical which will affect our brain and cause some needs already mentioned.

We can choose to take care of those needs by ourselves or interact with other people to explore those needs. Obviously there are wants and needs and through communication we should be mature enough to share the differences

[BarryLiverstone]

Your (1: oral sex) and (2: sexual frequency) and examples of both needs and desires which exist both in relationships and outside of them as well. Did you want to know more about them inside a relationship or outside of one?

[Asker]

I personally myself will never classify sex as a “need” as you won’t die if it isn’t fulfilled, but everyone thinks things differently. It so happens to be men believe that they are “needs” which is fine, for whatever girl they end up with just not me. I’d say that anything sexual is desire. While I will add that if I am with a man long term and he knows I’m uncomfortable with a blow job, he shouldn’t be begging or guilting me into doing it. I’d say he isn’t viewing me as his person at all if he does so knowing that. But I am hearing you, it just sucks that men think that way at all.
So then I ask, why do men feel the need to lack respect for there parents when they won’t do something? I mean, I’ve heard and seen men go on a cheat on there partners when the woman is pregnant and cannot have sex for safety concerns or if the woman is uncomfortable such as myself with doing certain things? Yet they still expect us to respect them after they choose to push those things onto us?

[BarryLiverstone]

Because anyone who cheats (guys or girls) have been tempted and couldn’t stay loyal on their partner. It’s got very little to do with sex actually and more with decision making and responsibility.

That being said, while sex is a higher level need on Maslows compared to food and water it’s still a need to outlet felt desire. If that outlet is closed off then resentment and depression can be the results. Certainly individuals can choose which activities to engage in and which are a no go; everyone has boundaries. But there are also therapists and sexual counselors who work with couples in a healthy way.

Yes, when she’s pregnant and a certain time after giving birth the sexual desire she experience changes for both people. However there are enough sources to educate and create a plan for that time

[BarryLiverstone]

by the way, guys who push sex and force it onto their partners (when it’s not a kink) generally should expect to be rejected. Love isn’t forced, it’s freely given

[Anonymous]

For the same reason a woman feels entitled to a man's attention and adulation. Not saying all women but obviously a vast majority of them if the question is being asked.😆

[Asker]

I don’t feel entitled to any man’s attention or adulation and there are many women don’t either. I personally can live without a man’s attention or adulation. I’ve done it all the years I’ve been alive, if I get it I get it. If I don’t? Not a problem.
I’m asking because the few times I’ve gone on dates, the dude will outright within the first 10 minutes ask me about sexual things, when I give them an honest answer about how I’m not comfortable giving blow jobs they get upset saying I’m not “relationship material”. But when I throw the question back about eating out a girl they say they don’t need to do it, because it takes too long. But giving a blow job to a guy isn’t a minute or two is it? No, it usually isn’t.
I’m not sure what kind of women your around or if it’s just purely online that you see, but the women I’m around don’t really seek male attention or feel entitled to it at all.

[Opinion Owner]

So what!!!

I've never asked for sex in the first 10 minutes, the first 3 dates, or EVER for that matter. If she wants to have sex it's pretty obvious and i don't have to ask.
I have however had a multitude, most, nearly all women feel entitled to my attention and or adulation. It really doesn't matter what you say in this area. It's a lot of guys experience, not just mine. If you whine about men asking you for sex I'm going to SET YOU STRAIGHT. About what my gender endures. You're no victim, anymore than we are.

[Asker]

I didn’t say I was a victim? So I’m a little confused where exactly you got that from. I also didn’t say women didn’t do it, I said myself and many others don’t. I’m little confused to why you seem upset?
If the women are you feel entitled to those two things, then maybe look for women in other areas. I’ve never heard a guy around me say that’s happened to them or expected from them. I’m not whining about everything, I’m simply asking a question about why.
You don’t need to set me “straight”, it’s just a question. Don’t be so upset about it, geez

[Opinion Owner]

Listen toots if I get any more relaxed I'll be asleep. Don't make insinuations where there is no merit.
Secondly, I don't "look" for any woman, I react. If a woman is interested in me I react. But that doesn't stop your sisters from leading me and other men on just for the thrill of it. I'm not mad? Why would I be? You simply asked a question and I answered it. According to you a lot of men do what you're accusing them of, even though i've seen very little men do that actually. But a lot of your gender DOES plays these games. Sorry if you find that unpalatable (hell you may be one of them). Now the real question here is why are YOU getting so riled about me handing you a TRUTH bomb?

[Asker]

Firstly other women aren’t my sisters, my sister already passed away so…
Also I say a vast majority do it, didn’t say all of them do. I’m not accusing them at all, when I’m the one going on dates with them, am I? Not sure why the world doesn’t acknowledge both play games, sorry not sorry but both do. Well considering I’m a virgin and I’ve never had a boyfriend there’s nothing for me to play games about. Plus I don’t attempt to lead anyone on, if they show me sex is there top priority or want it right from the jump I let them know that forming a relationship is my top priority and that I’m not going to have sex with them right at the start of the relationship. So is that leading them on?
I’m not riled up at all, I’m just stating based on patterns with guys I’ve been friends with the way your phrasing things makes it seem like you’re upset.
I’m not going to apologize for what other women do, as you won’t apologize for other men do. And neither should be expected too. You don’t know every man in the world just like I don’t know every woman in the world. So the little you’ve seen is what you can account for.
But just as you date women you can speak on what you see, what they don’t show other women. Just like for me the guys I’ve gone on dates with, that hide what they do or how they act from other men I can speak on.
It’s great that you’re not upset, and I don’t mean that sarcastically as I don’t mean to upset anyone.
If I was gonna chose anything to do for a thrill it would definitely be being able to sit in a car with an f1 driver for a hot lap around the track not play around with men and lead them on.
I’ve been rejected enough throughout my life by other guys so there’s no reason I want there attention. Those ones have shown me I won’t be chosen for anything but for sex, so I don’t want the attention let alone their money. I work almost 50-60 hours a week, there’s no reason for me to want someone else’s money.

[Asker]

“Don't make insinuations where there is no merit.“ I could say the same thing for this “(hell you may be one of them)”. I’m very far from it.
I’m asking these questions because I genuinely want to know what’s going on when guys are like that. Considering I cut off a lot of friends men or woman who have cheated, lied to their partners, or are just rude regarding leading on/rejecting.

[Opinion Owner]

So what you're saying then is YOU need to make better choices in men. I agree. But that is not every man's problem or even most. Just the majority of the ones you YOU choose.
I do not want to argue either. I can see you're angry about the guy YOU choose that keep wanting to sleep with you. So go against you natural inclinations that make you choose those men. Nobody can fix this but you. This is not a problem that men you do not choose can fix. And asking the men who want to sleep with you to stop is like asking a dog that is intent on biting you to not bite you.
You cannot expect a person to respect you that simply doesn't. Sorry start choosing men who do respect you and you'll stop having this problem.

[Asker]

Well considering I’ve never dated any of them, it’s not “choose better men” because I got to know what there intentions were and left before going on a second date. Also I don’t choose them, I give anyone that asks me on a date a chance. Because everyone deserves a chance, that’s how you see if you’re compatible or not.
People can want to sleep with me all they want to, but they won’t get to unless I decide they can. I know the whole “pick better men” thing and yada yada. My question was why do men think this way, not how do I fix this.
I’m not upset that they want to sleep with me, cause it’s not happening for them. They can have a wet dream about it or whatever they just won’t be touching me. So it’s not much of a problem, but I’d like to gain knowledgeable on why those types of men are the losers they are

[Opinion Owner]

So you go out with every guy who asks you eh. I doubt that, but whatever you say.
Why do they do it. Because guys like sex. I ain't hard to understand. But some guy conduct themselves like they got no momma. And those are the guys you're CHOOSING to give a chance.
Any other questions? this isn't rocket science.

[Anonymous]

The same reason women will accuse their man of being gay or thinking he isn't attracted to her when he isn't in the mood.

[Asker]

I’ve never heard that one before, usually the attracted part is when a man is looking at other women or watching porn. But understandable. I’m not one of the women that says things like that.

[chucktheduck]

Because guys are ruled by their hormones and have overly sensitive genitals

[chucktheduck]

I think most guys would benefit from removing them

[In_Trance]

You posted this a week ago

[Asker]

Actually I didn’t. I take a few months off this app. Last time I used it was around late April, so no didn’t post this last week. But thanks for assuming

[jahaims]

The entitled ones don't respect females

[CubaPirate]

I just dont

[Asker]

You don’t what? Do you mind explaining a bit?

[CubaPirate]

Im respectfully saying i dont feel "entitled" to her body. Its her to choose what she does with it

[Asker]

Ohh got it! Understandable.