What’s up with this guy?

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t even know my cousins… one followed him because of me… my other cousin said she doesn’t know him…. He made me feel see. In the past and was kind so it’s confusing

[HollyK21]

Move on from this Chels. It’s gonna be a brand new year, let it go.

[Asker]

I couldn’t do it anymore I stopped being a teacher. I’m no contact with my family and I’m looking do escorting

[HollyK21]

No contact with your family isn’t bad since there was so much drama, take a break from trying to fix that. But escorting? That’s a shame.

[Asker]

Well you think I’m a shame anyway

I’m talking about my mom and dad not really my step “family “ I already know they don’t give af but I won’t play victim because I said something harsh to her mother

[HollyK21]

I don’t think you’re a shame but I do think you make bad choices, like trying to escort, I don't know why you’d want to be so self destructive. You were talking about switching schools, why didn’t you just do that?

[Asker]

Because I got sick and ended getting vocal cord dysfunction and lpr… caused by a respiratory infection. I stay sick, kids don’t listen, i was scared about becoming obsessed with my coworker, anxiety…

I’d rather do anything else but I don’t know what… looking for remote work

[HollyK21]

Sorry to hear that Chels, it’s a lot going on. Well, if leaving that field completely is what you thought was best then I won’t knock you for it. One thing to keep in mind though is that ‘you take you everywhere’, meaning that no matter where you wind up at, your issues will always be part of your day to day until you deal with it. I don't know how your mental health journey is going but I do hope you’re doing more now than just taking meds and found a professional that you feel comfortable talking to. You were scared of becoming obsessed with your coworker, but this could happen again with any guy you meet in the future and I’m sure you wanna avoid that altogether.

As far as work goes, I’d really say not to do the job that makes you feel any worse than you already do. The priority right now shouldn’t be to feel seen and validated by men but to start building a real future for your life. There’s got to be things you really wanna experience in life that doesn’t involve men, and who knows maybe that’s where your next career will be. Escort work is plain old degrading and gross. The average dude you pass on the street is hardly attractive, pulled together or worth a second glance, yet those are the men you’d be basing your livelihood upon. If you think you feel worthless now just imagine some scrawny nobody who’s half your size and smells like sweaty ballsack thinking you owe him the performance of his life.

[Asker]

I learned my lesson with men. They’re liars and I’ll never be what they want. That’s okay. I learned to objectify them I just want money

If I can’t find a job I’ll just go to a homeless shelter temporarily

[HollyK21]

You can’t objectify them without doing the same to yourself in the process, and I’m not sure why you’d wanna do that. It’s your life though.

[Asker]

It will help me get over him… I still have a sore spot for him… I know him my cousin were or are talking… I told her that I hope they’re happy.

[HollyK21]

Yeah, you already mentioned you told her that. she’s probably still upset.

[Asker]

Why is she upset when she talked to someone I confided in her in? What are we talking about?

[HollyK21]

Well Chels, you did accuse her of talking to him without proof of it, so that looks messed up on your part. How you’re feeling or what you’re thinking isn’t proof.

[Asker]

No I go by actions and her actions were weird. Yeah i shouldn’t have pretended to be him but when she did what I told her to do and didn’t even block the account that sent her the message

She’s not innocent that was proof enough

[HollyK21]

Probably because she knew it was fake Chels. If I were confiding in my cousin about all that then magically this man messages me out of the blue I’m gonna put A and B together. There’s no reason for that man to have contacted your cousin or was very clearly you testing her. You were trying to be slick with someone who’s known you your whole life even at a distance.

[HollyK21]

*it was

[Asker]

You’re getting confused… she never blocked the message.. she blocked my number and social media

And we were starting to talk back again we were starting to become cool

[HollyK21]

So what am I getting confused? I’m not talking about blocking anything, I’m basically saying why would that guy have any reason to reach out to your cousin from a different profile?

[Asker]

You’re not getting it and I don’t want to re explain because it will upset me.

[HollyK21]

That’s fine.

[bowenw]

What do you mean by: "He made me feel see"?

[Asker]

Seen…. I’m sorry

[bowenw]

There isn't a lot of detail to go on to give an opinion. Is he a friend of yours?

[Asker]

He was a guy at my camp years ago and he was always kind to me… we were teens and I was a loner.. he complimented me, made me feel seen etc

[bowenw]

It sounds like he was a nice guy.

[Asker]

Yeah but now he’s treating me like I don’t exist and he doesn’t owe me anything but I do feel like now I don’t matter in which I don’t

I’m just confused

[bowenw]

Is he ignoring your messages?

[Asker]

I sent him a nice message and he left it on read.. I was just thanking him

[spartan55]

Wow, you are all over the road here.