Is he manipulating me on purpose to make me fall in love, or am I overthinking?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been talking to this guy for a while, but we’ve only met twice. He put in a lot of effort— organizing fancy activities, remembering small details I mentioned months ago, and showing attention.
I noticed He also uses “silent pauses” of a few days before reaching out again. When we talk, he’s playful, flirty, and attentive, suggesting activities I enjoy. He respects boundaries and hasn’t pressured me physically, but he jokes about “rules” and wants some control in the dynamic.
Is this his way of genuinely pursuing a relationship, or is he manipulating my emotions?

[Nikki1989]

This is a classic "mixed signals" scenario that often indicates a calculated pursuit. The behavior you're describing is a blend of genuine high-effort courtship and psychological "game-playing" techniques.

[DishLady]

He sounds very controlling. You barely know each other and he’s doing all this. Beware of the pauses… Means he’s not set on you yet.

[Anonymous]

You're kind of old. What does your past tell you? A leopard does not change it's spots. If you have a habit of being attracted to manipulative men, then why would that change?

[Asker]

thanks but im not asking that...

[Opinion Owner]

OK, that's fine. But you asked the question. I'm just trying to help you find the answer. I gain nothing from this. If you were 16 to 18 I'd assume you had a very short dating history. I would assume by this point you know the type of guy you date. And could put this one together if you were really being honest with yourself. After all we don't know this guy, or you. Any off us could take a shot in the dark, flip a coin, and be right or wrong.
So, if you want us to tell you what you want to hear then word the question that way. If you want us to guess, say that. But i answered the way I did because I'm looking at all the evidence. Do what you will with that.👍

[Anonymous]

It is hard to say. If I was completely obsessed and really, really like a girl, I would be extremely honest..

[LouRoc]

He wants to be with you but wants to compromise, but if he tries to change all the your rules then yes he's trying to be controlling. Relationships are 50/50 not one sided. Him and you picking battles to win or lose, relationships are about working with each other in every way, Be open with each other.

[spartan55]

What are talking about?

[spartan55]

Are YOU talking about?

[Anonymous]

Manipulation

[Asker]

i think so too, but im worried im overthinking...

[In_Trance]

You're overthinking